I Hate Slipknot

I don't really know why I called the post that, but I did. I guess I don't really hate Slipknot... just most of their music. And fans (except for Mars... I don't hate her). But I digress.

I was listening to the song "Rock and Roll All Night" by Kiss earlier. For some reason I picked the live version. The first thing I noticed was that they were oddly motivational and nice:



Transcript: "Y'all having a good time tonight! Y'all feel important tonight, 'cause you are very important.Want y'all to know we love ya, we celebrate ya, we are proud to share this great country with ya, and no matter how tough times may get, y'all gotta take a little time to ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND PARTY EVERYDAY!"

That struck me as odd. In my experience, rock and metal bands aren't supposed to be nice. At least, none of the ones I know of (the ones that claim to be hardcore, at least). Then I remembered a conversation I had with Mars a few weeks ago after she'd went to a Slipknot concert. She'd told me the things Slipknot had said to their fans (apparently "maggots" was a term of endearment... okay). So I looked up a video to demonstrate this. Unfortunately, I couldn't find one with all of the things she told me:



Transcript: "Now let's get it the fuck on, this song is called "Before I Forget." Here we are. I wanna see twenty thousand *censored censored censored something that's probably "in the air" censored*."

Side rant: The only reason I had to type "censored" was because I honestly couldn't understand what the fuck they were saying through the beeps. I hate when people censor things in videos that poorly.

While i don't really care that Slipknot says "fuck" a lot, probably using it "endearingly," it still makes me wonder... what's the point? I mean, KISS was pumping up the audience by complimenting them and boosting their egos... Slipknot pumped the audience up by cursing. Either way, of course, people probably were pummeled in mosh pits :)

It makes me miss the good ole days, when most rock and roll songs were about how great rock and roll was and how fucked up war was and all that. Now they're about... well, from what I can tell it's a healthy mix of whining about the government (which is fair game, I suppose) and whining about the pains of living in a developed "first world" country and shitting hundred dollar bills.

Not that I'm judging anyone, of course. And there are bands I like out there. And if you like Slipknot, that's fine. I'm not going to judge your character based on the fact that you like to watch grown men run around with masks on playing with lights (to be fair, though, KISS's make up was equally retarded... but they were first).

Peace out.

This is why I should be president (because I would actually follow the Bill of Rights

-TS

I Hate Sunburn

Yesterday, BJ and I decided to play tennis and go swimming. We woke up at 9:30, only to discover that I was out of sunscreen. Instead of giving up on our plans of a delightful day outside, we decided to walk to the neighborhood gas station to buy sunscreen. Once we left my apartment, though, BJ realized that she had left her clutch inside. The clutch in which I had put the key.

In an act of desperation, we raced to the apartment office building, hoping to convince management to lend us a key. Alas, as it was Sunday the building was closed until noon. BJ and I trekked back to my apartment in defeat, unsure of our next move. When we arrived back, I attempted to break in using her hair clip. Not only did that not work, but we got the clip stuck in the door. Just as we were about to lose all hope and jump off the building, one of my neighbors walked up. We asked if he would lend us a credit card, and he did. Unfortunately, I could not open the door; so I called our friend Mars. This was the conversation we had:

Me: Hey, Mars. Are you doing anything?

Mars: Yes. I'm about to leave for the Renaissance Fair with my dad.

Me: Oh. Can you stop by my apartment on the way here? BJ and I locked ourselves out.

Luckily, Mars agreed. I'm not sure what I expected her to do, but it was nice having someone we know come over.

A few minutes later, Mars pulled into the parking lot (in full renaissance costume). She, her dad, and her stepmom stepped out of the car. After a few minutes of searching for an acceptable credit card, her stepmom handed a Dillard's card to Mars' dad. Who handed it to Mars, who handed it to BJ... who handed it to me. Sigh. The burden is always placed on me.

Bracing myself, I mentally prepared for the task ahead of me, What if I failed? What if BJ and I were trapped outside in the bitter wilderness for the next two hours? No, I couldn't think of that. I could only try and pray for the best.

After a few moments with no results, I was about to give up. Until... yes! I shoved the credit card in, prying the lock open! Thanking Mars, BJ and I ran in, grabbed her clutch, and walked to the gas station.

Once there, we searched for sunscreen. We didn't find anythng right away, so in a panic we cornered the worker, interrogating him as to the whereabouts of the sunscreen. He pointed us to a remote aisle, one we had already searched but could be hiding the item. We quickly made our way to the aisle. Once there, we looked hard for the sunscreen... but we found only lip balm and condoms. Unfortnately, the protection we wanted was from the sun.

We went back to the counter, lost and confused. When we asked the guy at the counter why we had been unable to locate sunscreen, he told us that they did not carry the item.

In a furious rage, BJ jumped over the counter and began strangling the employee for sending us on a wild goose chase.

We said ok and left. Without sunscreen. So now I have a sunburn, which hurts like the dickens.

This is why I should be President.

-TS