I Hate Avodart

All you women know what I'm talking about. That damn Avodart, the hot new prostate medication that is "only for men." Seriously, I've heard of sexism, but this is beyond my wildest feminist imagination. (But apparently me and a panda-spider protecting Michael Jackson from the police is not. <---Was a dream I had.)

Anyways, I was watching television, ignoring my duties as a popular political internet blogger, when SUDDENLY, I see a commercial for Avodart. At first the commercial seemed harmless enough, and I went back to slurping up shrimp ramen or doing stuff on my father's laptop. (Like watching Nostalgia Chick reviews.) When, at the end of the commercial, I clearly hear the narrator declare:

"Avodart is only for men."

OK, now my blood is seriously boiling. What wa selfish brand of prostate medicine! I mean, what the hell, Avodart? What am I supposed to do when MY prostate starts enlarging, and I can't control when I need to use the bathroom? Are you telling me that I, as a woman, just have to accept the fact that there are no prostate medicines out there for us, and that if we don't have adult diapers handy by the time our prostates enlarge, we're SOL?

Well, I say "fuck you" to Avodart and their selfish marketing.

This is why I should be President. (And obviously not a doctor. ;D)

-BJ

I Hate Liberals

OK, so I was a bit confused when I went to the political subcategory on Amazon books... because the main page is filled with conservative propaganda! (As opposed to liberal propaganda, of course...). The rank bestsellers (as of 3:01 am) are as follows:


1.Glenn Beck's Common Sense (Kindle Edition)- Glenn Beck
2. Glenn Beck's Common Sense (Book edition)- GB
3. Liberty and Tyranny: A Conservative Manifesto (Kindle Edition)- Mark R. Levin
4. " " " " " " " (Book Edition)- " " "
5. Catastrophe (Kindle Edition)- Dick Morris
6. " " (BE) " " " " ""
7. 5000 Year Leap (Glenn Beck Foreword)- W. Cleon Skousen*
8. not propaganda
9. 5000 Year Leap-W. Cleon Skousen
10 & 11. Common Sense- Thomas Paine (not propaganda... anymore)

12. Liberal Fascism- Jonah Goldberg

etc.


First, I don't like how Amazon lists the Kindle version and the book version of a book separately, but I guess the delivery might be off so people would comment on that. But still... I haven't seen a bestseller's list so horrifying since... well, since a few minutes ago when I was on random pages and Twilight dominated EVERYTHING.


And it made me wonder why conservatives were selling so many books... and then it hit me.


It's because liberals don't read.


I mean, we're too busy getting high and having butt sex and getting fetuses sucked out to read. But that shouldn't be an excuse not to buy the liberal propaganda... it would give you something to swat the Jehovah's Witnesses away with. And the rating on these books should be significantly lower. If I've learned anything from Amazon, it's that you don't need to have read a book to judge it, bash it, and completely trash talk fans of it based on the author and/or your personal biases toward the subject matter (take THAT Glenn Beck!).

But whatever you do, don't read! If we take a break from sex/drugs/killing babies, then the conservatives will have won!

This is why I should be president (because they don't read either).
-TS

*I didn't actually check to see if this was conservative propaganda... but it has a forward by Glenn Beck, so I would probably wager my life that it is.

PS: Bill O'Reilly's biography is four stars... that's crap. I don't care how well-written it might be, the subject matter is crap (looking at the person he is today, I'm pretty sure I don't want to read about his childhood). Remember- you don't have to read it to judge it.

PSS: I'm currently reading (while doing other things, mind you (like listening to death metal, a perfectly valid liberal past time)) Stephen Colbert's book, so this might sound like a parody.

I Hate Slipknot

I don't really know why I called the post that, but I did. I guess I don't really hate Slipknot... just most of their music. And fans (except for Mars... I don't hate her). But I digress.

I was listening to the song "Rock and Roll All Night" by Kiss earlier. For some reason I picked the live version. The first thing I noticed was that they were oddly motivational and nice:



Transcript: "Y'all having a good time tonight! Y'all feel important tonight, 'cause you are very important.Want y'all to know we love ya, we celebrate ya, we are proud to share this great country with ya, and no matter how tough times may get, y'all gotta take a little time to ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND PARTY EVERYDAY!"

