I Hate Ads

Google sponsers some of the weirdest shit. I'll TRY to write this without going into the whole "Twilight vs. Harry Potter" ads. (Even though Harry Potter is obviously superior... duh.)

I came across this little jewel.

Is he? Does he ever compliment your blouse, and actually call it a blouse? Does he know fashion lines? Will he tolerate a Top Model marathon with you? Does he help you pick out your outfit for special occasions? Does he -gasp- actually take care of himself?! Comb his hair and everything? Clip his nails, and actually care what he looks like in public?

Gay. Your man is gay.

Don't even get me started on the weight loss blogs. As a female internet user, I must hate my body.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Hate Weight

Dear Radio Announcer:

Why do you feel the need to mention Kelly Clarkson's weight every time her song plays? Seriously, do you ever listen to your broadcasts before you head home for the night? Listen to all the comments you make about Kelly Clarkson's weight, and saying something such as "That was the pleasantly plump Kelly Clarkson with..."

Please, just tell me why. I mean you never say anything like "That was the incredibly bitter and sexist Eminem." No, it's always something about Kelly Clarkson or Britney Spears.

It would be great if you could refrain from these childish comments, and just say that it's Kelly Clarkson's new song, without mentioning her weight. K?

Love,

-BJ

PS- You suck and I hate you.

I Love Greeks

One of my friends, we'll call her GW, goes to a Greek orthodox church. Apparently, one day in Sunday school they talked about a movie called The Silent Scream, which argues that a fetus can feel pain. For evidence, according to GW (I've never seen the film), images of an 11-week old fetus during an abortion were shown, and the fetus's mouth looked like it was screaming (hence the title). At the time of my discussion with GW, I had no evidence with which to refute this claim.

But now I do!

In an article published in the Journal of the American Medical Association(1), researchers concluded that

Pain is an emotional and psychological experience that requires conscious
recognition of a noxious stimulus. Consequently, the capacity for conscious
perception of pain can arise only after
thalamocortical pathways begin to
function, which may occur in the third trimester around 29 to 30 weeks’
gestational age, based on the limited data available.

So, basically, it is kind of impossible for a fetus to feel pain until the third trimester (as a general rule, of course). Argue with that.

This is why I should be President.
-TS

PS: I think I should win a prize for a title which has almost nothing to do with the post :)

1)Lee, Susan J., Ralston, Henry J. Peter, Drey, Eleanor A., Partridge, John Colin, & Rosen, Mark A. (2005). Fetal Pain: A Systematic Multidisciplinary Review of the Evidence. Journal of the American Medical Association, 294 (8), 947-954.

PS2) Note that the source I used was published in a scientific, peer reviewed journal, and the source GW used was a video put out by Several Sources Shelters, a non-profit Christian organization *cough*biased*cough*. Just saying...

PS3) I still love you, GW!

I Hate Readers

This Article is a MUST READ!

Some of these people are disgusting. I'm so sick of hearing these "Oh Rihanna must have provoked Chris Brown" comments. Luckily, a few sane people are quick to say that Brown was, in fact, in the wrong when he attacked Rihanna.

The fact of the matter is, Rihanna was covered in bruises, and Brown was hiding in the back of a vehicle with a blanket over his head. Even if she said something to provoke him, what he did (if he did it, which I'm going to assume for the blog's purposes) was unacceptable. Now, if she hit him, I'm not saying he shouldn't have acted in self-defense, but considering that she suffered "a swollen split lip and two red and purple contusions on either side of her forehead", this was not self defense. Let's also take into consideration that reports state that Brown fled the scene.

In that same article above ("fled the scene") his cousin defends him, insisting that he was not brought up to beat a woman, and again uses the "she must have provoked him" BS excuse. Ah, let's not forget that his mother suffered domestic abuse at the hands of his stepfather.

I am a fan of Chris Brown. I like his music, and I think he's pretty fortunate looking. However, this should not and WILL not be used as an excuse to stand by him, and shame on those who do.

Rihanna, get well soon. Chris Brown, get a fucking counselor.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

PS- I was supposed to do an abstinence blog, but I'll get on that tomorrow. I'm gonna go run.

I Love Top Model

Despite my irks with Tyra last season about choosing McKey over Analeigh, I can't keep away from my guilty pleasures for long. I looked up the contestants for Cycle 12, since Barack "Magical Miracle Black Man of Equality" Obama is now Pres, and politics have taken a back seat (though I'm sure one of us might do a blog about the bailout).

Anyways, here are the contestants. I'll say what I think and what I think should be done to them at makeovers.

Isabella- At first glance, I was hesitant, but the more I look, the more I like her. Give her a frayed, edgy short hair cut or dye it dark red (think Adrianne Curry) and then put her in a photo. However, she does have the same name as the main character in book-that-shall-not-be-named.

Jessica- I'm not sure. She looks like Jaslene with a rounder face. She'd have to prove herself in a photo. She needs a honey brown dye job or caramel highlights.

Kortine-I don't think she'll go very far, so expect her in the final three =P... Don't care much for her outfit, though I may just steal those boots. Should she make it to makeovers, I expect a lot more volume and perhaps some lowlights.

London- Not to jump to conclusions, but she looks like she just might be the bitch of the cycle at first glance. Not very modelesque, more like adorable. I'd like her to go very light blonde.

Natalie- That shirt does not do her justice at ALL... love her legs, though. She'll probably go light with layers added.

Nijah- This picture is very "Modeling 101." For her makeover, I'd suggest a long weave to to the middle of her back.

Sandra- I'm not too sure... she looks like a catalog model. They'll do the obvious and shave the rest of her hair off, probably.

Tahlia- WTF is up with that mom sweater?? Seriously, though she just looks so much like a mom in another catalog ad. They probably add more curls and waves in a same colored weave.

Teyona- By far, has the most beautiful skin... in her face. Why is the rest of her body lighter than her face? Anyways, for her, I want a long, dark, straight weave with a bold bang. Think Bre from cycle 5 mixed with Brittany from cycle 4.

Allison- Uh-oh. She looks like she gonna be the high fashion girl with very little confidence. (Shandi, cycle 2, Lauren, cycle 10, Marjorie, cycle 11, etc). They should pull a Shandi with this one and give her platinum blonde with big curls.

Aminat- She got the street beauty, but does she have the model beauty? We'll find out. Tyra likes afros, so she'll probably keep it.

Celia- Much too "mall' pretty. She reminds me of Whitney with the blonde weave. She should get a stylish asymmetrical bob.

Fo- Again, "street" pretty, but not sure about model pretty. Maybe she should get a bob... well, I'm rooting for a short haircut for her. Some fringy layers would do her good.

Tell me what you think of the models.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

Stephen King Hates Twilight

For real!!! Stephen King, whom I adore, hates You-Know-What (... I know I just said it...) Check out his interview:

http://blogs.usaweekend.com/whos_news/2009/02/exclusive-steph.html

He says:
"...The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good."

I haven't been through all of the comments, but the first one made me crack up. In it, a 24 year old college graduate disses King:

"King is demented and once he quits writing his books will fade away. I don't see any lit teachers doing a section on him in the future.
I'm am 24, female, with a college degree and I loved the twilight books."

Because Twilight will definitely be discussed by lit teachers... and that will be the day that my children shall be homeschooled.

Stephen King has more talent in the proton on the nucleus of the smallest cell on his pinky than Stephenie Meyer has, or could dream of having, in her whole body (not an exaggeration).

This is why I should be president.
-TS