TS For President!

I Love Myself

2009-09-28T17:02:00.001-07:00

Dude, I just had an amazing idea. However, it requires me to remind all of the non-existent readers what a big "South Park" fan I am. ....I like South Park a lot. OK, is that out of the way? Good.

Anyways, in case you haven't heard, a "Family Guy" episode about abortion or something was pulled a couple of months ago.

Now, since a show like "South Park" takes about six days to make and doesn't (in the words of the creators themselves) "sit on the shelf" for a long time, they would probably get away with something like an episode about abortion.

Still following me? Well, most South Park fans know that the creators (Trey Parker & Matt Stone) absolutely despise "Family Guy." So, why not just laugh in their face and make an abortion episode? No doubt Comedy Central would probably air it.

So, um... I just wasted my daily epiphany on that idea.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Hate Hipsters

2009-09-18T20:47:00.000-07:00

Kind of (one of my friends is kind of a hipster... I forgive her).

And elitists. (Cultural ones, that is... intellectual elitism is another subject of which I will rant about another day).

The story: I, being a super-awesome college student, was googling "hot topic sucks" earlier. (By sucks, I refer only to the SHIT they call products. You know, the clothes that last a week before falling apart.)Instead, I found a girl ranting about how Hot Topic is so "mainstream" and that if you want to NOT be "mainstream," you have to shop at thrift stores.

What the fuck?

You don't condemn things just because they are "mainstream." Sure, in my opinion most mainstream music sucks (I know I just jumped from Hot Topic to music... go with it), but not because a lot of people like it. I also know a ton of obscure bands that suck. And, of course, most of my favorites are fairly mainstream.

Even if a band or store is sucky mainstream crap, it's ridiculous to belittle the people that like it. Someone's personal preferences in one are don't determine their entire personality.*

So yeah. I pretty much wrote this blog for the post script.

Peace Out.
-TS

*Except for Twilight fans. Only brainless idiots like Twilight. If you like Twilight, it makes you a brainless idiot. Because only a brainless idiot could like Twilight.

I Hate People

2009-09-14T10:03:00.000-07:00

I'm sure we probably have more than 1 blog with this particular title, but right now, my faith in humanity is dropping almost as fast as it was during the "TWILIGHT IZ AWSUM!!!111!8589!" Boom of 2006-2008.

OK, I have to wonder, does anybody actually know how to behave themselves these days? Does anyone know what the fuck respect means? (Lol, I put "fuck" and "respect" next to each other in a sentence.) Should I be worried when a Congressman of all people decides to shout during Obama's health care speech? Then attempts to defend himself by saying it was simply reflex.

Now, even I disagree with the including illegal aliens in the health care bill, but there are other, better times to tell OUR PRESIDENT that he's a big, fat, douche-y liar. I mean, I was even peeved a few months ago when someone threw a shoe at President Bush. (I will not, however, deny that I chuckled at the incident.)

So, some of America can't be satisfied with that. Kanye West decided to put the douchebag cherry on top of the douchebag sundae by interrupting Taylor Swift during her acceptance speech at the VMAs and basically telling her she wasn't worthy of the award.

Again, I will admit that Taylor Swift has only simple, but retarded lyrics and catchy tunes going for her music, but even I would have behaved better than that! I may be a total bitch when I'm blogging, but I know when to tone it down in public.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Hate...

2009-08-19T19:42:00.000-07:00

Chalk another one up for the TS&BJ hate list: Pro-life looney*, Jill Stanek!

Ts, if you're reading this, you've probably never heard of this woman, but, trust me, I know you will truly despise her as much as I do at this moment.

She's completely insane, believing every word that spews out of her mouth to be true (and how can that be, when being right all the time is a privilege reserved for only TS and I?) and her supporters are just as hypocritical. In fact, as I've observed, her supporters believe it's OK for them to be demeaning and hypocritical, simply because they believe all liberals are that way. They also believe they intimidate liberals and pro-choicers, and that liberals are "cowardly" because they run away from what I like to call, "Internet Blog Comment Arguments." Wow, guys, way to rise above us "childish and cowardly" liberals. (By the way, I've observed this "cowardly" behavior from Stanek herself on Feministing. ;) )

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

*Disclaimer- This is not to say all pro-lifers are loonies. In my opinion, however, Jill Stanek is most certainly a grade A looney.

I Love Brad Pitt

2009-08-13T15:06:00.000-07:00

Via MSNBC:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Partial Transcript:

"Would you serve?”

“Yeah. I’m running on the gay marriage, no
religion, legalization and taxation of marijuana platform,” he joked.

That comment drew a measured “OK” from Curry.

“I don’t have a
chance,” Pitt predicted.

He's right- he wouldn't stand a chance. Even with my support, he would still lose, because New Orleans is in the south, a strange place where gay marriage, no religion, and marijuana don't exist.

But what does this say about my future campaign? If Brad Pitt can't win New Orleans, can I win America?

Of course! Brad Pitt may be awesome, but he isn't me.

This is why I should be president.
-TS

I Love Edward

2009-08-11T21:36:00.000-07:00

Watching BJ air-humping cardboard cut-outs of him, that is. We found this in Saturday Matinee, the movie store in the mall:

Note the child in the background... I made BJ do it quick so he wouldn't turn around and see.

This is why I should be president.

-TS

I Hate This Shit

2009-08-10T16:42:00.000-07:00

I'm attempting, in vain, it seems, to contact my local Werehnberg Theatre so that I can find out if "Ponyo" is showing on Friday.

Damn it, I want to talk to a real fucking person, not some robot who doesn't understand a fucking thing I say.

Are you really that busy that you refuse to talk to customers over the phone? Instead, you give me this unlikable robot woman who asks me to repeat myself, like, once before she gives up on me and I have to go through the whole process of calling the theatre and pressing the numbers all over again.

God, the Nintendo Company is more personal than you! At least I can easily get a hold of a real person on the other line.

This is why I should be President. (No more of this shit!)

-BJ.

I Hate Breasts

2009-08-07T12:21:00.000-07:00

Yes, folks. Breasts are B-A-D! All breasts are plotting the downfall of societies everywhere, not to mention they are the reason so many teenage girls are getting knocked up.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "Isn't teenage pregnancy rising because of the abstinence movement? Because schools are now refusing to teach teens how to properly put condoms on, and tell girls where birth control can be easily accessed?"

OF COURSE NOT! How can you be so stupid? It's because women are tempting men with their evil breasts. All women should just leave their dumb boobs at home. In fact, why are they out and about, and not making sandwiches in the kitchen? (Because boobs are making them do it, duh.)

Now, I go on my little rant about the evils of boobies because of the hot new toy stirring up controversy.

Baby Glutton comes with a halter top that has daisies in the boob area. When Baby Glutton is placed next to the daisies, it makes a sucking noise, imitating the act of breastfeeding. It's the hot new toy and I'm pretty sure it originates in Mexico... of course! Who else would make such a vile toy? How dare these Mexicans teach our children that breasts are for something other than tempting men to have sex with you? How dare you try and tell me that it's OK to teach little kids about the completely unnatural act of breastfeeding!

Luckily, Fox News is right alongside me on this one.

What did we learn today? Well, we learned that breasts are good for nothing except giving men something nice to look at. It's not like multiple studies show the benefit of breastfeeding or anything. Forget about keeping your child healthy; breasts are only for sexual pleasure (of men, of course) and have absolutely no important biological function.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Hate Multiple Rants

2009-08-03T18:59:00.000-07:00

I seriously couldn't decide which one to blog about first, but they're both fairly short rants, so I figured I could get away with posting two completely different topics in one blog.

To start off: I've already ranted about Taylor Swift once on this blog and how her songs play on the radio too damn often to be justified. Yet, I was listening to Love Story the other day (I'm too lazy to turn the radio off), and realized something I should have realized a long time ago:

Taylor Swift isn't fucking Country. Her songs shouldn't be considered country, and if you listen to them multiple times, you begin to realize what a goddamn poser this sad excuse for a singer is. Hell, I'd even accept (some.... SOME) of Miley Cyrus' songs because she at least has a southern accent. People should realize that Taylor Swift's songs are the farthest thing from country we are ever going to get, and she should be stripped of her title of being the first country singer to have a Top 40 song.

Excuse me, did Carrie Underwood disappear off the face of the earth or something?

OK, now we move on to the second rant, which follows the blog theme a little better, even though we haven't been doing that for a while now.... =D

Apparently, Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger has decided that the safety of women isn't worth having the state of California go into debt. He has completely cut funds for Domestic Violence shelters in California, jepordizing the safety of women in abusive relationships all over the state.

Now, given the "understanding" individual that I am, I would have understood possibly a 20% cut in Domestic Violence shelter budgets, as the state is in deep, deep debt. However, a recession is no excuse to leave abused women out of the budget. I can't possibly tell you how steamed I am about this; I can't convey such anger over the internet.... but I'll try.

Ahem; OMG WTF WER U THINKIN ARNOLD?!?!11!?!/1 U TINK DAT WOMEN DON'T DESRV HELP IF DEY R ABUSED U SICK MOFO?!.!.4693!!/! F U W/ SUMTING HARD & SANDPAPER-Y!-=5451*!!!?!!!/!!11

Not quite sure it that helps you understand how angry I am, and as much as I'd love to rant about this, I simply must lurk Feministing and internet in general to see what can be done.

This is why I should be President. (H4V M4ST3RD CH4TSP34K LOL)

-BJ

I Hate MJ

2009-07-24T22:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Michael Jackson, (aka, King of Pop, MJ, the -original- Pedobear, etc.)

I'm sorry the media treated you as the butt of plastic surgery and pedophile jokes for the last who knows how many years. Now, being the two faced asshole the media tends to be, they suddenly find you cool now that you're six feet under and you can't make a comeback tour. I mean, if you had just taped a shitload of rehearsals ahead of time, you could've pulled a Heath Ledger.

I'll be honest, though, I think it was your fate all along, and you might've embarrassed yourself on the comeback tour, so God was all like "Fuck it, I'll just end this bastard's suffering right now."

So anyways, I felt kinda bad seeing you in a negative light my entire life then suddenly your heart stops and everyone's like "O YAH MJ WUZ DA GR8EST ILL MIZ HIM SOOO MUCH!!11ZSHIFTYELEVEN!!!111lolwhut" It really fucks up my perspective of you.

If it's any consolation (which it's not, 'cause you're dead! =D <--- Inappropriate smiley is inappropriate), I'd love to travel back in time and be your psychiatrist. I'm a good listener.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

PS- I don't think you were a pedophile.... really......I never did..... swear to God.....totally didn't.....

PSS- At least you've got Ed McMann, Billy Mays and Farrah Fawcett with you to keep you company, yo. Bet my bird Patrick Swayze will join you next! =D (Still inappropriate...)

I Hate Avodart

2009-07-18T23:17:00.000-07:00

All you women know what I'm talking about. That damn Avodart, the hot new prostate medication that is "only for men." Seriously, I've heard of sexism, but this is beyond my wildest feminist imagination. (But apparently me and a panda-spider protecting Michael Jackson from the police is not. <---Was a dream I had.)

Anyways, I was watching television, ignoring my duties as a popular political internet blogger, when SUDDENLY, I see a commercial for Avodart. At first the commercial seemed harmless enough, and I went back to slurping up shrimp ramen or doing stuff on my father's laptop. (Like watching Nostalgia Chick reviews.) When, at the end of the commercial, I clearly hear the narrator declare:

"Avodart is only for men."

OK, now my blood is seriously boiling. What wa selfish brand of prostate medicine! I mean, what the hell, Avodart? What am I supposed to do when MY prostate starts enlarging, and I can't control when I need to use the bathroom? Are you telling me that I, as a woman, just have to accept the fact that there are no prostate medicines out there for us, and that if we don't have adult diapers handy by the time our prostates enlarge, we're SOL?

Well, I say "fuck you" to Avodart and their selfish marketing.

This is why I should be President. (And obviously not a doctor. ;D)

-BJ

I Hate Liberals

2009-07-05T01:00:00.000-07:00

OK, so I was a bit confused when I went to the political subcategory on Amazon books... because the main page is filled with conservative propaganda! (As opposed to liberal propaganda, of course...). The rank bestsellers (as of 3:01 am) are as follows:

1.Glenn Beck's Common Sense (Kindle Edition)- Glenn Beck
2. Glenn Beck's Common Sense (Book edition)- GB
3. Liberty and Tyranny: A Conservative Manifesto (Kindle Edition)- Mark R. Levin
4. " " " " " " " (Book Edition)- " " "
5. Catastrophe (Kindle Edition)- Dick Morris
6. " " (BE) " " " " ""
7. 5000 Year Leap (Glenn Beck Foreword)- W. Cleon Skousen*
8. not propaganda
9. 5000 Year Leap-W. Cleon Skousen
10 & 11. Common Sense- Thomas Paine (not propaganda... anymore)

12. Liberal Fascism- Jonah Goldberg

etc.

First, I don't like how Amazon lists the Kindle version and the book version of a book separately, but I guess the delivery might be off so people would comment on that. But still... I haven't seen a bestseller's list so horrifying since... well, since a few minutes ago when I was on random pages and Twilight dominated EVERYTHING.

