Dude, I just had an amazing idea. However, it requires me to remind all of the non-existent readers what a big "South Park" fan I am. ....I like South Park a lot. OK, is that out of the way? Good.
Anyways, in case you haven't heard, a "Family Guy" episode about abortion or something was pulled a couple of months ago.
Now, since a show like "South Park" takes about six days to make and doesn't (in the words of the creators themselves) "sit on the shelf" for a long time, they would probably get away with something like an episode about abortion.
Still following me? Well, most South Park fans know that the creators (Trey Parker & Matt Stone) absolutely despise "Family Guy." So, why not just laugh in their face and make an abortion episode? No doubt Comedy Central would probably air it.
So, um... I just wasted my daily epiphany on that idea.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Monday, September 28, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
I Hate Hipsters
Kind of (one of my friends is kind of a hipster... I forgive her).
And elitists. (Cultural ones, that is... intellectual elitism is another subject of which I will rant about another day).
The story: I, being a super-awesome college student, was googling "hot topic sucks" earlier. (By sucks, I refer only to the SHIT they call products. You know, the clothes that last a week before falling apart.)Instead, I found a girl ranting about how Hot Topic is so "mainstream" and that if you want to NOT be "mainstream," you have to shop at thrift stores.
What the fuck?
You don't condemn things just because they are "mainstream." Sure, in my opinion most mainstream music sucks (I know I just jumped from Hot Topic to music... go with it), but not because a lot of people like it. I also know a ton of obscure bands that suck. And, of course, most of my favorites are fairly mainstream.
Even if a band or store is sucky mainstream crap, it's ridiculous to belittle the people that like it. Someone's personal preferences in one are don't determine their entire personality.*
So yeah. I pretty much wrote this blog for the post script.
Peace Out.
-TS
*Except for Twilight fans. Only brainless idiots like Twilight. If you like Twilight, it makes you a brainless idiot. Because only a brainless idiot could like Twilight.
And elitists. (Cultural ones, that is... intellectual elitism is another subject of which I will rant about another day).
The story: I, being a super-awesome college student, was googling "hot topic sucks" earlier. (By sucks, I refer only to the SHIT they call products. You know, the clothes that last a week before falling apart.)Instead, I found a girl ranting about how Hot Topic is so "mainstream" and that if you want to NOT be "mainstream," you have to shop at thrift stores.
What the fuck?
You don't condemn things just because they are "mainstream." Sure, in my opinion most mainstream music sucks (I know I just jumped from Hot Topic to music... go with it), but not because a lot of people like it. I also know a ton of obscure bands that suck. And, of course, most of my favorites are fairly mainstream.
Even if a band or store is sucky mainstream crap, it's ridiculous to belittle the people that like it. Someone's personal preferences in one are don't determine their entire personality.*
So yeah. I pretty much wrote this blog for the post script.
Peace Out.
-TS
*Except for Twilight fans. Only brainless idiots like Twilight. If you like Twilight, it makes you a brainless idiot. Because only a brainless idiot could like Twilight.
Monday, September 14, 2009
I Hate People
I'm sure we probably have more than 1 blog with this particular title, but right now, my faith in humanity is dropping almost as fast as it was during the "TWILIGHT IZ AWSUM!!!111!8589!" Boom of 2006-2008.
OK, I have to wonder, does anybody actually know how to behave themselves these days? Does anyone know what the fuck respect means? (Lol, I put "fuck" and "respect" next to each other in a sentence.) Should I be worried when a Congressman of all people decides to shout during Obama's health care speech? Then attempts to defend himself by saying it was simply reflex.
Now, even I disagree with the including illegal aliens in the health care bill, but there are other, better times to tell OUR PRESIDENT that he's a big, fat, douche-y liar. I mean, I was even peeved a few months ago when someone threw a shoe at President Bush. (I will not, however, deny that I chuckled at the incident.)
So, some of America can't be satisfied with that. Kanye West decided to put the douchebag cherry on top of the douchebag sundae by interrupting Taylor Swift during her acceptance speech at the VMAs and basically telling her she wasn't worthy of the award.
