I Hate Liberals

OK, so I was a bit confused when I went to the political subcategory on Amazon books... because the main page is filled with conservative propaganda! (As opposed to liberal propaganda, of course...). The rank bestsellers (as of 3:01 am) are as follows:


1.Glenn Beck's Common Sense (Kindle Edition)- Glenn Beck
2. Glenn Beck's Common Sense (Book edition)- GB
3. Liberty and Tyranny: A Conservative Manifesto (Kindle Edition)- Mark R. Levin
4. " " " " " " " (Book Edition)- " " "
5. Catastrophe (Kindle Edition)- Dick Morris
6. " " (BE) " " " " ""
7. 5000 Year Leap (Glenn Beck Foreword)- W. Cleon Skousen*
8. not propaganda
9. 5000 Year Leap-W. Cleon Skousen
10 & 11. Common Sense- Thomas Paine (not propaganda... anymore)

12. Liberal Fascism- Jonah Goldberg

etc.


First, I don't like how Amazon lists the Kindle version and the book version of a book separately, but I guess the delivery might be off so people would comment on that. But still... I haven't seen a bestseller's list so horrifying since... well, since a few minutes ago when I was on random pages and Twilight dominated EVERYTHING.


And it made me wonder why conservatives were selling so many books... and then it hit me.


It's because liberals don't read.


I mean, we're too busy getting high and having butt sex and getting fetuses sucked out to read. But that shouldn't be an excuse not to buy the liberal propaganda... it would give you something to swat the Jehovah's Witnesses away with. And the rating on these books should be significantly lower. If I've learned anything from Amazon, it's that you don't need to have read a book to judge it, bash it, and completely trash talk fans of it based on the author and/or your personal biases toward the subject matter (take THAT Glenn Beck!).

But whatever you do, don't read! If we take a break from sex/drugs/killing babies, then the conservatives will have won!

This is why I should be president (because they don't read either).
-TS

*I didn't actually check to see if this was conservative propaganda... but it has a forward by Glenn Beck, so I would probably wager my life that it is.

PS: Bill O'Reilly's biography is four stars... that's crap. I don't care how well-written it might be, the subject matter is crap (looking at the person he is today, I'm pretty sure I don't want to read about his childhood). Remember- you don't have to read it to judge it.

PSS: I'm currently reading (while doing other things, mind you (like listening to death metal, a perfectly valid liberal past time)) Stephen Colbert's book, so this might sound like a parody.

I Hate Abstinence

Lorenzo: Gosh, Angelita, I'm really turned on by your womanly curves right now.

Angelita: (takes off her bra) Wow. I feel super excited! Let's have sex!

Lorenzo: Alrighty!

(They get naked and take off all of their clothes. Both are really turned on.)

Lorenzo: Darn... I don't have a condom.

Angelita: Shucks.

(Both sigh)

Angelita: Wait! In sex ed we learned that condoms fail forty percent of the time anyway, which is close to fifty. So we might as well not use one, right?

Lorenzo: You betcha!

(Have sex. Lorenzo gets herpes. The End.)

This is why I should be president (and not a playwright)
-TS

PS: By "I Hate Abstinence," I mean "I Hate the Abstinence Only Movement"... but that was too long.

PSS: Yes, people really do talk like that. At least, if it's a rerun of Leave it to Beaver.