Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I Hate Tuesdays

Seriously, Tuesdays and Thursdays are usually pretty uneventful. In fact, most of the weekdays suck.

Monday: Think about this, it's the beginning of the week. Nobody likes Monday.
Tuesday: It's only the second day of the week. Still three more to go. Whoop-de-fucking-doo.
Wednesday: Also known as "Hump day," which I will leave to your filthy imagination. Not as bad as Tuesday, but still pretty boring as far as days go.
Thursdays: You're waiting for Friday: 'Nuff said.
Friday. Hell yes.

This is why I need better things to talk about.

-BJ

Monday, October 27, 2008

I Hate Babies

I have decided that, because there's really nothing better to talk about, I'm going to rant about Bristol Palin's boyfriend. No, this blog will have nothing to do with politics because Bristol and her BF have nothing to do with politics. Please keep in mind that I use a sarcastic tone for most of this particular blog, none of which is meant to offend anybody. ;)

Article Here

Basically, he talks about the marriage, his Myspace page (which, ironically, he wants nothing to do with anymore), and the baby...

"I'm looking forward to having him," he said. "I'm going to take him hunting and fishing. He'll be everywhere with me."
YOU'RE looking forward to "having" him? Christ Almighty, YOU'RE not "having" the kid. Bristol is the one who has to push him out. And how do you know it's a boy? Sorry, I just really hate men who claim "Oh, yeah, my wife and I are having a baby." No. You and your wife made the baby. She is "having" the baby, while you sit back and watch in horror.
"We were planning on getting married a long time ago with or without the kid," he said. "That was the plan from the start."
Ah, I see. It was fluffy Disney "twu lub" and you just always knew. Yeah, I wanted to marry my boyfriend in third grade because I, like, always knew we were totally meant to be and... holy crap. My first boyfriend moved to Alaska after we broke up. But his name was Drew, so it's all good.
Johnston is an avid hunter. He's dark haired, tall and muscular, sports a bit of stubble and drives a red Chevy Silverado truck.He's hunted bears, sheep, elk, and caribou. Some of the antlers are scattered about his yard. Last July on a caribou hunt he lost a ring that Palin had given him. He said he decided to tattoo her name on the finger and not bother with more rings because he'd just lose them anyway.
Really? Why don't you talk a little more about how totally H.A.W.T he is and what he likes to do in his spare time?
The young man said he wasn't an expert on politics by any stretch. Asked about Barack Obama, he replied: "I don't know anything about him. He seems like a good guy. I like him."But Johnston still rooting for John McCain and Sarah Palin."I just hope she wins," he said. "She's my future mother-in-law. She better win."
Well, I'm not going to say much here. But even if some of my family members were running for President, I would pray to God they didn't win. I'd totally vote for TS, though.
As you can see, I have nothing better to blog about.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
"Totally" Count: 3

Sunday, October 19, 2008

I Love Disney

Sorry, I know how rare it is for either of us to post two blogs in the same day, but I REALLY needed to say something about Feministing's "Disney Princess" blog. Watch the video, I almost died laughing.

It's Hilarious

However, I did notice quite a few comments bashing Disney women, particularly Ariel. They were saying how much they hated the Little Mermaid because Ariel's not a strong, independent character or whatever. You know, Ariel's not a feminist, so she's a stupid character, I guess. Come on, the video is satire.

No matter how hard I try, it's almost impossible for me to find anti-feminist themes in the Little Mermaid. After all, didn't Ariel SAVE the prince, risk her life to become human (sorry, even I don't think having them cut out her tongue like in the original story would be appropriate. Perhaps if it was made more for adults.) Not to mention she attacked Ursula, despite the fact that Ursula had, like, all the power in the sea at her fingertips.

I'm not watching Disney movies, hoping to find feminist themes everywhere. I'm watching because I enjoy the gorgeous hand-drawn animation.

Many of the commenters brought up Mulan. Yes, Mulan is my favorite Disney movie, and I DO think she has a bit more backbone than someone like Aurora or Cinderella.

HOWEVER, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella were both made in the 50s, when the ideal model of a woman was a docile beauty who worked in the household without question. You can't expect every Disney princess to join the army and save their country. Then Disney would be even more formula-matic than it already is. Snow White was in the thirties, just after women even got the right to friggin' vote. Disney himself supervised all three of these movies, and these were the kinds of women he grew up with.

All I'm saying is, go easy on children's movies. I grew up in the second "Golden Age" of Disney, and I'm a feminist. Disney is not subconsciously trying to make our daughters/future daughters subservient housewives.

