Chalk another one up for the TS&BJ hate list: Pro-life looney*, Jill Stanek!
Ts, if you're reading this, you've probably never heard of this woman, but, trust me, I know you will truly despise her as much as I do at this moment.
She's completely insane, believing every word that spews out of her mouth to be true (and how can that be, when being right all the time is a privilege reserved for only TS and I?) and her supporters are just as hypocritical. In fact, as I've observed, her supporters believe it's OK for them to be demeaning and hypocritical, simply because they believe all liberals are that way. They also believe they intimidate liberals and pro-choicers, and that liberals are "cowardly" because they run away from what I like to call, "Internet Blog Comment Arguments." Wow, guys, way to rise above us "childish and cowardly" liberals. (By the way, I've observed this "cowardly" behavior from Stanek herself on Feministing. ;) )
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
*Disclaimer- This is not to say all pro-lifers are loonies. In my opinion, however, Jill Stanek is most certainly a grade A looney.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
I Love Brad Pitt
Via MSNBC:
Partial Transcript:
He's right- he wouldn't stand a chance. Even with my support, he would still lose, because New Orleans is in the south, a strange place where gay marriage, no religion, and marijuana don't exist.
But what does this say about my future campaign? If Brad Pitt can't win New Orleans, can I win America?
Of course! Brad Pitt may be awesome, but he isn't me.
This is why I should be president.
-TS
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
Partial Transcript:
"Would you serve?”
“Yeah. I’m running on the gay marriage, no
religion, legalization and taxation of marijuana platform,” he joked.
That comment drew a measured “OK” from Curry.
“I don’t have a
chance,” Pitt predicted.
He's right- he wouldn't stand a chance. Even with my support, he would still lose, because New Orleans is in the south, a strange place where gay marriage, no religion, and marijuana don't exist.
But what does this say about my future campaign? If Brad Pitt can't win New Orleans, can I win America?
Of course! Brad Pitt may be awesome, but he isn't me.
This is why I should be president.
-TS
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I Love Edward
Watching BJ air-humping cardboard cut-outs of him, that is. We found this in Saturday Matinee, the movie store in the mall:
Note the child in the background... I made BJ do it quick so he wouldn't turn around and see.
This is why I should be president.
-TS
Monday, August 10, 2009
I Hate This Shit
I'm attempting, in vain, it seems, to contact my local Werehnberg Theatre so that I can find out if "Ponyo" is showing on Friday.
Damn it, I want to talk to a real fucking person, not some robot who doesn't understand a fucking thing I say.
Are you really that busy that you refuse to talk to customers over the phone? Instead, you give me this unlikable robot woman who asks me to repeat myself, like, once before she gives up on me and I have to go through the whole process of calling the theatre and pressing the numbers all over again.
God, the Nintendo Company is more personal than you! At least I can easily get a hold of a real person on the other line.
This is why I should be President. (No more of this shit!)
-BJ.
Damn it, I want to talk to a real fucking person, not some robot who doesn't understand a fucking thing I say.
Are you really that busy that you refuse to talk to customers over the phone? Instead, you give me this unlikable robot woman who asks me to repeat myself, like, once before she gives up on me and I have to go through the whole process of calling the theatre and pressing the numbers all over again.
God, the Nintendo Company is more personal than you! At least I can easily get a hold of a real person on the other line.
This is why I should be President. (No more of this shit!)
-BJ.
Friday, August 7, 2009
I Hate Breasts
Yes, folks. Breasts are B-A-D! All breasts are plotting the downfall of societies everywhere, not to mention they are the reason so many teenage girls are getting knocked up.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "Isn't teenage pregnancy rising because of the abstinence movement? Because schools are now refusing to teach teens how to properly put condoms on, and tell girls where birth control can be easily accessed?"
OF COURSE NOT! How can you be so stupid? It's because women are tempting men with their evil breasts. All women should just leave their dumb boobs at home. In fact, why are they out and about, and not making sandwiches in the kitchen? (Because boobs are making them do it, duh.)
Now, I go on my little rant about the evils of boobies because of the hot new toy stirring up controversy.
Baby Glutton comes with a halter top that has daisies in the boob area. When Baby Glutton is placed next to the daisies, it makes a sucking noise, imitating the act of breastfeeding. It's the hot new toy and I'm pretty sure it originates in Mexico... of course! Who else would make such a vile toy? How dare these Mexicans teach our children that breasts are for something other than tempting men to have sex with you? How dare you try and tell me that it's OK to teach little kids about the completely unnatural act of breastfeeding!
Luckily, Fox News is right alongside me on this one.
What did we learn today? Well, we learned that breasts are good for nothing except giving men something nice to look at. It's not like multiple studies show the benefit of breastfeeding or anything. Forget about keeping your child healthy; breasts are only for sexual pleasure (of men, of course) and have absolutely no important biological function.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Now, I know what you're thinking: "Isn't teenage pregnancy rising because of the abstinence movement? Because schools are now refusing to teach teens how to properly put condoms on, and tell girls where birth control can be easily accessed?"