And it made me wonder why conservatives were selling so many books... and then it hit me.

It's because liberals don't read.

I mean, we're too busy getting high and having butt sex and getting fetuses sucked out to read. But that shouldn't be an excuse not to buy the liberal propaganda... it would give you something to swat the Jehovah's Witnesses away with. And the rating on these books should be significantly lower. If I've learned anything from Amazon, it's that you don't need to have read a book to judge it, bash it, and completely trash talk fans of it based on the author and/or your personal biases toward the subject matter (take THAT Glenn Beck!).

But whatever you do, don't read! If we take a break from sex/drugs/killing babies, then the conservatives will have won!

This is why I should be president (because they don't read either).
-TS

*I didn't actually check to see if this was conservative propaganda... but it has a forward by Glenn Beck, so I would probably wager my life that it is.

PS: Bill O'Reilly's biography is four stars... that's crap. I don't care how well-written it might be, the subject matter is crap (looking at the person he is today, I'm pretty sure I don't want to read about his childhood). Remember- you don't have to read it to judge it.

PSS: I'm currently reading (while doing other things, mind you (like listening to death metal, a perfectly valid liberal past time)) Stephen Colbert's book, so this might sound like a parody.

I Hate Slipknot

2009-07-01T21:11:00.000-07:00

I don't really know why I called the post that, but I did. I guess I don't really hate Slipknot... just most of their music. And fans (except for Mars... I don't hate her). But I digress.

I was listening to the song "Rock and Roll All Night" by Kiss earlier. For some reason I picked the live version. The first thing I noticed was that they were oddly motivational and nice:

Transcript: "Y'all having a good time tonight! Y'all feel important tonight, 'cause you are very important.Want y'all to know we love ya, we celebrate ya, we are proud to share this great country with ya, and no matter how tough times may get, y'all gotta take a little time to ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND PARTY EVERYDAY!"

That struck me as odd. In my experience, rock and metal bands aren't supposed to be nice. At least, none of the ones I know of (the ones that claim to be hardcore, at least). Then I remembered a conversation I had with Mars a few weeks ago after she'd went to a Slipknot concert. She'd told me the things Slipknot had said to their fans (apparently "maggots" was a term of endearment... okay). So I looked up a video to demonstrate this. Unfortunately, I couldn't find one with all of the things she told me:

Transcript: "Now let's get it the fuck on, this song is called "Before I Forget." Here we are. I wanna see twenty thousand *censored censored censored something that's probably "in the air" censored*."

Side rant: The only reason I had to type "censored" was because I honestly couldn't understand what the fuck they were saying through the beeps. I hate when people censor things in videos that poorly.

While i don't really care that Slipknot says "fuck" a lot, probably using it "endearingly," it still makes me wonder... what's the point? I mean, KISS was pumping up the audience by complimenting them and boosting their egos... Slipknot pumped the audience up by cursing. Either way, of course, people probably were pummeled in mosh pits :)

It makes me miss the good ole days, when most rock and roll songs were about how great rock and roll was and how fucked up war was and all that. Now they're about... well, from what I can tell it's a healthy mix of whining about the government (which is fair game, I suppose) and whining about the pains of living in a developed "first world" country and shitting hundred dollar bills.

Not that I'm judging anyone, of course. And there are bands I like out there. And if you like Slipknot, that's fine. I'm not going to judge your character based on the fact that you like to watch grown men run around with masks on playing with lights (to be fair, though, KISS's make up was equally retarded... but they were first).

Peace out.

This is why I should be president (because I would actually follow the Bill of Rights

-TS

I Hate Being Homeless

2009-05-26T09:02:00.000-07:00

It's a damn good thing I'm not homeless, then. Unlike Azhar, the child star of "Slumdog Millionare."

Link Here

Why is it that this child starred in an Oscar winning film, yet hes homeless now? Now, I undetsand that they didn't exactly pay him Brad Pitt's salary when it came to starring in the film, but how in the world could people let this happen? A penniless child star in America would never fly!

Oh wait...

As Christian Bale would say, "THINK for one fucking second!" Is this really what America's overconsumption has led to? I'm in no position to lecture anyone, but I'm pretty sure Americans need to open their eyes.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Love Bills

2009-05-19T14:02:00.000-07:00

As in, those passed by Congress to look pretty. Like this one:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/20/us/politics/20web-credit.html?_r=1&nl=pol&emc=pola1

I think this bill wins the award for "Bill-which-undermines-the-American-people's-sense-of-responsibility."

It's like the government is saying, "Okay... we've given you people enough time to realize that you shouldn't abuse credit cards, and you haven't learned your lesson. Since you're too dumb to understand, we'll do it for you."

And I love the language they use:

"We stood up for consumers and stood up to abusive credit card companies."-
Harry Reid

Translation:

Consumers=helpless geek at school

Credit card companies=playground bully

Harry Reid=Superman

“Any effort to restore confidence in our economy must start not on Wall Street but in Main Street, and that’s what the credit card situation is all about."- Harry Reid

Translation: Average Americans are the imbeciles who started this, so we have to clean up their mess.

And, basically, they're right. The credit card companies might be preying on consumers, but consumers are easy prey.

Among other things, the Senate measure would prohibit companies from
raising interest rates on existing balances unless a card holder was 60 days
behind, and then it would require the rate to be restored to its previous level
if payments were on time for six months. Consumers would have to be notified of
rate increases 45 days in advance. And companies could not charge a late fee if
they were late processing a payment.

Statements would have to be mailed 21 days before a payment was due. It
would be harder for companies to issue cards to people under age 21. Rates could
not be increased within the first year, and promotional rates would be in force
for at least six months.

This all sounds like a good idea, right? And maybe it'll help a few people. But the one thing this bill ignores is Americans' decision-making abilities, which tend to be pretty poor. Because no matter how much reform the government does, it's still easier for people to charge it than save.

This is why I should be president.

-TS

2009-05-06T19:45:00.000-07:00

It's almost that time again. Top Model LIVE BLOG OMGZ. Fuck yeah. Here's my prediction for the callout:

Teyona
Allison
Aminat

OR

Allison
Teyona
Aminat

I'm sorry to say that I won't tolerate my favorite girl leaving like I did last time. I'll turn the TV off and find something better to do if Allison isn't in the final 2. I know, that is SO dreadful! My nonexistent readers must be crying a river by now! (Not like Teyona, seriously, wtf kind of breakdown was that?! Somebody get Fo...)

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Hate Top Model

2009-05-04T16:41:00.000-07:00

Crawling?

Crawling?

CRAWLING?!

CRAWLING?!!?!?!!

Please, Tyra. PLEASE tell me this cycle's final runway does NOT involve crawling.

Also, tell me Allison makes it to the final two and rocks it over Teyona. Please?

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Hate Pigs

2009-04-29T19:27:00.000-07:00

I remember something about a certain pandemic that could kill us all.

The world certainly could use some good population control right now. Lol... "swine flu." DAMN YOU MOTHER NATURE! Leave us alone! You've already cursed our cows and birds, and now you want to take away our pork, too?!

You'll get what's coming to you, Mother Nature. Like overpopulation and global warming. Oh shi--... :o

Anyways, since there's only 4 girls left on Top Model, I'll evaluate them.

Teyona: She'll obviously win. I hate that she's so perfect. I don't want yet another girl that was never in the bottom two. In fact, she's never even been close.

Aminat: I really wish she'd pull it together. I don't understand why they keep her around. I WANT to like her...

Allison: OK, so her walk needs some work, which lets me believe she won't make it to the final 2. I at least hope she gets a chance to do a Covergirl shoot. I'd LOVE to see her do the most commercial shoot of the season.

Celia: Really, really wanted her to go home over Fo. Covergirl would drop her in a heartbeat because of her age. Not that I condone that (Celia's beautiful), but I do wish they kept Fo around, despite the fact that NONE of the designers booked her.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Love Papers

2009-04-25T15:25:00.000-07:00

There's nothing like locking yourself up in a room to finish up your history paper, feeding yourself with only a chocolate McDonald's milkshake, and your only company being a puppy sleeping soundly on your bed.

Also, the air conditioning's broke, and you've got nothing interesting to write in your blog.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Love Idiots

2009-04-19T13:18:00.000-07:00

They make my job so much easier. I mean, who can watch this video and not support gay rights?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9d38EoQ9pg

I really have nothing to say about this... it speaks for itself.

-TS

I Love Ads

2009-04-18T07:34:00.000-07:00

This level of fail totally makes up for the "Is Your Man Gay" Ad. I swear to God I saw this actually advertised on a website... today.

Oh, yes. America really is THAT hopeless.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Hate My Memory

2009-04-16T21:01:00.001-07:00

Because it sucks. I completely forgot that tomorrow is the Day of Silence. So I haven't talked to any of my teachers to get permission, and I haven't prepared myself mentally (I love to talk...). Luckily, I just went on Facebook and saw that one of my friends posted something about it, so I remembered. Now at least I won't go into the GSA meeting tomorrow with NO IDEA what's going on.

Sometimes being a senior sucks.

But not really :)

This is why I should be president (or not...?)
-TS

Christianity Hates Me

2009-04-12T20:45:00.000-07:00

I was on the "People You May Know" thing on Facebook. I deleted a few people, and their picture went away. But when I tried to delete the icon for "I'm proud to be a Christian" and "The Bible"... they didn't:

Note that the test beside these icons is missing, but their pictures are still there.

Do you think this is god's way of telling me I'm going to hell? I mean, it is easter...

-TS

Aria-Elise

2009-04-11T21:39:00.000-07:00

I didn't give this post a real name because it's not a real post. I'm just posting pictures of my new laptop (named Aria-Elise by Pan :) Here you go (don't ask about the washclothes...):

-TS

I Hate The Movies

2009-04-11T17:04:00.000-07:00

You know something is wrong when they don't ask for ID at the ticket counter, though you've bought a ticket for a rated 'R' movie, but the guy who rips up your tickets later asks for it even though that's NOT part of his job, sends you to the guest service counter even though you've got a perfectly acceptable form of identification to prove that, yes, you are 17+ years old. On top of which, your friend forgets her ID at home, and now you've got to sneak an 18 year old into the movie...

WTF is wrong with America?

By the way, Rotten Tomatoes dot com, thanks for you #1, most annoying movie-goer: The Cell Phone Bitch. Emphasis on the word "bitch."

Um... fuck you. Plenty of men leave their cell phones on in the theatre. In fact, I've had MORE encounters with men leaving their phones on than with women. So I'm going to counter your sexism with more name calling. From now on, the dude that leaves his phone on in the theatre is known as "The Cell Phone Dickhead."

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Love Marriage

2009-04-09T08:00:00.000-07:00

Specifically, traditional man-on-woman marriage. I watched this video on the dangers of same-sex marriage, and now I'm convinced!

http://www.nationformarriage.org/site/c.omL2KeN0LzH/b.5075663/k.A89C/Religious_Liberty.htm

I mean, it's obvious how same-sex marriage will destroy the sanctity of Britney Spears's 72-hour just-for-fun marriage.

Seriously, though, I didn't believe this video was real when I first watched it. Then, I realized that people actually think like this. So, enjoy, and don't laugh too hard at this overdramatized piece of shit.

This is why I should be president.
-TS

I Hate My School

2009-04-08T08:35:00.000-07:00

You heard about Iowa and Vermont legalizing gay marriage, right? Well, my lovely principle Major Douchebag** decided that he needed to make up for that. So he denied our request to observe the day of silence on April 17. By our, I am referring to S.T.R.I.D.E., the GSA (even though we aren't allowed to call it that) at my school.

This isn't the first homophobic act he has committed. Last year, we had to fight like hell to even start the GSA. Major Douchebag said no, our superintendent said no, and it took a protest and an article in the Newspaper to force them to allow it. Still, they refused to let us call it a GSA, so now the club is promoting genera; "tolerance."

Another example (although he wasn't directly involved in this one): Last year, Alice* was elected to an officer position in the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA). Later, she went on the radio and mentioned that she was a lesbian. Because she said this, the sponsor of the FCA stripped her of her officer position. And Major Douchebag did nothing about it, of course.

So, basically, I can't wait to go to college and get away from this condoned homophobic shit.

This is why I should be president.
-TS

*name has been changed

**D-A-V-I-D K-N-I-E-P-C-A-M-P (I think that's how you spell it...)

I Hate Music

2009-04-06T17:48:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, Ms. Britney Spears has stirred up controversy. Again. Her new song, which, IMHO, is a tongue-in-cheek play on words, is called "If You Seek Amy." When said slurred together, it sounds like "ef-you-see-kay-me." Fuck me. I didn't notice it at first because of my habit of annunciating my 'k's. Well, parents are complaining because if children listen to this song, it will apparently rape their innocence to death. Even though if someone under the age of... let's go with 10-11, understands the meaning of the pun, they weren't that innocent to begin with. To experiment, I had my little sister listen to it to see if she'd get the pun.

Me: Did you like the song?
Sister Thing: Yes, it's catchy.
Me: Did you understand the meaning of the song?
Sister Thing: She's looking for another girl at a party.

Her childhood naivety and innocence are gone. What have I done?!?!?!

