I Hate MJ

Dear Michael Jackson, (aka, King of Pop, MJ, the -original- Pedobear, etc.)

I'm sorry the media treated you as the butt of plastic surgery and pedophile jokes for the last who knows how many years. Now, being the two faced asshole the media tends to be, they suddenly find you cool now that you're six feet under and you can't make a comeback tour. I mean, if you had just taped a shitload of rehearsals ahead of time, you could've pulled a Heath Ledger.

I'll be honest, though, I think it was your fate all along, and you might've embarrassed yourself on the comeback tour, so God was all like "Fuck it, I'll just end this bastard's suffering right now."

So anyways, I felt kinda bad seeing you in a negative light my entire life then suddenly your heart stops and everyone's like "O YAH MJ WUZ DA GR8EST ILL MIZ HIM SOOO MUCH!!11ZSHIFTYELEVEN!!!111lolwhut" It really fucks up my perspective of you.

If it's any consolation (which it's not, 'cause you're dead! =D <--- Inappropriate smiley is inappropriate), I'd love to travel back in time and be your psychiatrist. I'm a good listener.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

PS- I don't think you were a pedophile.... really......I never did..... swear to God.....totally didn't.....

PSS- At least you've got Ed McMann, Billy Mays and Farrah Fawcett with you to keep you company, yo. Bet my bird Patrick Swayze will join you next! =D (Still inappropriate...)