OF COURSE NOT! How can you be so stupid? It's because women are tempting men with their evil breasts. All women should just leave their dumb boobs at home. In fact, why are they out and about, and not making sandwiches in the kitchen? (Because boobs are making them do it, duh.)
Now, I go on my little rant about the evils of boobies because of the hot new toy stirring up controversy.
Baby Glutton comes with a halter top that has daisies in the boob area. When Baby Glutton is placed next to the daisies, it makes a sucking noise, imitating the act of breastfeeding. It's the hot new toy and I'm pretty sure it originates in Mexico... of course! Who else would make such a vile toy? How dare these Mexicans teach our children that breasts are for something other than tempting men to have sex with you? How dare you try and tell me that it's OK to teach little kids about the completely unnatural act of breastfeeding!
Luckily, Fox News is right alongside me on this one.
What did we learn today? Well, we learned that breasts are good for nothing except giving men something nice to look at. It's not like multiple studies show the benefit of breastfeeding or anything. Forget about keeping your child healthy; breasts are only for sexual pleasure (of men, of course) and have absolutely no important biological function.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Monday, August 3, 2009
I Hate Multiple Rants
I seriously couldn't decide which one to blog about first, but they're both fairly short rants, so I figured I could get away with posting two completely different topics in one blog.
To start off: I've already ranted about Taylor Swift once on this blog and how her songs play on the radio too damn often to be justified. Yet, I was listening to Love Story the other day (I'm too lazy to turn the radio off), and realized something I should have realized a long time ago:
Taylor Swift isn't fucking Country. Her songs shouldn't be considered country, and if you listen to them multiple times, you begin to realize what a goddamn poser this sad excuse for a singer is. Hell, I'd even accept (some.... SOME) of Miley Cyrus' songs because she at least has a southern accent. People should realize that Taylor Swift's songs are the farthest thing from country we are ever going to get, and she should be stripped of her title of being the first country singer to have a Top 40 song.
Excuse me, did Carrie Underwood disappear off the face of the earth or something?
OK, now we move on to the second rant, which follows the blog theme a little better, even though we haven't been doing that for a while now.... =D
Apparently, Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger has decided that the safety of women isn't worth having the state of California go into debt. He has completely cut funds for Domestic Violence shelters in California, jepordizing the safety of women in abusive relationships all over the state.
Now, given the "understanding" individual that I am, I would have understood possibly a 20% cut in Domestic Violence shelter budgets, as the state is in deep, deep debt. However, a recession is no excuse to leave abused women out of the budget. I can't possibly tell you how steamed I am about this; I can't convey such anger over the internet.... but I'll try.
Ahem; OMG WTF WER U THINKIN ARNOLD?!?!11!?!/1 U TINK DAT WOMEN DON'T DESRV HELP IF DEY R ABUSED U SICK MOFO?!.!.4693!!/! F U W/ SUMTING HARD & SANDPAPER-Y!-=5451*!!!?!!!/!!11
Not quite sure it that helps you understand how angry I am, and as much as I'd love to rant about this, I simply must lurk Feministing and internet in general to see what can be done.
This is why I should be President. (H4V M4ST3RD CH4TSP34K LOL)
-BJ
To start off: I've already ranted about Taylor Swift once on this blog and how her songs play on the radio too damn often to be justified. Yet, I was listening to Love Story the other day (I'm too lazy to turn the radio off), and realized something I should have realized a long time ago:
Taylor Swift isn't fucking Country. Her songs shouldn't be considered country, and if you listen to them multiple times, you begin to realize what a goddamn poser this sad excuse for a singer is. Hell, I'd even accept (some.... SOME) of Miley Cyrus' songs because she at least has a southern accent. People should realize that Taylor Swift's songs are the farthest thing from country we are ever going to get, and she should be stripped of her title of being the first country singer to have a Top 40 song.
Excuse me, did Carrie Underwood disappear off the face of the earth or something?
OK, now we move on to the second rant, which follows the blog theme a little better, even though we haven't been doing that for a while now.... =D
Apparently, Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger has decided that the safety of women isn't worth having the state of California go into debt. He has completely cut funds for Domestic Violence shelters in California, jepordizing the safety of women in abusive relationships all over the state.
Now, given the "understanding" individual that I am, I would have understood possibly a 20% cut in Domestic Violence shelter budgets, as the state is in deep, deep debt. However, a recession is no excuse to leave abused women out of the budget. I can't possibly tell you how steamed I am about this; I can't convey such anger over the internet.... but I'll try.
Ahem; OMG WTF WER U THINKIN ARNOLD?!?!11!?!/1 U TINK DAT WOMEN DON'T DESRV HELP IF DEY R ABUSED U SICK MOFO?!.!.4693!!/! F U W/ SUMTING HARD & SANDPAPER-Y!-=5451*!!!?!!!/!!11
Not quite sure it that helps you understand how angry I am, and as much as I'd love to rant about this, I simply must lurk Feministing and internet in general to see what can be done.
This is why I should be President. (H4V M4ST3RD CH4TSP34K LOL)
-BJ
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