I guess what I don't understand is that why parents are so concerned about a hidden meaning that children probably wont find when there are many more demeaning songs towards women that are a lot more obvious. I'll only use examples that have played on the radio to be fair.

Chorus to Li'l Wayne's "Lollipop":
She she lick me like a lollipop (lollipop)
She she lick me like a lollipop (lollipop)
She she lick me like a lollipop (yeah)
She she lick me like a lollipop
Shawty wanna thug
Bottles in the club
Shawty wanna hump
Ya know I like to touch ya lovely lady lumps
( Repeat 2x )

Chorus to Ying Yang Twins' "Saltshaker":
Shawty crunk on the floor wide open
Skeet so much they call her Billy Ocean
Roll like an eighteen wheeler
That ho fine but this ho killer
She leakin, she's soakin' wet
She leakin, soakin' wet
Shake it like a salt shaker (shake it like a salt shaker)
Shake it like a salt shaker (shake it like a salt shaker)

And my personal favorite, Chorus to Eminem and Nate Dogg's "Shake That Ass":
Shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
C'mon girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Oh girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
C'mon girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
We bout' to have a party (turn the music up)
Let's get it started (go ahead shake your butt)
I'm looking for a girl with a body and a sexy strut
Wanna get it poppin baby step right up
Some girls they act retarded
Some girls are bout it bout it
I'm looking for a girl that will do whatever the fuck
I say everyday she be giving it up.

Mmmm. Misogyny. A dish best served hot.

Now, here's the lyrics to "If You Seek Amy."
Love me hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy
Love me hate me
But can't you see what I see
All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy

I'm going to make a new song one day, and the chorus will be something like "I walk into the bar/All the boys are just objects/My toys to play with for the night."

I'm clever as shit.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Hate Twilight Some More

2009-03-27T15:46:00.000-07:00

So, there I was, trying to make myself feel better by reading stuff on FMyLife.com. I happen to come across a Twilight-based FML.

The Horror!

In a nutshell, this dude's girlfriend dumped him because he wasn't enough like Edward. If that wasn't bad enough, many posters actually vouch for Edward! (Though many others do say she needs a reality check).

This is why I need to barf on crazy Twilight fans.

-BJ

I Hate Abstinence

2009-03-25T15:33:00.000-07:00

Lorenzo: Gosh, Angelita, I'm really turned on by your womanly curves right now.

Angelita: (takes off her bra) Wow. I feel super excited! Let's have sex!

Lorenzo: Alrighty!

(They get naked and take off all of their clothes. Both are really turned on.)

Lorenzo: Darn... I don't have a condom.

Angelita: Shucks.

(Both sigh)

Angelita: Wait! In sex ed we learned that condoms fail forty percent of the time anyway, which is close to fifty. So we might as well not use one, right?

Lorenzo: You betcha!

(Have sex. Lorenzo gets herpes. The End.)

This is why I should be president (and not a playwright)
-TS

PS: By "I Hate Abstinence," I mean "I Hate the Abstinence Only Movement"... but that was too long.

PSS: Yes, people really do talk like that. At least, if it's a rerun of Leave it to Beaver.

I Hate Makeovers

2009-03-17T17:12:00.000-07:00

I've never actually individually rated the Top Model makeovers, but I thought since I got a new cut of my own, I'd take another peak at the girls of cycle 12. Besides, someone has to keep you distracted while TS comes up with a more intelligent blog. I'm only going to comment on a few makeovers, but I'll take requests in the comment section.

EDIT: 'Kay, our blog is being retarded, so you actually have to click to see the makeover. And, yes, I am aware that I could easily crop out the 'before' photo is a few sessions of paint, but I'd rather have the before photos there.

Best Makeover

I lost a bit of my love for Fo this week. Her makeover was the best, setting her apart from the rest of the pack. She looks way more model-y and a little less like the hot chick walkin' down the street.

Worst Makeover
She looks like a man in this picture. I'm not just saying that just because Sandra's my least favorite contestant. Hell, nobody deserves this sort of atrocity done to their hair. :o They should have just shaved it, or given her an edgy moe hawk, Naima Cycle 4 style. This mess? Tyra, wtf were you thinking?

I WAS RIGHT,RITE??!!
I called the platinum blonde weave! I must say, though, it suits her a lot better than I expected it to. And Allison hasn't trashed her appearance or anything yet, so the high-fashion girl of this cycle is really starting to grow on me. (Still want Fo to win, though. -crosses fingers-) Huh... she's got a lovely face-on shot goin' there.

Who the heck is that?
I must say, I'm liking this new look on London. She stands out more and the bright blonde makes her blue eyes pop. Seriously, I don't even recognize her! =o

A Step Up
This is a much better look for Tahlia. She's 18, but in the first picture she looks... not 18. After makeovers, she looks fresher, more versatile, and more confident. Rock those Beyonce curls, Tahlia!

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Hate Paris Hilton

2009-03-14T08:11:00.000-07:00

I know dissing on Paris Hilton is so three years ago, but this is different. I'm not saying I hate Paris Hilton because she's a famous whore. No, this time I hate her because she's INFILTRATING OUR MALL! BJ's mom just read in the newspaper that PH will be at our mall today, which ruins our plans of going there!!! We were going to get orange chicken and go to Rue 21, but no, the universe can't allow that. Fuck.

This is why I should be President.
-TS and BJ

I Hate Purity

2009-03-11T15:50:00.000-07:00

I feel it's only appropriate to write this blog, seeing as the new South Park episode tonight deals with the subject of Purity Rings, and the Jonas Brothers. I'd also like the read and review "The Purity Myth," by Jessica Valenti. (aka, possibly the coolest feminist in the entire world.)

My 'humble' opinion: Purity rings don't work. In fact, they make the situation worse.

I totally support anyone who waits for marriage. However, this is not because I support waiting for marriage. I support waiting until you're ready to have sex, married or no. If you think you're ready, nobody can stop you.

People who wear purity rings, and end up having sex anyways are most likely not ready because, since they have not been thinking of sex, they most likely they have not been thinking of contraception. Just sayin'. Also, if we take a look at www.purityrings.com, it's VERY religious-based. (Is that a word? No? Oh well.) Sorry, but I'm starting to sense some subtle and not-so-subtle slut shaming.

You took a pledge? Awesome for you, and I hope you can keep it. But don't look down on those who haven't.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

PS- Hey, TS! I'm picking up your slack! Write a more intelligent blog, quickly, before our non-existent readers head for the hills! D= (j/k, I adore you.)

I HateTaboo Shit

2009-03-10T18:12:00.000-07:00

Seriously, why must people suffer so that they can please society? For example, if your crotch itches, you've got to suck it up and wait until a bathroom break, despite the fact that there should be no problem, as long as you're not sticking your hands down your underpants. If you scratch on the outside of your pants, people shouldn't be so freaked out.

OK, that might be crossing the line, but what I really wanted to talk about was wedgies. When you're in public and you get a wedgie, you have to suffer until you think you can subtly pull it out. If it happens to everyone, why is it so shameful? Also, I know it hurts when a guy's pubic hair gets caught on the boxers, but they must also suffer until they are able to pull it off without anyone judging them.

Maybe the human race should stop being so uptight.

Also, I heard our new President lifted a ban on embryonic stem cell research or something like that. ;)

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Love Rush Limbaugh

2009-03-09T05:57:00.000-07:00

No, really, I do! He says such wise things about the progressive movements that are obviously the downfall of society. His criticism of feminism has made me see the light. Before, I actually used to have ideals and beliefs that women were not treated with the same respect as men. Now, looking back, I find it to be very silly of me to ever have thought that women were ever discriminated in the workplace, frequently domestically abused (most unable to escape the situation and desert their abusive spouse? Nonsense!), or that the number of rape victims has drastically increased, even in prisons. And that the punishment for rape is one of the least severe in our society.

WTF was I thinking?! Phew, I'm so glad an intelligent man such as Rush Limbaugh showed me the way, telling me that I'm just an ugly woman trying to find my place in society! Now that I've seen the true motivation behind feminism, I no longer have ambitions to be a strong woman who puts herself through college to find a decent career. Instead, I'm going to devote my soul to the men in my life no matter what! All you FemiNazis just need to chill out and stop fighting for your rights. Take yourself and your liberal feminist agenda and GTFO! Like your silly progressive movements will ever accomplish anything in society.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

PS- I think I just died a little inside.

I Hate Tyra

2009-03-04T20:10:00.000-08:00

Whoot! I managed to nab the 100th post! Take that, TS! Uh... j/k. I adore you. Anyways, moving onto the blog:

Fuck. Fuck, fuck fuck. Yes, Tyra. You and your panel reached a decision; a terrible one, at that. But, of course we can't send the bitch of the house home just yet. It's only the first episode, and that would make this cycle too peaceful! [/mock] So, my new thoughts on all of the girls. Now is my time to scrutinize. -devilish grin-

Jessica- "Nobody has ever told me I'm ugly." Yeah, that doesn't make you a model, sweetcheeks. Confidence will only get you so far if you can't take a picture that pleases the judges.

Kortnie-Like her a LOT more on camera, though she's a bit reminiscent of Caridee (albeit, a brunette version). Her walk's alright, and her body's slammin', so I hope she goes to final 5.

London- Surprisingly not the bitch of the cycle as I intended, but , in fact, the pacifist. She's cool enough, but I'm not too insanely attached to her.

Natalie- Barely remembered her, at ALL. Totally quiet, with a barely-there personality. Hopefully, she steps it up a notch.

Nijah- Also don't remember her much, except that her skin was gorgeous when she walked in her swimsuit. Maybe she'll step it up a bit, as well. =)

Sandra- Fuck you, bitch, gtfo, and stop terrorizing everyone else in the house. It's one thing to be confident, another to be outright mean. Seriously, I'm so sick of your fucking attitude, and I'm sure many viewers agree with me.

Tahlia- She's 18? Well, I won't get into that again, and as admirable as I feel Tahlia is, the effect of your burns goes away if you mention it every 3 seconds. (Think blind Amanda from cycle 3)

Teyona- Not as pretty on camera, but I still like her. She hasn't done anything to make me angry and her picture was decent. Definite potential in her.

Allison- Who called it?! Yup, that right, the insanely smart BJ hit the nail on the head with this one. They even called her first for a confidence boost. She is the high-fashion girl with nothing else to give, and will probably fail commercials, thus forcing the judges to send her home.

Aminat- She is very pretty, but, as the judges said, very one-note. If she can give a softer face, than I'll get more attached. Actually, looking back, she reminds me of Stacey-Ann.

Celia- Good picture, weird chin, nice enough girl, but I'm just not feeling her. Perhaps it;s just me.

Fo- A talented top model with freckles? Thank you Tyra. Can this cycle get any better? Oh yeah, if Sandra had gone home.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Hate Ads

2009-02-28T07:37:00.000-08:00

Google sponsers some of the weirdest shit. I'll TRY to write this without going into the whole "Twilight vs. Harry Potter" ads. (Even though Harry Potter is obviously superior... duh.)

I came across this little jewel.

Is he? Does he ever compliment your blouse, and actually call it a blouse? Does he know fashion lines? Will he tolerate a Top Model marathon with you? Does he help you pick out your outfit for special occasions? Does he -gasp- actually take care of himself?! Comb his hair and everything? Clip his nails, and actually care what he looks like in public?

Gay. Your man is gay.

Don't even get me started on the weight loss blogs. As a female internet user, I must hate my body.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Hate Weight

2009-02-27T21:44:00.000-08:00

Dear Radio Announcer:

Why do you feel the need to mention Kelly Clarkson's weight every time her song plays? Seriously, do you ever listen to your broadcasts before you head home for the night? Listen to all the comments you make about Kelly Clarkson's weight, and saying something such as "That was the pleasantly plump Kelly Clarkson with..."

Please, just tell me why. I mean you never say anything like "That was the incredibly bitter and sexist Eminem." No, it's always something about Kelly Clarkson or Britney Spears.

It would be great if you could refrain from these childish comments, and just say that it's Kelly Clarkson's new song, without mentioning her weight. K?

Love,

-BJ

PS- You suck and I hate you.

I Love Greeks

2009-02-22T08:04:00.000-08:00

One of my friends, we'll call her GW, goes to a Greek orthodox church. Apparently, one day in Sunday school they talked about a movie called The Silent Scream, which argues that a fetus can feel pain. For evidence, according to GW (I've never seen the film), images of an 11-week old fetus during an abortion were shown, and the fetus's mouth looked like it was screaming (hence the title). At the time of my discussion with GW, I had no evidence with which to refute this claim.

But now I do!

In an article published in the Journal of the American Medical Association(1), researchers concluded that

Pain is an emotional and psychological experience that requires conscious
recognition of a noxious stimulus. Consequently, the capacity for conscious
perception of pain can arise only after
thalamocortical pathways begin to
function, which may occur in the third trimester around 29 to 30 weeks’
gestational age, based on the limited data available.

So, basically, it is kind of impossible for a fetus to feel pain until the third trimester (as a general rule, of course). Argue with that.

