Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I Hate Abstinence

Lorenzo: Gosh, Angelita, I'm really turned on by your womanly curves right now.

Angelita: (takes off her bra) Wow. I feel super excited! Let's have sex!

Lorenzo: Alrighty!

(They get naked and take off all of their clothes. Both are really turned on.)

Lorenzo: Darn... I don't have a condom.

Angelita: Shucks.

(Both sigh)

Angelita: Wait! In sex ed we learned that condoms fail forty percent of the time anyway, which is close to fifty. So we might as well not use one, right?

Lorenzo: You betcha!

(Have sex. Lorenzo gets herpes. The End.)

This is why I should be president (and not a playwright)
-TS

PS: By "I Hate Abstinence," I mean "I Hate the Abstinence Only Movement"... but that was too long.

PSS: Yes, people really do talk like that. At least, if it's a rerun of Leave it to Beaver.

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