Stop the fucking presses!
What? The economy's going to shit, troops are still being deployed to Iraq, and the dollar bill is at its lowest value ever?
Fuck that shit!
Newsweek had a close-up picture of Palin and they DID NOT RETOUCH it! I'm so ashamed of these magazine companies! How dare they allow Palin to be her natural self and not some fake beauty queen! I'm going to cancel my subscription right now, damn it! Newsweek is a liberal, elitist company that...Wait a second. I just realized I don't care about celebrities. And since this incident basically puts Palin at celebrity status, I refuse to talk about it any longer.
God, I'm really ashamed of America sometimes.
So, my bird was crawling all over my phone while I was talking to it on speaker. How cute!
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
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