This is why I should be President.
-TS

PS: I think I should win a prize for a title which has almost nothing to do with the post :)

1)Lee, Susan J., Ralston, Henry J. Peter, Drey, Eleanor A., Partridge, John Colin, & Rosen, Mark A. (2005). Fetal Pain: A Systematic Multidisciplinary Review of the Evidence. Journal of the American Medical Association, 294 (8), 947-954.

PS2) Note that the source I used was published in a scientific, peer reviewed journal, and the source GW used was a video put out by Several Sources Shelters, a non-profit Christian organization *cough*biased*cough*. Just saying...

PS3) I still love you, GW!

I Hate Readers

2009-02-17T17:40:00.000-08:00

This Article is a MUST READ!

Some of these people are disgusting. I'm so sick of hearing these "Oh Rihanna must have provoked Chris Brown" comments. Luckily, a few sane people are quick to say that Brown was, in fact, in the wrong when he attacked Rihanna.

The fact of the matter is, Rihanna was covered in bruises, and Brown was hiding in the back of a vehicle with a blanket over his head. Even if she said something to provoke him, what he did (if he did it, which I'm going to assume for the blog's purposes) was unacceptable. Now, if she hit him, I'm not saying he shouldn't have acted in self-defense, but considering that she suffered "a swollen split lip and two red and purple contusions on either side of her forehead", this was not self defense. Let's also take into consideration that reports state that Brown fled the scene.

In that same article above ("fled the scene") his cousin defends him, insisting that he was not brought up to beat a woman, and again uses the "she must have provoked him" BS excuse. Ah, let's not forget that his mother suffered domestic abuse at the hands of his stepfather.

I am a fan of Chris Brown. I like his music, and I think he's pretty fortunate looking. However, this should not and WILL not be used as an excuse to stand by him, and shame on those who do.

Rihanna, get well soon. Chris Brown, get a fucking counselor.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

PS- I was supposed to do an abstinence blog, but I'll get on that tomorrow. I'm gonna go run.

I Love Top Model

2009-02-10T17:17:00.000-08:00

Despite my irks with Tyra last season about choosing McKey over Analeigh, I can't keep away from my guilty pleasures for long. I looked up the contestants for Cycle 12, since Barack "Magical Miracle Black Man of Equality" Obama is now Pres, and politics have taken a back seat (though I'm sure one of us might do a blog about the bailout).

Anyways, here are the contestants. I'll say what I think and what I think should be done to them at makeovers.

Isabella- At first glance, I was hesitant, but the more I look, the more I like her. Give her a frayed, edgy short hair cut or dye it dark red (think Adrianne Curry) and then put her in a photo. However, she does have the same name as the main character in book-that-shall-not-be-named.

Jessica- I'm not sure. She looks like Jaslene with a rounder face. She'd have to prove herself in a photo. She needs a honey brown dye job or caramel highlights.

Kortine-I don't think she'll go very far, so expect her in the final three =P... Don't care much for her outfit, though I may just steal those boots. Should she make it to makeovers, I expect a lot more volume and perhaps some lowlights.

London- Not to jump to conclusions, but she looks like she just might be the bitch of the cycle at first glance. Not very modelesque, more like adorable. I'd like her to go very light blonde.

Natalie- That shirt does not do her justice at ALL... love her legs, though. She'll probably go light with layers added.

Nijah- This picture is very "Modeling 101." For her makeover, I'd suggest a long weave to to the middle of her back.

Sandra- I'm not too sure... she looks like a catalog model. They'll do the obvious and shave the rest of her hair off, probably.

Tahlia- WTF is up with that mom sweater?? Seriously, though she just looks so much like a mom in another catalog ad. They probably add more curls and waves in a same colored weave.

Teyona- By far, has the most beautiful skin... in her face. Why is the rest of her body lighter than her face? Anyways, for her, I want a long, dark, straight weave with a bold bang. Think Bre from cycle 5 mixed with Brittany from cycle 4.

Allison- Uh-oh. She looks like she gonna be the high fashion girl with very little confidence. (Shandi, cycle 2, Lauren, cycle 10, Marjorie, cycle 11, etc). They should pull a Shandi with this one and give her platinum blonde with big curls.

Aminat- She got the street beauty, but does she have the model beauty? We'll find out. Tyra likes afros, so she'll probably keep it.

Celia- Much too "mall' pretty. She reminds me of Whitney with the blonde weave. She should get a stylish asymmetrical bob.

Fo- Again, "street" pretty, but not sure about model pretty. Maybe she should get a bob... well, I'm rooting for a short haircut for her. Some fringy layers would do her good.

Tell me what you think of the models.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

Stephen King Hates Twilight

2009-02-05T19:15:00.000-08:00

For real!!! Stephen King, whom I adore, hates You-Know-What (... I know I just said it...) Check out his interview:

http://blogs.usaweekend.com/whos_news/2009/02/exclusive-steph.html

He says:
"...The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good."

I haven't been through all of the comments, but the first one made me crack up. In it, a 24 year old college graduate disses King:

"King is demented and once he quits writing his books will fade away. I don't see any lit teachers doing a section on him in the future.
I'm am 24, female, with a college degree and I loved the twilight books."

Because Twilight will definitely be discussed by lit teachers... and that will be the day that my children shall be homeschooled.

Stephen King has more talent in the proton on the nucleus of the smallest cell on his pinky than Stephenie Meyer has, or could dream of having, in her whole body (not an exaggeration).

This is why I should be president.
-TS

I Love Puppies

2009-01-27T09:58:00.000-08:00

So, one of my parentals just got a job that pays lots of cash.

Which means, come spring tie, we'll build a fence.

Which means, come summer time, we'll get a puppy. And who doesn't love puppies?

I'll tell you who: Ann Coulter.

ANN COULTER HATES PUPPIES. D= From now on, this will be my new meditation mantra. "Ann. Coulter. Hates. Puppies."

But I don't.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Hate Taylor Swift

2009-01-26T14:17:00.000-08:00

Fuck Taylor Swift.

I swear to Gods if I have to listen to "Love Story" on the radio one more time...

I'm going to burst into little bloody pieces all over my bedroom.

That is all.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Still Hate Twilight

2009-01-25T10:17:00.000-08:00

So, TS and I are trying to look up a book on Amazon that begins with the word "the" and the letter "t".

The moment we typed in the letter "t", THIS god awful mess appeared.

BTW, the WTF and red marks were originally on there. We soooo did not add them in Paint. As an icon (also saved onto my computer) once said:

"Twilight makes me weep for the future of literature."

This is why I should be President.

-TS & BJ

I Hate Procrastination

2009-01-23T14:27:00.000-08:00

And yet, I am one of hundreds of procrastination queens.

Expect a review of InkHeart later. TS and I are having a girls night out. Or as Miley "Can't learn my lesson and I still keep taking risque pictures: Cyrus calls it: the GNO.

-Insert Review Here- In about 4 hours. ;P

I Hate Freaks

2009-01-22T14:33:00.000-08:00

Happy 36th anniversary of Roe v. Wade!!! I can almost ignore freaks like this:

http://www.startribune.com/local/38140094.html

-TS

I Love Inaugurations

2009-01-20T16:54:00.000-08:00

Especially when it's happening to a Democrat.

And wasn't I SOOOO totally right? Who else watched Obama's speech and saw rainbows and sparkles in the background? At one point, I'm pretty sure I saw a unicorn flitting through the crowd.

Even though a unicorn would probably have trouble flitting through a crowd of about 4 million people. (No joke.)

"Hey, is that a unicorn?"

"Shut the hell up! Obama's talking!"

The African-Americans celebrating at the inauguration with us were extremely happy and inspired, though, being the naive white girl I am, it WAS a bit frustrating knowing that most of them didn't care at all about his political views.

So, much to the dismay of my wonderful sponser, I did an improv speech encouraging them to join Young Democrats.

Jackasses forever!

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Hate Double Standards

2009-01-12T05:22:00.000-08:00

I don't have time this morning, so somebody PLEASE remind me to rant about this article later:

Article Here

In the first paragraph, the article talks about "Closet Space."

"It's okay to stash emergency tampons in your man's medicine cabinet. But if you start staking out his closet, he'll feel like it's a full-scale space invasion. Take it from Reggie, 29: 'The commute to my girl's office is easier for her from my apartment, so she started staying over during the week," he explains. "The arrangement was cool until she began to keep more and more stuff at my place. Before I knew it, her dry cleaning was taking up half my closet. I said she could leave a few things, not move in!' "

Now, that, I am OK with. This is a common courtesy thing that everyone needs to respect. It's like if I go to TS's house every once in a while, but start going so often that I decide to keep my bird, fish, and computer (the latter, she probably wouldn't mind) at her house. Then, I started leaving all of my school outfits there and underwear and the like got mixed up.

Yuck. Next subject.

For a while, I didn't really think too much on the second one. Then, I got around to actually digesting it, and realized how much it pissed me off:

"I dated a girl who straightened my apartment every time she came over," he says. "The day she headed toward my bedroom with a vacuum and dust rag, I had flashbacks of my mother pulling my porn stash from underneath my unmade bed when I was 15. Not a good visual!"

Seriously?! Your girlfriend is fucking cleaning up after you and all you can think about is your mom?! There's another comment in parenthesis about a French maid costume which I won't post here. You're lucky she's cleaning up and not nagging you 24/7 about your fucking pig sty. What a load of bull.

And besides, if you're stupid enough to hide pornography in a place so obvious as under the bed, you deserve to have someone come in and find it. For that matter, you're lucky your mom even cleaned up after you, you dumb swine.

The third one is disgusting. Who the fuck would ever want to use their boyfriend's toothbrush? An icky person. Bleh. No further comments.

The last one (about the remote) really just kind of baffles me. Men can't share the TV every once in a while because if we rule the TV, we start to take over everything? That's pretty sad. If you can take over the television on Super Bowl Sunday, then I at least deserve a day of "Top Model" should a marathon be running that day.

Edit: TS here. I have to quote this to get the full effect across:
"Guys are more than willing to hand over the reins when it comes to many things. For instance, feel free to take control in the sack."

Oh. My. God. OK, so it's fine for a girl to be in control only when it's sexy for the guy. Screw that.

This is why I should be president.
-TS and BJ

I Still Love Movies

2009-01-05T17:23:00.000-08:00

In case you will be needing to occupy yourself for a while, here's a list of my favorite movies. Features an array of different genres, but there are a few animated films

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: By far, the BEST adaptation movie since "To Kill a Mockingbird." The inaccuracies are so few and far between, you don't notice. Not to mention, isn't the HP trio just the cutest little bunch of ten year olds you've ever seen in your life? Harry's face when he first witnesses magic is adorable, and it has a certain charm and naivety the later movies lack. (Though I also love 'Chamber of Secrets')

Beauty and the Beast: This movie is irresistible. The songs are fun, the animation is beautiful, and the characters are more 3 dimensional than they look. Definitely a better romance than 'Twilight'.

Anastasia: Though this movie doesn't exactly boast historical accuracy, it has that nice Don Bluth touch in which the characters are neatly drawn and the surroundings are breath-taking. There are a few cute musical numbers, too, most of which I memorized in fifth grade.

All Dogs Go to Heaven: Speaking of Don Bluth, this is probably his most fun movie. I adore "Secret of NIHM," but there's just something about this movie that just keeps me glued to the TV every time I watch it. When Charlie finally ascends to Heaven at the end of the film, I tear up every time.

The Plague Dogs: I just recently watched this film, but the two furry main characters stole my heart. Rowf and Snitter, the main dogs, are constantly pitted against overwhelming odds and you just want to take them home. Or perhaps not. Snitter attracts the worst luck when it comes to owners.

The Silence of the Lambs: Jodie Foster, Anthony Hopkins, and cannibalism. What's not to love? Rent it.

Scream: I just love how this movie makes fun of itself, and how the characters are aware of all the slasher movie cliches to the point of brushing against the fourth wall. I NEVER get tired of this movie, and I laugh at Stu and Gary every time.

Mean Girls: My dad said everybody's generation has a high school movie. I proudly declare this one my high school movie.

Something's Gotta Give: Probably my favorite romantic-comedy. Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton are a hilarious older couple. In ten years, I can see them rocking in chairs on the porch, Diane writing a screenplay while Jack shouts at the neighborhood kids to get the hell off the lawn.

Tell me about your favorite movies. (I looking at yooooooooouuuu, TS... lol, not really.)

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Love Colleges

2009-01-04T21:30:00.000-08:00

BJ wrote about her New Year's Resolutions, so I suppose I should write about mine. Here it goes:

1) Cut back on soda. Caffeine withdrawals SUCK!
2) Finish one of my stories (I have less motivation than BJ).
3) Stop biting my nails.

So I kind of cheated and I've already accomplished number 3... and I never said WHEN in 2009 I will accomplish 1 and 2... so I'm good the way I am for a while.

And all of this has to do with college. No, really, it does.

OK, it doesn't. You see, today I officially accepted my offer of admission to the University of Illinois-Urbana-Champaign (engineering major). Why so early? Because --get this!-- I'm also enrolled at St. Louis University right now (in a dual-credit course) until January 7, so... I'm in two colleges at once!

I think it's funny.

This is why I should be president.

