I Hate Music

As many of you know, Ms. Britney Spears has stirred up controversy. Again. Her new song, which, IMHO, is a tongue-in-cheek play on words, is called "If You Seek Amy." When said slurred together, it sounds like "ef-you-see-kay-me." Fuck me. I didn't notice it at first because of my habit of annunciating my 'k's. Well, parents are complaining because if children listen to this song, it will apparently rape their innocence to death. Even though if someone under the age of... let's go with 10-11, understands the meaning of the pun, they weren't that innocent to begin with. To experiment, I had my little sister listen to it to see if she'd get the pun.

Me: Did you like the song?
Sister Thing: Yes, it's catchy.
Me: Did you understand the meaning of the song?
Sister Thing: She's looking for another girl at a party.

Her childhood naivety and innocence are gone. What have I done?!?!?!

I guess what I don't understand is that why parents are so concerned about a hidden meaning that children probably wont find when there are many more demeaning songs towards women that are a lot more obvious. I'll only use examples that have played on the radio to be fair.

Chorus to Li'l Wayne's "Lollipop":
She she lick me like a lollipop (lollipop)
She she lick me like a lollipop (lollipop)
She she lick me like a lollipop (yeah)
She she lick me like a lollipop
Shawty wanna thug
Bottles in the club
Shawty wanna hump
Ya know I like to touch ya lovely lady lumps
( Repeat 2x )

Chorus to Ying Yang Twins' "Saltshaker":
Shawty crunk on the floor wide open
Skeet so much they call her Billy Ocean
Roll like an eighteen wheeler
That ho fine but this ho killer
She leakin, she's soakin' wet
She leakin, soakin' wet
Shake it like a salt shaker (shake it like a salt shaker)
Shake it like a salt shaker (shake it like a salt shaker)

And my personal favorite, Chorus to Eminem and Nate Dogg's "Shake That Ass":
Shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
C'mon girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Oh girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
C'mon girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
We bout' to have a party (turn the music up)
Let's get it started (go ahead shake your butt)
I'm looking for a girl with a body and a sexy strut
Wanna get it poppin baby step right up
Some girls they act retarded
Some girls are bout it bout it
I'm looking for a girl that will do whatever the fuck
I say everyday she be giving it up.

Mmmm. Misogyny. A dish best served hot.

Now, here's the lyrics to "If You Seek Amy."
Love me hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy
Love me hate me
But can't you see what I see
All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy

I'm going to make a new song one day, and the chorus will be something like "I walk into the bar/All the boys are just objects/My toys to play with for the night."

I'm clever as shit.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