But if you'd like a list of children's films with strong, female characters, I'd be more than willing to give you a list.
1. Mulan
2. Secret of NIMH
3. Chicken Run
4. Kiki's Delivery Service
5. The Rescuers

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Hate "Scummy Tactics"

So I'm listening to this interesting woman on the radio who's talking about developing better communication skills in children. But that's not why I'm writing this blog.

I'm writing it because of an article I'm reading about how McCain's tactics have become even dirtier than they already were.

Read Here

Are you fucking kidding me?! How DARE the McCain campaign call a bunch of people in a state and link Obama to a radical terrorist. This same strategy was used against McCain in 2000 (so our YD leader told us) that would say awful things about John McCain, and it helped (eventually) Bush win the presidency.

Nobody deserves this kind of treatment. Palin, of course, sickens me to the core because Obama PROTECTED her from media hype when her daughter became pregnant and she turned around and lashed out instead of thanking him by running a clean campaign. This woman is sick. Will the real Hillary Clinton please stand up?

I mean, that's like if I was running for student council president against TS and she helped me hang up posters supporting me because she's an awesome friend. Then I turned around and sent out automatic phone calls that went something like this.

BJ(recording): Hello. I am BJ, the greatest person ever and I was calling to ask you one simple question. Did you know TS cheated on a test in fourth grade? She CHEATED!!!

Student: OMFG!! THAT GIRL ISN'T FIT TO BE OUR PRESIDENT! I REFUSE TO VOTE FOR TS ON THE GROUNDS THAT SHE CHEATED OF A TEST... eight years ago...

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I Love, Love, Love South Park

Much better. Will probably become one of my favorite episodes.

What the Presidential debates were on tonight? Sorry, that's TS's thing. I was too busy anticipating South Park (which I successfully managed to boycott for seven days, thanks to the utterly disgusting rape joke) to care about the candidates. Though I did get upset when McCain called Palin a "role model for all women" despite that she's anti-feminist, and put "health of the mother" in quotations when they were talking about abortion. WTF WAS THAT ABOUT?!

Moving on.. This week, South Park tackled yet another controversial issue. They talked about a fat little lump that can eventually have the potential to severely harm you.

No, not THAT fat little lump. ; ) They tackled the issue of breast cancer... without actually tackling the issue of breast cancer. This is exactly how I wanted them to handle the rape joke in the last episode. For a brief summary, Wendy tries to inform her class about Breast Cancer Awareness Month, only to be cut off by Cartman laughing his ass off. He calls it "titty cancer" and claims that "killer titties will get us all" which I couldn't help but laugh at. Wendy challenges him to a fight after school, and he tries to apologize after realizing just how pissed off Wendy is.

Cartman manages to get out of it... for a while. The principal (a survivor of breast cancer) encourages Wendy to "fight the fat lump" and not to let said lump "make her feel powerless." So Wendy beats the living fudge out of Cartman in one of the most epic displays of cartoon violence ever (being topped only by "Cripple Fight".) Let's just say she beats his head against a jungle gym before she wears herself out and walks off.

I encourage women to watch this episode, as Wendy is a powerful feminist, and it should provide relief to those who have/had breast cancer. I much prefer this little 2D piece of cardboard as a role model over Palin.

This is why I should shake Parker and Stone's hands. (And be President and all that junk.)

-BJ

PS- HAD to post this early. I loved the episode that much.

I Hate Atheists

So, I'm on Myspace (which I shouldn't be because it's probably one of the things contributing to the deterioration of our society... much like youtube, which I still visit regularly.) To defend youtube, there ARE smart videos that are informative, but I have yet to find a smart blogger (like us) on Myspace.

So anyways, there was this girl who was all like "God doesn't exist. Deal with it." Seriously, that is a new level of assholery on Myspace, which is full of assholes. She didn't have a plausible argument and she sounded like a bitter fourth grader who tells the younger kids that Santa Claus doesn't exist because they're disappointed with the truth.

Another example of why South Park is a smart show. They talk about how a lot of "intelligent" atheists make the stupidest arguments. Here, just listen to the commentaries on these two episodes:

Commentary Number One
Commentary Number Two

Why are atheists so snarky? At least people who try to convert people to Christianity, they do it because they believe they're helping others. Every single atheists I've come across has always been like "God doesn't exist, and you're a moron for believing such nonsense. I am right and I love the smell of my own farts."

Anyways, I'm getting too angry to discuss this further. On a side note, the last Presidential debate is tonight, and since Top Model is only showing one of their dumb recap episodes, I've decided in favor of the debate... even though I don't understand a word they say half the time. But, when it comes to Debates vs. South Park? South Park trumps Obama and McCain going at it every time.