-TS

I Hate New Years Resolutions

2009-01-03T19:32:00.000-08:00

HA! Nabbed the first post of 2009! Suck on that, TS!

......Just kidding.....

Anyways, during my New Year's Eve celebration, I snarfed down a TON of goodies, and if I ate like that every day, I'd probably weigh at least 250 pounds by 2010. THAT'S not a healthy spike in weight. O_o

So, here are my New Years resolutions:

Cut back on beef. In the immortal words of Chik-Fil-A, "Eat mor chiken."
Also cut back on dairy.
Support better treament of dairy cows, pigs, and chickens at the slaughterhouse. For the love of all that is holy, STOP shoving growth hormones down the throats of our hamburgers!
Donate and help charities that shelter victims of domestic abuse.
Volunteer at the humane society and look for a house-broken dog in the process.
Finish 3 stories.

And I SUPPOSE I'll try to be a "better" person and all that junk. Not. Being a hypocrite is too much fun.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

PS- I'm so excited! Barack Obama will be inaugurated on the 20th and he'll turn America into a land of magical happiness and equality. The ceremony will have rainbows and unicorns and we'll have another Progressive Era and everyone will have sparkles flying out their butts!

Happy New Year. ;P

I Love Movies

2008-12-20T19:31:00.000-08:00

Hell, yes. If not for "Princess and the Frog" and "Rapunzel" (which I will give a chance purely because it's supposed to be a ground-breaking, BYOO-TEE-FULL, flowy, CGI film and besides that, I've been saying Disney needs to do a Rapunzel movie...) Any ways, if not for them, I would have given up on Disney by now.

But hellz to the yeah. Hayao Miyazaki knows how to do things RIGHT! After a long hiatus (I believe "Howl's Moving Castle," made in early-mid 2000s was his last film) he's finally released a new animated movie that literally translates to "Ponyo on the Cliff." Read about it.

When this gets translated and shipped to the US, I will be the first to buy. Hopefully, they will spend a lot of time on the dub, and be kind enough to let this baby have a theatrical release.

I'll also be checking out Tim Burton's upcoming "FrankenWeenie" in 2009. I'm sick of all these SUCK adaptations and remakes. Seriously, people, the human mind is more creative than that! Oh, almost forgot, I'll also be going to see "Watchmen" and (like the sucker I am) will check out the re-release of "The Dark Knight" in IMAX. Seriously, there are scenes literally filmed purely for IMAX. I can't resist.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

PS- TS YOU ARE THE MOST AMAZING PERSON IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW ANIMANIACS IS HILARIOUS....

Ahem. Lost my composure. Seriously, though, you're awesome.

I Love TS

2008-12-20T13:44:00.000-08:00

As much as I love your last post, TS...

Thanks for enhancing the redeye and putting that HORRIFYING shade of pink of my BYOO-TEE-FULL BLUE -CENSORED- SWEATSHIRT!

I'll get you in your sleeeeeep.

Love,

-BJ

I Hate Twilight Fans

2008-12-19T18:10:00.001-08:00

Seriously, anybody who supports a fad which has its own shrine at Barnes and Noble...

...deserves to suffer in the freezing cold...

... while BJ and I are toasty warm inside the theatre. (These pictures are from opening night, when we went with book club to go see the movie... we rented a party room so we got in early! Poor fans... yeah right.)

This is why I should be president.
-TS

I Hate Life

2008-12-19T15:33:00.001-08:00

-Sigh- My life is spiraling into a dark abyss of nothingness and I feel as though I have no purpose...

KIDDING!!! Finished up my finals and ended the day with a slight trim to rid myself of split-ends (alright, I cut my bangs...) and a manicure. Sparkly red nails are the perfect way to end the day.

I'm leaving you with a farewell blog for Christmas as, no doubt, during the holidays, blogging will be sloooooooooow. Of course, I will encourage TS to do the same. Tomorrow and Sunday we have shifts to gift-wrap and glorious Barnes 'n' Noble, and Monday, I go for 7 days without computer. =O I'm leaving for Montana this holiday season, which TS isn't happy about.

Anyways, happy holidays to all of you!

While we're gone, enjoy some South Park!

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Love Abortion

2008-12-16T06:49:00.000-08:00

Seriously! There’s nothing like waking up on a nice, sunny Saturday morning to the promise of an early- to mid- afternoon abortion! It’s the perfect conclusion to a wonderful week of promiscuity and meaningless sex! And sometimes, in the morning before my weekly abortion, I give BJ a ring to see if she wants to go to. I mean, we’re feminists. What else would we be doing?

Instead of campaigning vigilantly for women’s rights, we spend our Saturday afternoons in the abortion clinic, barely containing our excitement. It’s so hard, you know? Waiting for the doctor to suck the fetus… sorry, I mean ‘baby’… out of you. (Sometimes, I must confess, I get pregnant purely so I can get an abortion! It’s just so much fun!)

Yes, I know that I could easily carry the baby to term,; my family would be super supportive, and my school career would turn out perfectly! But who wants that? Everywhere I go, people try to encourage me not to get abortions-- they throw birth control and contraceptives at me, begging me on Wednesday to PLEASE-FOR-THE-LOVE-OF-GOD-TAKE-THE-MORNING-AFTER-PILL!!! Once, I actually grabbed one of the condoms they threw at me, but I tossed it out, despite the superb comprehensive sex-ed program I was exposed to throughout my high school career educating me on contraceptives and such.

Fortunately, they also exposed me to abortion. And soon after, I found out that it was legal for teenagers to get abortions in my state! That, I must say, was the deciding factor for me. Armed with the knowledge that I could get an abortion, I went on a quest to become pregnant. And I did. Then, after my first abortion (which awed me with its amazingness!), I decided to make it a weekly event.

This is why I should be president.

-TS

I Love Disney

2008-12-14T11:10:00.000-08:00

OK, seriously, somebody PLEASE do something stupid so that I can make a "hate" blog.

Is Disney actually *gasp* releasing, not one, but TWO upcoming animated features featuring classic mythological princesses? I must be dreaming. Somebody pinch me. On top of that, they will be done in traditional hand-drawn style, which could possibly make a comeback after all these years of CG animation. I'm not going to say hand-drawn has more effort put in, because they're both painstaking works of art, but a new 2D movie will be refreshing.

Not including the Simpson's Movie, the last 2D feature I went to go see in the theatre was 2002's "Lilo and Stitch." That was six, soon to be seven, years ago.

Although, I WILL say that "Delgo" looks like the prettiest animated feature in a while. Perhaps I'll check that out when it's available for rent.

2009's "Princess and the Frog" will have music composed by Disney veterans, Randy Newman and Peter Del Vecho. It's written by John Musker and Ron Clements, the same people who handled a number of movies during the 1990's "Disney Renaissance." (also known as Disney's Big Business Boom) I have faith that these talented individuals will put together an enjoyable Disney film, which I will, NO DOUBT see in the theatre. (Encourage Disney's good projects, not their sequels. Companies will only produce what makes cash.)

I don't know as much about 2010's "Rapunzel," but I'm a little disappointed, as the handy-dandy Wikipedia has informed me that Rapunzel will be CG.

How weird would THAT look? A CG Rapunzel next to the other 2D animated Disney gals. I guess it could teach us something like "it's OK to be different." ;P

Ariel: Hmm... there's something about the new girl I just can't quite put my finger on.
Jasmine: She's 3 dimensional.
Belle: But, I'm regarded as a 3 dimensional character.
Tania (to frog): You're SURE it's a kiss on the lips?
Aurora: I think I've seen her once upon a dream...
Jasmine: You have dreams in three dimensions?

Feminists Everywhere: *FACEPALM*

This is why I should be President (of the Disney Company)

-BJ

I Love Music and the Holidays

2008-12-07T08:53:00.000-08:00

Ugh, there has been WAY too much love now that the 'lection's over. But I couldn't help myself. I just have to say something about the holidays and this new singer I found on youtube. Firstly, I love holiday cheer and all, but I've had to hear Christmas songs on the radio since before Halloween. What the hell? "Santa Claus is comin'-- to town!"

Yeah, in THREE MONTHS. I started to boycott that station when I heard "Silver and Gold" being played at six in the morning October 14th, followed by "Noel." WE GET IT. AT LEAST WAIT UNTIL AFTER THANKSGIVING, dumbasses.

I feel a little better with all that hate in my system.

Anyways, if you haven't heard a singer by the name of "Kerli," watch/listen to these music videos.

Walking on Air

Love Is Dead

Goodbye

If you have heard of her... too bad. I've got nothing else today.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Love America

2008-12-02T14:30:00.000-08:00

-Sigh- Ah, good ol' America.

Where we're more concerned that the vice presidential candidate is on Saturday Night Live rather than our economic depression.

Where the mentally handicapped are forced to take the same tests as those who learn at an average level.

Where we're SO concerned about smell, we'd rather use cancer-causing deodorants than just admit smelling not-that-great is just a natural part of the human body.

Where a man with larger boobs than I have can walk around shirtless, but I'd get arrested if I did the same thing.

Where the Southern States are falsely known for their hospitality.

Oh, hell yeah.

Suck on that, Europe!

*Whistles the tune to "America, Fuck Yeah!"*

This is why I should be President. (I'm patriotic! =P)

-BJ

I Hate Disney

2008-11-28T18:08:00.000-08:00

Seriously, wtf is up with this new Tinkerbell movie? They make her out to be this kind-hearted, curious, and kind of naive character when, in Disney's "Peter Pan," she's a fiery, catty, stubborn little fairy.

Dear Disney Company (if that IS the name you so choose to be called by, even if you are no longer worthy),

Thanks for slowly killing off my childhood. Now I can't even watch masterpieces like "Mulan" and "Beauty and the Beast" without thinking of their cruddy sequels.

This is why I should resurrect Walt Disney. (And be Pres.)

-BJ

I Hate Guilty Pleasures

2008-11-23T19:32:00.000-08:00

Ugh, there's too much love on this blog, lately. But I can say I hate guilty pleasures... because I feel like such a loser for like them.

Some of BJ's guilty pleasures:

Saw movies
Gossip Girl
America's Next Top Model
Fanfiction
South Park
Dance Dance Revolution
Ninja Turtles
Hatin' on Twilight and Stephenie Meyer (this one isn't actually guilty ;3)
Anime & Manga
Disney Movies
Seventeen Magazine

Well, I suppose that list could go on forever.

Not Guilty Pleasures I Recommend You Watch (most come in pairs):
Watership Down & Plague Dogs
The Daily Show & The Colbert Report
Monty Python's Flying Circus & You Are What You Eat
All Dogs Go to Heaven & The Secret of NIMH
All Videos Made By The Movie Preview Critic (if you're a movie lover)

This is why I should be President. (I encourage procrastination)

-BJ

PS- Name some of YOUR guilty pleasures. ;3

I Love Hillary Clinton

2008-11-22T07:15:00.000-08:00

Feministing.com has reported an article saying that Clinton has accepted the position of Secretary of State.

Article Here

Well, I have a couple nitpicks. I was listening to a radio station stating that Hillary should not be chosen because people in the Middle-East won't accept a woman in that high a position.

I thought to myself, "Wow, that is really sexist of him." Then I thought... "But it's true." But what about Condoleeza Rice?

And, during an episode of The Daily Show, Jon Stewart pointed out that Obama and Clinton pretty much agreed on everything... except foreign policy. Upon hearing that Hillary Clinton was chosen as Secratary of State, Jon declared: "But that's the foreign policy one!" I apologize for not being able to find the episode and link to it. =(

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Love Twilight

2008-11-21T20:14:00.000-08:00

We went into the theatre tonight with very low expectations. I mean, Antartica low. Hell low. The DIRT in Hell low. And guess what?

The movie exceeded our expectations! That's right... we actually didn't hate something related to Twilight. In fact, we enjoyed the movie. As self-professed Twilight haters, all of the crap the film makers changed from the book (which fans will despise), we liked.

So, on to specifics (spoilers ahead):

Likes:
At the beginning, the awkwardness between Bella and Charlie was portrayed very nicely, very believably.
Throughout the film, Bella keeps her friends around. She doesn't just ditch them because Edward says they're shallow. Although she's shown as a bit Mary Sue at the beginning, she quickly moves on (and so do the guys).
The scene where Edward confesses his vampirism. I know it wasn't in the book... but I thought it wa done beautifully. During the scene, the camera angles make it seem like someone is watching them, even though they're alone (I thought that was cool).
Bella has real dilogue. She sounds like a teenager (not a college graduate *cough*pemeable*). The only she used a word over four syllables was during a quote taken directly from the book... not criticize it or anything.
There was sexual tension!!! After Bella found out Edward was a vampire, there was a scene where he was an inch away from her... and the camera movd away. It was great...
THE KISS!!! It wasn't a chaste kiss, born out of fluffy meaningless crap. Before the kiss, Bella and Edward developed a relationship, and by the time they finally kissed, the sexual tension was off the charts. And the kiss was... not innocent.

James.