That struck me as odd. In my experience, rock and metal bands aren't supposed to be nice. At least, none of the ones I know of (the ones that claim to be hardcore, at least). Then I remembered a conversation I had with Mars a few weeks ago after she'd went to a Slipknot concert. She'd told me the things Slipknot had said to their fans (apparently "maggots" was a term of endearment... okay). So I looked up a video to demonstrate this. Unfortunately, I couldn't find one with all of the things she told me:



Transcript: "Now let's get it the fuck on, this song is called "Before I Forget." Here we are. I wanna see twenty thousand *censored censored censored something that's probably "in the air" censored*."

Side rant: The only reason I had to type "censored" was because I honestly couldn't understand what the fuck they were saying through the beeps. I hate when people censor things in videos that poorly.

While i don't really care that Slipknot says "fuck" a lot, probably using it "endearingly," it still makes me wonder... what's the point? I mean, KISS was pumping up the audience by complimenting them and boosting their egos... Slipknot pumped the audience up by cursing. Either way, of course, people probably were pummeled in mosh pits :)

It makes me miss the good ole days, when most rock and roll songs were about how great rock and roll was and how fucked up war was and all that. Now they're about... well, from what I can tell it's a healthy mix of whining about the government (which is fair game, I suppose) and whining about the pains of living in a developed "first world" country and shitting hundred dollar bills.

Not that I'm judging anyone, of course. And there are bands I like out there. And if you like Slipknot, that's fine. I'm not going to judge your character based on the fact that you like to watch grown men run around with masks on playing with lights (to be fair, though, KISS's make up was equally retarded... but they were first).

Peace out.

This is why I should be president (because I would actually follow the Bill of Rights

-TS

I Hate Being Homeless

It's a damn good thing I'm not homeless, then. Unlike Azhar, the child star of "Slumdog Millionare."

Link Here

Why is it that this child starred in an Oscar winning film, yet hes homeless now? Now, I undetsand that they didn't exactly pay him Brad Pitt's salary when it came to starring in the film, but how in the world could people let this happen? A penniless child star in America would never fly!

Oh wait...

As Christian Bale would say, "THINK for one fucking second!" Is this really what America's overconsumption has led to? I'm in no position to lecture anyone, but I'm pretty sure Americans need to open their eyes.

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Love Bills

As in, those passed by Congress to look pretty. Like this one:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/20/us/politics/20web-credit.html?_r=1&nl=pol&emc=pola1

I think this bill wins the award for "Bill-which-undermines-the-American-people's-sense-of-responsibility."

It's like the government is saying, "Okay... we've given you people enough time to realize that you shouldn't abuse credit cards, and you haven't learned your lesson. Since you're too dumb to understand, we'll do it for you."

And I love the language they use:

"We stood up for consumers and stood up to abusive credit card companies."-
Harry Reid

Translation:

Consumers=helpless geek at school

Credit card companies=playground bully

Harry Reid=Superman


“Any effort to restore confidence in our economy must start not on Wall Street but in Main Street, and that’s what the credit card situation is all about."- Harry Reid


Translation: Average Americans are the imbeciles who started this, so we have to clean up their mess.



And, basically, they're right. The credit card companies might be preying on consumers, but consumers are easy prey.

Among other things, the Senate measure would prohibit companies from
raising interest rates on existing balances unless a card holder was 60 days
behind, and then it would require the rate to be restored to its previous level
if payments were on time for six months. Consumers would have to be notified of
rate increases 45 days in advance. And companies could not charge a late fee if
they were late processing a payment.

Statements would have to be mailed 21 days before a payment was due. It
would be harder for companies to issue cards to people under age 21. Rates could
not be increased within the first year, and promotional rates would be in force
for at least six months.

This all sounds like a good idea, right? And maybe it'll help a few people. But the one thing this bill ignores is Americans' decision-making abilities, which tend to be pretty poor. Because no matter how much reform the government does, it's still easier for people to charge it than save.



This is why I should be president.

-TS

It's almost that time again. Top Model LIVE BLOG OMGZ. Fuck yeah. Here's my prediction for the callout:

Teyona
Allison
Aminat

OR

Allison
Teyona
Aminat

I'm sorry to say that I won't tolerate my favorite girl leaving like I did last time. I'll turn the TV off and find something better to do if Allison isn't in the final 2. I know, that is SO dreadful! My nonexistent readers must be crying a river by now! (Not like Teyona, seriously, wtf kind of breakdown was that?! Somebody get Fo...)

This is why I should be President.

-BJ

I Hate Top Model

Crawling?

Crawling?

CRAWLING?!

CRAWLING?!!?!?!!

Please, Tyra. PLEASE tell me this cycle's final runway does NOT involve crawling.

Also, tell me Allison makes it to the final two and rocks it over Teyona. Please?

This is why I should be President.

-BJ