Life is good.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

PS- On my way with TS to retrieve a soda this morning, I noticed our Young Democrats posters (3 HAND-DRAWN posters, to be exact) had been torn down by a hard-core Republican. I later squeezed the information out of said Republican, who is unaware I joined Young Democrats. TS and I will inform you about our revenge in future blogs. ;)

Sunday, October 12, 2008

I Hate Taxpayers

Seriously. Have you noticed how Americans are smart, all-around good people, but taxpayers are greedy little pigs? Personally, I hate them all, but politicians seem to reiterate these key differences.

This post isn't about that, though. It's about health care. And it has an article:
http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=OTg0M2RjYjRlMGU0MTRjNWUxZTkwODQ1NWE3OTc2Yjg=

In the article, the author examines whether or not health care is a right. After reading it, i called BJ and asked her what she thought, and she said it was. But I'm going to disagree. In my opinion, health care is not a right, and it should not be centralized through the government. Of course, I also disapprove of social security and 401k's, so maybe I'm not the person to talk to.

To me, universal health care highlights the irresponsibility of Americans. Much like 401k's, it shows how we are reluctant to take responsibility for our own lives. When I asked my mo why she had a 401k, she answered "Because I don't trust myself to save money." I know that social security (switching gears) was created during the Depression because the elderly ha no money and all, but I don't really care. If people aren't responsible enough to protect their own future, then they can pay the consequences.

I'm a cold, apathetic bitch, though, and Americans are irresponsible losers. So go universal health care!

Yes, I realize I didn't really talk about why I don't like the idea of universal health care, and i went on a tangent about social seurity. Basically, people that choose a certain job should get over themselves and stop whining about benefits. I don't care.

Also, feel free to argue with me. Because anyone else's argument is probably way better than mine :)

This is why I should (or shouldn't?) be president.
-TS

P.S. I just found out my uncle is a democrat! Yay!
P.S.S. I just got back from Arkansas, land of the hicks, so I'll be ranting for the next few posts. AKA no "I Love"s for a while.

I Hate Magazines

OH.MY.GOD.

Stop the fucking presses!

What? The economy's going to shit, troops are still being deployed to Iraq, and the dollar bill is at its lowest value ever?

Fuck that shit!Newsweek had a close-up picture of Palin and they DID NOT RETOUCH it! I'm so ashamed of these magazine companies! How dare they allow Palin to be her natural self and not some fake beauty queen! I'm going to cancel my subscription right now, damn it! Newsweek is a liberal, elitist company that...

Wait a second. I just realized I don't care about celebrities. And since this incident basically puts Palin at celebrity status, I refuse to talk about it any longer.

God, I'm really ashamed of America sometimes.

So, my bird was crawling all over my phone while I was talking to it on speaker. How cute!

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

Thursday, October 9, 2008

I Hate Technology

Seriously. How hard should it be to add Flickr? It should be a nice, self-explanatory piece of cake. But no. Instead, the freakin' layout is off. And it refuses to show updates. And at the bottom is :jQuery("#html_code").val(code_start + code_middle + code_end). And it WON'T GO AWAY.

I'm officially giving up. Maybe I'll try again tomorrow, after I've had a full night's sleep. Until then, here's my updates:

I'm freezing.
I'm thirsty.
My nose hurts.

This is why I should break this computer.
-TS

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I Hate... South Park?

No, I'm still an extremely loyal South Park fan. I love the works of Matt Stone and Trey Parker and still think they're TOTAL geniuses. Perhaps I'm being hypocritical...

But I think this episode went too far with the "Indiana Jones" joke. For those of you who saw this episode, you'll understand what I mean.

By all means, South Park is SUPPOSED to be a lowbrow, insensitive program that doesn't really care about anyone or anything. (Except good movie quality). It also relies mainly on shock value. However, that was no reason for them to show George Lucas humping Indiana Jones while Steven Spielberg holds him down. This joke was handled extremely well at the beginning when the boys were in the movie theatre, exaggerating the situation. After Kyle's dream, it all went downhill from there, and each vision of SS and GL "raping" Indiana Jones made me more and more uncomfortable as the show went on. I was praying for them to cut back to Cartman and Butters attempting to "stop" the Chinese from taking over the world. Then, what really got me was Cartman saying it wasn't cool to shoot a guy in the dick. Nah, butshowing Indiana Jones being raped is totally alright.