Dislikes:
The guy that played Mike looked compleyely star-struck by Kristen.
Rosalie. Her character was annoyingly one-dimensional... as were the rest of the Cullens. Of course, they couldn't help it- they had almost NO screentime.
While it was comical, the fight scene disturbed us. I mean, the camera was focusing on everyone swooning over Bella, while in the background Rosalie and Emmet were tearing James to shreds. That is NOT a background scene!
We understand that the ending had to be open... but the shot of Victoria at the end was overkill. Seriously.Just end it with Bella and Edward dancing.

This is why I should be president.

-TS and BJ

I Love Amazon

2008-11-20T16:27:00.000-08:00

When I clicked on "Browse Subjects" under "Books," here is what I found:

And then I clicked on it:

OK, so I must mention how "chick lit" is mentioned in the description, but there isn't a genre after you click on it. I suppose all "chick lit" falls under the given categories. And note how "friendship" is purely a female phenomenon. Because there isn't a "Men's Fiction" section, I'm assuming that males do not form friendships, or have brothers, or have children, or get divorced, or have 'domestic lives.'

I'm not going to dis amazon, I jut found this amusing.

This is why I should be president.

-TS

PS: Look closely at the subcategories under "horror." And let your imagination go wild.

I Love Reproductive Rights

2008-11-20T14:26:00.000-08:00

I consider myself to be feminist, mostly when it comes down to reproductive rights. I believe abortion and birth control should be available to all women after they receive their period and go through puberty. Many pro-lifers (IMHO) see abortion as this awful method of birth control used so that the "slut" that became pregnant can suck the fetus out of her body and never have to experience the consequences of pregnancy.

Has it ever occurred to these people that abortion has its own set of consequences?

1. Emotional and mental trauma
2. Damaging reproductive organs
3. Abortions not done by a professional may result in a "botched" abortion, ultimately killing the female herself.

Making abortions illegal will likely make threat #3 the most overwhelming of them all. Desperate women will likely do back-alley abortions done by phony doctors. Bertha Burgarin was recently arrested for exploiting Hispanic women and overcharging them, only to hospitalize many of them, and damage the fetus more than it would have been in a safe, easy to access hospital. Many Hispanic women are forbidden from abortion because of their religion. See how far a desperate woman will go?

As informative as the article is, it also attempts to show an example of a botched abortion and use it against pro-choice activists. Should abortion become illegal, the operation will likely no longer be taught to doctors, making the procedure more dangerous. So, in theory, this is actually an argument that could be used in FAVOR of pro-choice.

I write this blog instead of my in-depth review of Top Model and South Park because of the midnight bill about to be passed by the Bush administation. According to Birth Control Watch (I'm starting to sound like a friggin' research paper... we'll have to fix that) the regulations were passed on the anniversary of the passing of the 19th amendement, when women gained the right to vote. What the hell? Birth Control Watch states:

78% of voters agree that for women to achieve equality, they must have access to birth control including 72% of regular church goers and 83% of swing/independents.

Without the right to control their bodies (men are covered, because many insurance companies will pay for viagra, but not birth control) a woman's priorities are below that of the fetus that she is carrying INSIDE OF HER BODY!!! People seem to forget that birth control is actually intended for married couples who can't afford surgery to stop babies from happening. It's not all about horny teenagers who just want it so they can freely have sex whenever they'd like.

And that's just it. A majority of teenagers going through puberty have this raging army of hormones inside of them. This means that abstinence, though effective, will NOT work for everyone. Not all teenagers are horny, but many are curious, and it only takes one time.

Are you telling me that she has to go through with the pregnancy because she didn't have easy access to birth control?

I don't accept it.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Love Top Model

2008-11-19T19:00:00.000-08:00

Sigh. Another season gone by. Another cycle finished.

I like McKey a LOT, and think she will make a great Top Model. I hope Annaleigh and Samantha continue to book jobs without the help of Tyra.

South Park is on and very hilarious, so I will post final comments soon. Very soon.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Kind of Love Top Model

2008-11-19T18:51:00.000-08:00

Looking at it now, at an objective point of view, I actually quite like that the two HEALTHY AND ATHLETIC girls managed to make it to the finish.

I know TS will disagree whole-heartedly with me on this, but I've grown attached to Samantha, and I don't think McKey needs Top Model to go places. Samantha does.

Looking back at their photos, I love a majority of Samantha's pictures. (bathing suit, clean&natural, etc.)

This is why I should be President. (Because I'd be blogging about Top Model instead of dong my duties... hehe... duties...)

-BJ

I Hate Top Model

2008-11-19T18:36:00.000-08:00

No justice.

I have nothing Sam, but I can't see her anywhere. Annaleigh and McKey are the ones I can see over in Europe.

I will miss Annaleigh dearly. She had beautiful bedroom sleepy eyes and the best personality ever. If she was picked, it could go either way.

However, the chances of them choosing Sam over McKey are one in five. (Nigel likes Sam.)

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Love Top Model

2008-11-19T18:26:00.000-08:00

We quite like McKey's commercial and picture, she definitely proved herself, but we also thought Annaleigh's picture, but her commercial is questionable.

We agree with the judges that Sam's commercial and picture were a bit forced.

This is why we should be President.

-BJ and TS

PS- Notice the lack of talking in Whitney's commercial. ;)

I Love LIVE BLOG OMGZ

2008-11-19T18:04:00.000-08:00

Why is Annaleigh suddenly forgetting all of her lines? Wasn't her other commercial awesome? I thought she had a natural knack for commercials... I'm losing hope.

Whitney's appearance was cute, but this must be pre-acting classes, because she delivered the most obvious commercial for the lip gloss as soon as she arrived.

Annaleigh, please don't do this to us! Sam's kind of a clown and McKey, though lovable, is a bit clueless.

Anxiouly waiting for the next part.

This is why we should be President.

-BJ & TS

I Still Hate Advanced Classes

2008-11-17T16:34:00.000-08:00

Ever tried to play catch up in honors classes?

It sucks.

And it's really hindering my NaNoWriMo status. Which I should post now, since TS has done hers.

Music I'm listening to: Mulan's Decision (from the Mulan soundtrack)
Junkfood Count: Halloween candy and Sprite Zero.
What I'm wearing: Jeans and a ninja turtle T-Shirt. (don't judge me!)
Word Count: WAY lower than it should be at this point.
Word Count I'm supposed to have by the end of tonight: Way more than I have now.
Time: 6:38 p.m.
Chances of me writing anything before Gossip Girl comes on: You don't wanna know. Hell, I don't wanna know.

I Hate Advanced Classes: Part 2

2008-11-16T14:04:00.001-08:00

So...

My grade didn't come out so well.

But my mother understood that Advanced Wildlife is challenging, I wasn't grounded, and I promise to bounce back as quickly as possible.

You haven't heard the last of me!

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

PS- Not grounded means I can still work on NaNoWriMo AND do LIVE BLOG OMGZ for Wednesday's Top Model finale!

I Love Elections

2008-11-13T14:35:00.000-08:00

Some of you may have noticed the lack of comments on the election.

What election? You mean the most historical thing to happen to our generation since September 11th?

Yeah... that election.

Yes, it has occured to TS and I that America has elected its first (half) African-American president.

But more importantly...

Marjorie and Elina went home on Top Model and South Park made Sarah Palin a ninja with a british accent! And made fun of High School Musical.

Alright, so this Wednesday, prepare for our first ever LIVE BLOG OMGZ for the Top Model finale. We'll be commenting on pictures, commercials, and why -that- girl should've gone home over -that- girl.

And wasn't South Park hilarious last night? Kyle's Corbin Bleu hair had me rolling.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Hate Advanced Classes

2008-11-08T09:21:00.000-08:00

Shit. I forgot I didn't turn in a lot of papers in Ecology class. I pray my participation points save my ass here, because I'm struggling to email all of my papers before grades go in. If I get grounded, it will seriously hinder my chances of finishing NaNoWriMo.

This is probably why I'm not President. (Besides the fact that I'm not 35)

-BJ

I Hate Not Being Able To Leave Posts Untitled

2008-11-07T11:18:00.000-08:00

The credit goes to oliverwillis.com for this gem. Who do you recognize?

This is why I should be president.

-TS

I Love NaNoWriMo

2008-11-03T19:47:00.000-08:00

As everyone (who counts) knows, this month is National Novel Writing Month! And I'm super excited! This year will be my first real year participating (BJ and I tried last year...).

So I'm starting the month out by... procrastinating! Right now, I have my story opened up, ready to be written. Yeah right. The best part of writing anything is the procrastinating. Earlier in October, I told myself that I wouldn't do NaNoWriMo unless I finished my college applications by the end of October. And I did! So now I have nothing to worry about except writing my novel (and the huge-ass research paper for my writing class). Here are my stats:

Music I'm listening to: Captain Jack by Billy Joel (and other songs from the 80s)
What I'm drinking/eating: Diet Mountain Dew; a Butterfinger
What I'm wearing: Jeans and a long-sleeved T-shirt
Word Count: 3536
Word Count I'm supposed to have by the end of tonight: 5000
Time: 9:53 p.m.
Chances of reaching goal word count: one in five

Peace out.

-TS

I Hate Tyra

2008-11-03T15:50:00.000-08:00

So, as you may know, I follow America's Next Top Model every Wednesday, and let me tell you...

I.
Am.
Pissed.

Why the hell did they send Sheena home and not Elina? What has Eline done lately? Nothing. Sheena had a better commercial, a better face in her picture, and doesn't tick me off every episode.

Why, Tyra? Why?! I cannot see any justice in this! Elina is no longer capable of taking a good photo! Plus, she's a cynical, pissy, brooding nothing who practically refused to take criticism in this episode. No more faith in humanity. No more...

Anyways... on a lighter note, I decided to do a live blog while I watch the finale. It'll be a special treat.

For the two people that read this...

Well, I'll still be commenting live about the last three contestants (which better not be Elina). I'm really rooting for Annaleigh, McKey, and Marjorie. Finally, I picked a girl (Annaleigh) who actually made it this far. Last time I was Team Stacey-Ann, and I was NOT happy when the girl who didn't even have a photo to show was picked over her.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Hate Tuesdays

2008-10-28T18:53:00.000-07:00

Seriously, Tuesdays and Thursdays are usually pretty uneventful. In fact, most of the weekdays suck.

Monday: Think about this, it's the beginning of the week. Nobody likes Monday.
Tuesday: It's only the second day of the week. Still three more to go. Whoop-de-fucking-doo.
Wednesday: Also known as "Hump day," which I will leave to your filthy imagination. Not as bad as Tuesday, but still pretty boring as far as days go.
Thursdays: You're waiting for Friday: 'Nuff said.
Friday. Hell yes.

This is why I need better things to talk about.

-BJ

I Hate Babies

2008-10-27T16:48:00.000-07:00

I have decided that, because there's really nothing better to talk about, I'm going to rant about Bristol Palin's boyfriend. No, this blog will have nothing to do with politics because Bristol and her BF have nothing to do with politics. Please keep in mind that I use a sarcastic tone for most of this particular blog, none of which is meant to offend anybody. ;)

Article Here

Basically, he talks about the marriage, his Myspace page (which, ironically, he wants nothing to do with anymore), and the baby...

"I'm looking forward to having him," he said. "I'm going to take him hunting and fishing. He'll be everywhere with me."

YOU'RE looking forward to "having" him? Christ Almighty, YOU'RE not "having" the kid. Bristol is the one who has to push him out. And how do you know it's a boy? Sorry, I just really hate men who claim "Oh, yeah, my wife and I are having a baby." No. You and your wife made the baby. She is "having" the baby, while you sit back and watch in horror.

"We were planning on getting married a long time ago with or without the kid," he said. "That was the plan from the start."

Ah, I see. It was fluffy Disney "twu lub" and you just always knew. Yeah, I wanted to marry my boyfriend in third grade because I, like, always knew we were totally meant to be and... holy crap. My first boyfriend moved to Alaska after we broke up. But his name was Drew, so it's all good.

Johnston is an avid hunter. He's dark haired, tall and muscular, sports a bit of stubble and drives a red Chevy Silverado truck.He's hunted bears, sheep, elk, and caribou. Some of the antlers are scattered about his yard. Last July on a caribou hunt he lost a ring that Palin had given him. He said he decided to tattoo her name on the finger and not bother with more rings because he'd just lose them anyway.

Really? Why don't you talk a little more about how totally H.A.W.T he is and what he likes to do in his spare time?

The young man said he wasn't an expert on politics by any stretch. Asked about Barack Obama, he replied: "I don't know anything about him. He seems like a good guy. I like him."But Johnston still rooting for John McCain and Sarah Palin."I just hope she wins," he said. "She's my future mother-in-law. She better win."

Well, I'm not going to say much here. But even if some of my family members were running for President, I would pray to God they didn't win. I'd totally vote for TS, though.

As you can see, I have nothing better to blog about.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

"Totally" Count: 3

I Love Disney

2008-10-19T08:18:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I know how rare it is for either of us to post two blogs in the same day, but I REALLY needed to say something about Feministing's "Disney Princess" blog. Watch the video, I almost died laughing.

It's Hilarious

However, I did notice quite a few comments bashing Disney women, particularly Ariel. They were saying how much they hated the Little Mermaid because Ariel's not a strong, independent character or whatever. You know, Ariel's not a feminist, so she's a stupid character, I guess. Come on, the video is satire.

No matter how hard I try, it's almost impossible for me to find anti-feminist themes in the Little Mermaid. After all, didn't Ariel SAVE the prince, risk her life to become human (sorry, even I don't think having them cut out her tongue like in the original story would be appropriate. Perhaps if it was made more for adults.) Not to mention she attacked Ursula, despite the fact that Ursula had, like, all the power in the sea at her fingertips.

I'm not watching Disney movies, hoping to find feminist themes everywhere. I'm watching because I enjoy the gorgeous hand-drawn animation.

Many of the commenters brought up Mulan. Yes, Mulan is my favorite Disney movie, and I DO think she has a bit more backbone than someone like Aurora or Cinderella.

HOWEVER, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella were both made in the 50s, when the ideal model of a woman was a docile beauty who worked in the household without question. You can't expect every Disney princess to join the army and save their country. Then Disney would be even more formula-matic than it already is. Snow White was in the thirties, just after women even got the right to friggin' vote. Disney himself supervised all three of these movies, and these were the kinds of women he grew up with.

All I'm saying is, go easy on children's movies. I grew up in the second "Golden Age" of Disney, and I'm a feminist. Disney is not subconsciously trying to make our daughters/future daughters subservient housewives.

But if you'd like a list of children's films with strong, female characters, I'd be more than willing to give you a list.
1. Mulan
2. Secret of NIMH
3. Chicken Run
4. Kiki's Delivery Service
5. The Rescuers

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Hate "Scummy Tactics"

2008-10-19T05:49:00.000-07:00

So I'm listening to this interesting woman on the radio who's talking about developing better communication skills in children. But that's not why I'm writing this blog.

I'm writing it because of an article I'm reading about how McCain's tactics have become even dirtier than they already were.

Read Here

Are you fucking kidding me?! How DARE the McCain campaign call a bunch of people in a state and link Obama to a radical terrorist. This same strategy was used against McCain in 2000 (so our YD leader told us) that would say awful things about John McCain, and it helped (eventually) Bush win the presidency.

Nobody deserves this kind of treatment. Palin, of course, sickens me to the core because Obama PROTECTED her from media hype when her daughter became pregnant and she turned around and lashed out instead of thanking him by running a clean campaign. This woman is sick. Will the real Hillary Clinton please stand up?

I mean, that's like if I was running for student council president against TS and she helped me hang up posters supporting me because she's an awesome friend. Then I turned around and sent out automatic phone calls that went something like this.

BJ(recording): Hello. I am BJ, the greatest person ever and I was calling to ask you one simple question. Did you know TS cheated on a test in fourth grade? She CHEATED!!!

Student: OMFG!! THAT GIRL ISN'T FIT TO BE OUR PRESIDENT! I REFUSE TO VOTE FOR TS ON THE GROUNDS THAT SHE CHEATED OF A TEST... eight years ago...

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Love, Love, Love South Park

2008-10-15T20:47:00.000-07:00

Much better. Will probably become one of my favorite episodes.

What the Presidential debates were on tonight? Sorry, that's TS's thing. I was too busy anticipating South Park (which I successfully managed to boycott for seven days, thanks to the utterly disgusting rape joke) to care about the candidates. Though I did get upset when McCain called Palin a "role model for all women" despite that she's anti-feminist, and put "health of the mother" in quotations when they were talking about abortion. WTF WAS THAT ABOUT?!

Moving on.. This week, South Park tackled yet another controversial issue. They talked about a fat little lump that can eventually have the potential to severely harm you.

No, not THAT fat little lump. ; ) They tackled the issue of breast cancer... without actually tackling the issue of breast cancer. This is exactly how I wanted them to handle the rape joke in the last episode. For a brief summary, Wendy tries to inform her class about Breast Cancer Awareness Month, only to be cut off by Cartman laughing his ass off. He calls it "titty cancer" and claims that "killer titties will get us all" which I couldn't help but laugh at. Wendy challenges him to a fight after school, and he tries to apologize after realizing just how pissed off Wendy is.

Cartman manages to get out of it... for a while. The principal (a survivor of breast cancer) encourages Wendy to "fight the fat lump" and not to let said lump "make her feel powerless." So Wendy beats the living fudge out of Cartman in one of the most epic displays of cartoon violence ever (being topped only by "Cripple Fight".) Let's just say she beats his head against a jungle gym before she wears herself out and walks off.

I encourage women to watch this episode, as Wendy is a powerful feminist, and it should provide relief to those who have/had breast cancer. I much prefer this little 2D piece of cardboard as a role model over Palin.

This is why I should shake Parker and Stone's hands. (And be President and all that junk.)

-BJ

PS- HAD to post this early. I loved the episode that much.

I Hate Atheists

2008-10-15T16:05:00.000-07:00

So, I'm on Myspace (which I shouldn't be because it's probably one of the things contributing to the deterioration of our society... much like youtube, which I still visit regularly.) To defend youtube, there ARE smart videos that are informative, but I have yet to find a smart blogger (like us) on Myspace.

So anyways, there was this girl who was all like "God doesn't exist. Deal with it." Seriously, that is a new level of assholery on Myspace, which is full of assholes. She didn't have a plausible argument and she sounded like a bitter fourth grader who tells the younger kids that Santa Claus doesn't exist because they're disappointed with the truth.

Another example of why South Park is a smart show. They talk about how a lot of "intelligent" atheists make the stupidest arguments. Here, just listen to the commentaries on these two episodes:

Commentary Number One
Commentary Number Two

Why are atheists so snarky? At least people who try to convert people to Christianity, they do it because they believe they're helping others. Every single atheists I've come across has always been like "God doesn't exist, and you're a moron for believing such nonsense. I am right and I love the smell of my own farts."

Anyways, I'm getting too angry to discuss this further. On a side note, the last Presidential debate is tonight, and since Top Model is only showing one of their dumb recap episodes, I've decided in favor of the debate... even though I don't understand a word they say half the time. But, when it comes to Debates vs. South Park? South Park trumps Obama and McCain going at it every time.

Life is good.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

PS- On my way with TS to retrieve a soda this morning, I noticed our Young Democrats posters (3 HAND-DRAWN posters, to be exact) had been torn down by a hard-core Republican. I later squeezed the information out of said Republican, who is unaware I joined Young Democrats. TS and I will inform you about our revenge in future blogs. ;)

I Hate Taxpayers

2008-10-12T19:12:00.000-07:00

Seriously. Have you noticed how Americans are smart, all-around good people, but taxpayers are greedy little pigs? Personally, I hate them all, but politicians seem to reiterate these key differences.

This post isn't about that, though. It's about health care. And it has an article:
http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=OTg0M2RjYjRlMGU0MTRjNWUxZTkwODQ1NWE3OTc2Yjg =

In the article, the author examines whether or not health care is a right. After reading it, i called BJ and asked her what she thought, and she said it was. But I'm going to disagree. In my opinion, health care is not a right, and it should not be centralized through the government. Of course, I also disapprove of social security and 401k's, so maybe I'm not the person to talk to.

To me, universal health care highlights the irresponsibility of Americans. Much like 401k's, it shows how we are reluctant to take responsibility for our own lives. When I asked my mo why she had a 401k, she answered "Because I don't trust myself to save money." I know that social security (switching gears) was created during the Depression because the elderly ha no money and all, but I don't really care. If people aren't responsible enough to protect their own future, then they can pay the consequences.

I'm a cold, apathetic bitch, though, and Americans are irresponsible losers. So go universal health care!

Yes, I realize I didn't really talk about why I don't like the idea of universal health care, and i went on a tangent about social seurity. Basically, people that choose a certain job should get over themselves and stop whining about benefits. I don't care.

Also, feel free to argue with me. Because anyone else's argument is probably way better than mine :)

This is why I should (or shouldn't?) be president.
-TS

P.S. I just found out my uncle is a democrat! Yay!
P.S.S. I just got back from Arkansas, land of the hicks, so I'll be ranting for the next few posts. AKA no "I Love"s for a while.

I Hate Magazines

2008-10-12T10:52:00.000-07:00

OH.MY.GOD.

Stop the fucking presses!

What? The economy's going to shit, troops are still being deployed to Iraq, and the dollar bill is at its lowest value ever?

Fuck that shit!Newsweek had a close-up picture of Palin and they DID NOT RETOUCH it! I'm so ashamed of these magazine companies! How dare they allow Palin to be her natural self and not some fake beauty queen! I'm going to cancel my subscription right now, damn it! Newsweek is a liberal, elitist company that...

Wait a second. I just realized I don't care about celebrities. And since this incident basically puts Palin at celebrity status, I refuse to talk about it any longer.

God, I'm really ashamed of America sometimes.

So, my bird was crawling all over my phone while I was talking to it on speaker. How cute!

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Hate Technology

2008-10-09T20:10:00.000-07:00

Seriously. How hard should it be to add Flickr? It should be a nice, self-explanatory piece of cake. But no. Instead, the freakin' layout is off. And it refuses to show updates. And at the bottom is :jQuery("#html_code").val(code_start + code_middle + code_end). And it WON'T GO AWAY.

I'm officially giving up. Maybe I'll try again tomorrow, after I've had a full night's sleep. Until then, here's my updates:

I'm freezing.
I'm thirsty.
My nose hurts.

This is why I should break this computer.
-TS

I Hate... South Park?

2008-10-08T19:54:00.000-07:00

No, I'm still an extremely loyal South Park fan. I love the works of Matt Stone and Trey Parker and still think they're TOTAL geniuses. Perhaps I'm being hypocritical...

But I think this episode went too far with the "Indiana Jones" joke. For those of you who saw this episode, you'll understand what I mean.

By all means, South Park is SUPPOSED to be a lowbrow, insensitive program that doesn't really care about anyone or anything. (Except good movie quality). It also relies mainly on shock value. However, that was no reason for them to show George Lucas humping Indiana Jones while Steven Spielberg holds him down. This joke was handled extremely well at the beginning when the boys were in the movie theatre, exaggerating the situation. After Kyle's dream, it all went downhill from there, and each vision of SS and GL "raping" Indiana Jones made me more and more uncomfortable as the show went on. I was praying for them to cut back to Cartman and Butters attempting to "stop" the Chinese from taking over the world. Then, what really got me was Cartman saying it wasn't cool to shoot a guy in the dick. Nah, butshowing Indiana Jones being raped is totally alright.

I understand you are upset about Indiana Jones and the aliens being in this new movie and all, but this joke could've been done more tastefully throughout, such as it was in the beginning. Your point could've gotten across in a more humorous and high-quality lowbrow way.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Love Classical Music

2008-10-05T21:01:00.001-07:00

And I'm not old and not stuck up! Wow, I bet you thought that was impossible, right?

In the wake of all my recent political/social commentary, I decided to say something about music. Right now, my on-the-go play list includes Billy Joel, 4 Strings, Within Temptation, Slipknot...

And The Devil's Trill.

I listen to modern music all the time, and I love it. But nothing is more profound, more enlightening than classical. In my sociology class (ignoring my disgust with the course in general), I learned that words are just symbols, existing only to designate meaning to abstract ideas. So lyrical music, by definition, is weighed down by these symbols, attempting to grasp an idea through words. But some things cannot be expressed through words.

That's why classical music is more profound. Instead of trying to chain the abstract with mere words, it embraces it. It soars to heights unattainable through lyrics, and most people don't get that. Which I completely understand. By nature, I am an abstract person, but some people are not. For some, concrete ideas are better.

No matter which you prefer, the impact of classical music lies beyond lyrics (no matter how rhythmic and cool), instead touching the soul (not to sound cheesy or anything). Personally, I feel more uplifted when I listen to Valse de Fleurs than Summer Sun, and I feel tragedy greater through The Devil's Trill than Tonight I Wanna Cry.

Of course, I'm high on NyQuil, so my opinion probably means nothing.

This is why I should be president.
-TS

P.S. Wow... my second blog in two days... I'm setting a record! Let's see if I can keep it up.

P.S.S. A friend of mine inspired this by referring to classical music as "boring," so I felt like responding in a post that he'll most likely never read. I can never come up with good arguments at the time...

I Love Debates

2008-10-04T20:25:00.000-07:00

Which is why I, as a future president, should take part in them. So, in honor of the VP debate on Thursday, I will answer the questions pose to the VP candidates (as potential president, of course.)

Gwen Ifill: Was the bailout the best or worst of Washington?
TS: Neither. It was a sad attempt to resolve a problem created by Washington in the first place.

GI: How would you, as President, work to shrink the gap of polarization in Washington?
TS: I would first surround myself with both Republicans and Democrats, as the President needs to be kept in check. I would also create bi-partisan sub-committees for -everything-, forcing the parties to work together. Because I do not vote strictly along party lines, I will not expect any other representative to.

GI: Who do you think was at fault for the sub prime lending meltdown?
TS: "Darn right it was the predator lenders!" Just kidding. Each party was at fault. Whether or not lenders deceived citizens, those receiving loans are also to blame. People should take responsibility for their own mistakes and stop blaming Wall Street for everything. Yes, corporations are unmoral greed-monsters, but Americans shouldn't let themselves be coerced into taking stupid risks that they can't afford to pay for.