I understand you are upset about Indiana Jones and the aliens being in this new movie and all, but this joke could've been done more tastefully throughout, such as it was in the beginning. Your point could've gotten across in a more humorous and high-quality lowbrow way.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

Sunday, October 5, 2008

I Love Classical Music

And I'm not old and not stuck up! Wow, I bet you thought that was impossible, right?

In the wake of all my recent political/social commentary, I decided to say something about music. Right now, my on-the-go play list includes Billy Joel, 4 Strings, Within Temptation, Slipknot...

And The Devil's Trill.

I listen to modern music all the time, and I love it. But nothing is more profound, more enlightening than classical. In my sociology class (ignoring my disgust with the course in general), I learned that words are just symbols, existing only to designate meaning to abstract ideas. So lyrical music, by definition, is weighed down by these symbols, attempting to grasp an idea through words. But some things cannot be expressed through words.

That's why classical music is more profound. Instead of trying to chain the abstract with mere words, it embraces it. It soars to heights unattainable through lyrics, and most people don't get that. Which I completely understand. By nature, I am an abstract person, but some people are not. For some, concrete ideas are better.

No matter which you prefer, the impact of classical music lies beyond lyrics (no matter how rhythmic and cool), instead touching the soul (not to sound cheesy or anything). Personally, I feel more uplifted when I listen to Valse de Fleurs than Summer Sun, and I feel tragedy greater through The Devil's Trill than Tonight I Wanna Cry.

Of course, I'm high on NyQuil, so my opinion probably means nothing.

This is why I should be president.
-TS

P.S. Wow... my second blog in two days... I'm setting a record! Let's see if I can keep it up.

P.S.S. A friend of mine inspired this by referring to classical music as "boring," so I felt like responding in a post that he'll most likely never read. I can never come up with good arguments at the time...

Saturday, October 4, 2008

I Love Debates

Which is why I, as a future president, should take part in them. So, in honor of the VP debate on Thursday, I will answer the questions pose to the VP candidates (as potential president, of course.)

Gwen Ifill: Was the bailout the best or worst of Washington?
TS: Neither. It was a sad attempt to resolve a problem created by Washington in the first place.

GI: How would you, as President, work to shrink the gap of polarization in Washington?
TS: I would first surround myself with both Republicans and Democrats, as the President needs to be kept in check. I would also create bi-partisan sub-committees for -everything-, forcing the parties to work together. Because I do not vote strictly along party lines, I will not expect any other representative to.

GI: Who do you think was at fault for the sub prime lending meltdown?
TS: "Darn right it was the predator lenders!" Just kidding. Each party was at fault. Whether or not lenders deceived citizens, those receiving loans are also to blame. People should take responsibility for their own mistakes and stop blaming Wall Street for everything. Yes, corporations are unmoral greed-monsters, but Americans shouldn't let themselves be coerced into taking stupid risks that they can't afford to pay for.

GI: Taxes?
TS: People who earn more money should pay higher taxes than those who earn less. American society provided the means for the wealthy to become successful, so they should contribute more to it.

GI: What promises have you made that you can't keep?
TS: None, because I haven't made any promises.

GI: Climate change. What's true or false about it?
TS: It's not completely man-made, but the human population is contributing to it. While it is important to develop alternative energy sources, such sources would not produce enough energy for years. I do not support nuclear power or offshore drilling due to the environmental risks and costs of clean-up. Again, the people of the US need to take responsibility and stop whining. Buy a more fuel-efficient car or carpool.

GI:Do you support, as they do in Alaska, granting same-sex benefits to couples?
TS: Yes.

GI: Do you support gay marriage?
TS: Yes. I understand the horrible problem of redefining the term "marriage," which would cause the apocalypse. Much like how our ancestors were cruelly forced to redefine the term "woman" as "a human being with rights" instead of "subservient being." So, to resolve this problem, I suggest calling a union between members of the same sex as "gmarriage." (gah-marriage)

GI: Exit strategy in Iraq?
TS: Um, yes. That would be good. Let's exit. Within two years. Y'know, maybe keep a few troops over there for the next fifty years like in Korea, since that's the environment the Bush administration has created.

GI: What's the greater threat, a nuclear Iran or an unstable Afghanistan?
TS: A nuclear Iran. Because you never said anything about Afghanistan possessing nuclear (NU-clee-ar) weapons, so I'd rather have an unstable unarmed nation than an armed psycho nation.

GI: What should be the trigger if nuclear weaponry is put into play?
TS: I don't know, but it we nuke one enemy we have to nuke them all. So they don't get any ideas. Y'know, if we have to bomb Iran, than we need to take care of Pakistan, North Korea, Russia, and France in the process.

THE END (because everything else I didn't understand)

This is why I should be president.
-TS