GI: Taxes?
TS: People who earn more money should pay higher taxes than those who earn less. American society provided the means for the wealthy to become successful, so they should contribute more to it.

GI: What promises have you made that you can't keep?
TS: None, because I haven't made any promises.

GI: Climate change. What's true or false about it?
TS: It's not completely man-made, but the human population is contributing to it. While it is important to develop alternative energy sources, such sources would not produce enough energy for years. I do not support nuclear power or offshore drilling due to the environmental risks and costs of clean-up. Again, the people of the US need to take responsibility and stop whining. Buy a more fuel-efficient car or carpool.

GI:Do you support, as they do in Alaska, granting same-sex benefits to couples?
TS: Yes.

GI: Do you support gay marriage?
TS: Yes. I understand the horrible problem of redefining the term "marriage," which would cause the apocalypse. Much like how our ancestors were cruelly forced to redefine the term "woman" as "a human being with rights" instead of "subservient being." So, to resolve this problem, I suggest calling a union between members of the same sex as "gmarriage." (gah-marriage)

GI: Exit strategy in Iraq?
TS: Um, yes. That would be good. Let's exit. Within two years. Y'know, maybe keep a few troops over there for the next fifty years like in Korea, since that's the environment the Bush administration has created.

GI: What's the greater threat, a nuclear Iran or an unstable Afghanistan?
TS: A nuclear Iran. Because you never said anything about Afghanistan possessing nuclear (NU-clee-ar) weapons, so I'd rather have an unstable unarmed nation than an armed psycho nation.

GI: What should be the trigger if nuclear weaponry is put into play?
TS: I don't know, but it we nuke one enemy we have to nuke them all. So they don't get any ideas. Y'know, if we have to bomb Iran, than we need to take care of Pakistan, North Korea, Russia, and France in the process.

THE END (because everything else I didn't understand)

This is why I should be president.
-TS

I Hate Rolling

2008-09-30T14:32:00.000-07:00

"Yeah, I totally support gay rights. But don't get me wrong- I don't roll that way."

How many times have you heard something like this? From your friends, family, coworkers? While not a blatantly homophobic statement (such as "I hate mother-fuckin' fags"... also heard quite frequently in the hallways), there's still something off about it. If the gay rights' movement is about equality, about respecting people despite their sexual preferences, then why is it so important to establish the fact that, while you support gay rights, you most definitely aren't gay yourself.

I catch myself doing this sometimes, assuring everyone that I don't "roll that way." But why? Is it really the most horrible thing in existence if someone thinks that you could perhaps be gay? It undermines the entire message of gay rights to be so adamant about your own "normal" sexuality. Although it's usually said in a joking manner, the message behind this statement (and others like it) is perfectly clear- "I'm a total hypocrite who is just as uncomfortable with my sexuality as you are with a ten-foot python."

So, while it is important not hide your sexuality, it's also important to stop constantly reasserting a fact that your friends most likely are aware of. If you really support gay rights, then stop continuing homophobic behavior by advertising your "normality."

This is why I should be president (because I hop instead of roll)
-TS

I Hate Stephenie Meyer... again

2008-09-29T17:08:00.000-07:00

I know I'm a little late on her whole tantrum over Midnight Sun, but I'm busy planning for NanoWriMo, which I'm extremely excited for. Leave a comment, or email me if you're participating!

In case you're also behind on this news, Stephenie Meyer, author of the God awful Twilight books, threw a fit after one of her friends posted about 300 pages of Midnight Sun online. (Which I did not read, simply because I did not want to.) So, this whole thing is just a publicity stunt to receive more hype over Midnight Sun. Go look on youtube and look up something like "apologies to Stephenie Meyer" or something. Swear to God you'll find some of the creepiest videos ever. Seriously, this lady has a fucking cult backing her up (rumor has it she treats them like dirt, but not many have confirmed this. Comment if you've been to a signing, or have met her in person.) I mean, damn, she could say she's the next Jesus Christ, or Joseph Smith... she IS Mormon, right? Whatever, she'll say she's the next Joseph Smith and people will follow her to the ends of the earth, and then proceed a mass suicide (by cyanide of course) in her honor.

All because she wrote a mediocre vampire novel.

Now, why the fuck would you hand out 12 manuscripts to friends? Why not just have ONE copy and invite them over for tea, so they can criticize the manuscript right then? That way, you can go back and edit right away, and not have to worry about pages getting leaked.

On the other hand, I might actually respect her a tiny bit if she follows through with this decision. This might be her one chance to say "Maybe I should STOP milking this series" and really, truly stop, no matter how creepy the fans get. Anyone else expecting a real life version of "Misery"? *

However, even if she does stop, I still can't forgive her for being arrogant about "The Host" being made into a movie, and categorizing Twilight haters as if she knows us as individuals.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

*"Misery" is a Stephen King novel in which a hardcore fan tortures the author into writing another book about his most popular character, named Misery. Watch out, Meyer.

I Hate Streets

2008-09-27T10:18:00.000-07:00

Last night, BJ and I went to the homecoming game at our high school (which we unfortunately lost). While there, we realized that, while we were wasting away in the bleachers, Obama and McCain were duking it out on national television. (Yeah, I know- we should be on top of these things, but we were slacking). So when we got home, we stayed up until 1:00 am to see a re-airing of the debate. Granted, I don't remember much because I was half-asleep, but I do recall one thing.

Freakin' streets.

Both candidates were doing it- "We need to help Main Street as well as Wall Street." I would guess that each candidate repeated a version of this overused metaphor at least 10 times. Find a different way to say it! After the second or third time, it becomes completely ineffective and loses its meaning. I personally was already sick of it by 1:00 am today, and hearing our presidential candidates conform to such a boring cliche infuriated me.

Learn some new metaphors. There are many other ways to compare rich people to the middle-class. Use them.

This is why I should be president (because I am original).
_TS and BJ

I Love Comments: The Sequel

2008-09-27T10:09:00.000-07:00

I've learned that it's not how long the post is when it comes to comments... It's what you say.

So, here's a list of simple things to say to motivate people to comment.

Neutral:
Twilight is the worst book I've ever read. It sucks balls.
(Insert Celebrity Name Here) is such a skank/whore/ballsucker/asshole/etc.

Girls:
On a scale of one-to-ten, how much does your period suck?
(Post a picture. Then begin to insult yourself and call yourself ugly. It's called "fishing for compliments".)
Twilight is gay.

Guys:
I would totally bang (Insert Celebrity Name Here)
I'm a chick, and I love South Park and video games. (Can be neutral, as well.)
I have huge knockers.
Abortion for the win! (Also neutral, but mostly guys say it's "wrong".)

This is why I should be President.

-TS and BJ

I Love Comments

2008-09-14T20:21:00.000-07:00

OK, so I was going to label this post "I Hate Comments" due to the recent enflux of Love posts from BJ, but then I realized that that would be stupid. Because i do like comments.

At least, comments that are relevant to the post. So far, there have only been three comments which really made me go "WTF?" The most recent one was on BJ's "I Love Fridays" blog.The comment was about His Dark Materials, which, um, isn't exactly about Fridays. So, as much as comments rock, it's not helpful if they are completely off-topic.

I remember one on one of our recent political blogs where the commentor rambled on and on, calling us "sheep" and "cattle." I'm not going to put someonedown for insulting us, but the problem was the nature of the insults. In the blog I wrote on Palin, I never said I supported her. I specifically said that, since she was Republican and inherently anti-feminist, I would not vote for her. On BJ's blog, she was completely anti-McCain.

So, in conclusion, comments are good. But two rules:

1.) READ the post you are commenting on
2.) COMMENT on the subject of the post

This is why I should be president.
-TS

I Love Top Model: Cycle 11

2008-09-14T08:08:00.000-07:00

Really, I do. The girls are WAY more memorable than last season's girls. I could give you a list right now of people I love, like, hate, and sort of dislike.

Love: Sheena, McKey, Marjorie, Annaleigh, Isis

Like: Brittany S. (Nothing Memorable about her, at ALL, though), Lauren Brie, Elina (almost at love), Joslyn

Hate: Clark, though she didn't seem as bigoted in this episode.

Dislike: Hannah. Really? You're going to let a few comments bring you down? Just say you're not racist!

Glad Nykesha went home. It would have been WAY too redundant to have her win unless they gave her a full-blown makeover, cause she looks so much like Saliesha. The way Sheena stepped forward and admitted that her breasts were fake was pretty cool, so she stepped up a bit in my book. But if she doesn't get rid of that hooch, I'm gonna miss her. =(

Who else can't wait until makeovers? What the hell are they gonna do to Elina? Dye her hair pink? (They already shaved Clair last cycle, so that's been done)

Hope Isis does way better next week. It would be a shame for her to go home after making it that far. Show us how fierce you can be, girl!

Clark, stop taking good pictures and go home.

This is why I should be President

-BJ

PS- Perhaps I will post something political.... someday.......

I Love Fridays

2008-09-12T14:30:00.000-07:00

I think everyone does, unless they're some sort of weirdo who, you know... DOESN'T like the end of the week.

Nothing much political has happened... So here's a boring-ass reviews of BJ's week.

Monday: Gossip Girl was awesome, and definitely the highlight of my day. Why are Ed Westwick and Leighton Meister so hot?

Tuesday: Got contacts, so my glasses won't fog up every time I get hot, yay! Sure was a bitch getting them out, though.

Wednesday: Top-Model, obviously. An in-depth review will probably be posted when I get to see the entire episode. Did anyone else see the preview for the new Gossip Girl? Hot stuff.

Thursday: Young Democrats. Drawing posters is fun and we had cupcakes. Went to a baseball game for TS's birthday, didn't get to shower or sleep for very long. Still kind of fun.

Friday: Going to a party, later.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a shower and a nap.

This is why I should be Pres

-BJ

I Hate You All

2008-09-06T19:16:00.000-07:00

This blog brings my piss to a boil. Firstly, it claims to be a "blog for women", so I got really excited. Then I realized, it's just like every other fucking gossip blog out there (hey, I read AND watch Gossip Girl) and reads like a stupid magazine.

I read the first five blogs, hoping to actually find something about fitness, feminist issues, and dating tips. Instead, I got bombarded with stupid shit about celebrities I don't give a fuck about. Even better? They have what they like to call "Celebrity Flaw of the Day".

Don't even get me started on this. Katherine Heigl has cellulite? So does every other fucking individual that has that healthy little ounce of fat we're apparently NOT supposed to have. What kind of message is this sending to women? "Cottage cheese glory"? What the hell?

Fuck you. Katherine Heigl is gorgeous, and you're jealous because you're not making millions of dollars every time you're in a movie, and I'll bet none of these idiots that write this shit even look good in a two piece. Why should we give a damn, anyway?

I can't believe people write this stuff and claim that "women" are their target audience.

This is why I should be President

-BJ

PS- Two blogs in one day? Cookies for me, that quite an accomplishment! ;)

I Love My Dad

2008-09-06T08:16:00.000-07:00

So, I told my Dad I was going to join Young Democrats, right? Well, he joked about it probably because he didn't think I was serious.

Last night, I told him I was officially Democrat.

Silly me, I might as well have just told him I was pregnant or something, the way he reacted.

"Dad, I'm gay."
"No, you can't decide that until you're 18. Good one, BJ."

"Dad, I'm pregnant."
"Hm... I could've sworn I bought you birth control."

"Dad, I'm a Democrat."
pause. "You know, BJ, Democrats are lying, worthless cheaters who don't deserve to be in office."

I'm not actually gay or pregnant, I'm just going by what he would probably say. And we had the most hardcore debate about politics ever.

This is why I should be President

-BJ

PS- Oh, and to whoever left that comment on my "I Hate This Election" post, I give a big Thank You. I haven't laughed that hard since I saw the South Park episode, "Proper Condom Use". But next time, try actually reading the blog you comment on. Because not once in that blog did I say that I supported Palin or say you should vote for her. I only pointed out some of the good things about her, since everybody else is dissing on her. So, while we appreciate the comment, try reading the material first.

I Hate This Election

2008-09-04T05:24:00.001-07:00

Ugh, we're all sitting around, crossing our fingers for our candidate (whoever it may be) to win. It's so nerve-racking because this is the person who is going to control our COUNTRY for another 4-8 years.

As a Democrat, I am happy to report that Obama is still ahead in the polls... By five percent. That's still ahead, and a sign that this will probably be one of the closest races in history. Even closer than the 2000 election, which still pisses me off and makes me think that the electoral college is pointless shit. Just go by popular vote. Now Gore's gone insane and is yet another liberal that makes us look bad.

Like TS said, Palin isn't a bad person. Now, I don't know about her, but I just don't trust Palin. She's got this dark eerie aura looming over her... like she's waiting for her chance to... you know...

EAT ALL OF THE BABIES!!!

To some people, that might sound random. But let me clarify that it's an inside joke Democrats made to counter the "You're killing the baby by supporting abortion you baby killer!!!"

Sarah Palin is really a Democrat deep down. She's just spent too much time in Alaska.

This is why I should be Prez.

-BJ

PS- If you really don't want a certain candidate to win, wrap yourself in seaweed and chant their name. Then do this in front of a mirror and realize how much of a douche you look like.