Again, I will admit that Taylor Swift has only simple, but retarded lyrics and catchy tunes going for her music, but even I would have behaved better than that! I may be a total bitch when I'm blogging, but I know when to tone it down in public.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
OK, I have to wonder, does anybody actually know how to behave themselves these days? Does anyone know what the fuck respect means? (Lol, I put "fuck" and "respect" next to each other in a sentence.) Should I be worried when a Congressman of all people decides to shout during Obama's health care speech? Then attempts to defend himself by saying it was simply reflex.
Now, even I disagree with the including illegal aliens in the health care bill, but there are other, better times to tell OUR PRESIDENT that he's a big, fat, douche-y liar. I mean, I was even peeved a few months ago when someone threw a shoe at President Bush. (I will not, however, deny that I chuckled at the incident.)
So, some of America can't be satisfied with that. Kanye West decided to put the douchebag cherry on top of the douchebag sundae by interrupting Taylor Swift during her acceptance speech at the VMAs and basically telling her she wasn't worthy of the award.
Again, I will admit that Taylor Swift has only simple, but retarded lyrics and catchy tunes going for her music, but even I would have behaved better than that! I may be a total bitch when I'm blogging, but I know when to tone it down in public.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I Hate...
Chalk another one up for the TS&BJ hate list: Pro-life looney*, Jill Stanek!
Ts, if you're reading this, you've probably never heard of this woman, but, trust me, I know you will truly despise her as much as I do at this moment.
She's completely insane, believing every word that spews out of her mouth to be true (and how can that be, when being right all the time is a privilege reserved for only TS and I?) and her supporters are just as hypocritical. In fact, as I've observed, her supporters believe it's OK for them to be demeaning and hypocritical, simply because they believe all liberals are that way. They also believe they intimidate liberals and pro-choicers, and that liberals are "cowardly" because they run away from what I like to call, "Internet Blog Comment Arguments." Wow, guys, way to rise above us "childish and cowardly" liberals. (By the way, I've observed this "cowardly" behavior from Stanek herself on Feministing. ;) )
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
*Disclaimer- This is not to say all pro-lifers are loonies. In my opinion, however, Jill Stanek is most certainly a grade A looney.
Ts, if you're reading this, you've probably never heard of this woman, but, trust me, I know you will truly despise her as much as I do at this moment.
She's completely insane, believing every word that spews out of her mouth to be true (and how can that be, when being right all the time is a privilege reserved for only TS and I?) and her supporters are just as hypocritical. In fact, as I've observed, her supporters believe it's OK for them to be demeaning and hypocritical, simply because they believe all liberals are that way. They also believe they intimidate liberals and pro-choicers, and that liberals are "cowardly" because they run away from what I like to call, "Internet Blog Comment Arguments." Wow, guys, way to rise above us "childish and cowardly" liberals. (By the way, I've observed this "cowardly" behavior from Stanek herself on Feministing. ;) )
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
*Disclaimer- This is not to say all pro-lifers are loonies. In my opinion, however, Jill Stanek is most certainly a grade A looney.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
I Love Brad Pitt
Via MSNBC:
Partial Transcript:
He's right- he wouldn't stand a chance. Even with my support, he would still lose, because New Orleans is in the south, a strange place where gay marriage, no religion, and marijuana don't exist.
But what does this say about my future campaign? If Brad Pitt can't win New Orleans, can I win America?
Of course! Brad Pitt may be awesome, but he isn't me.
This is why I should be president.
-TS
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
Partial Transcript:
"Would you serve?”
“Yeah. I’m running on the gay marriage, no
religion, legalization and taxation of marijuana platform,” he joked.
That comment drew a measured “OK” from Curry.
“I don’t have a
chance,” Pitt predicted.
He's right- he wouldn't stand a chance. Even with my support, he would still lose, because New Orleans is in the south, a strange place where gay marriage, no religion, and marijuana don't exist.
But what does this say about my future campaign? If Brad Pitt can't win New Orleans, can I win America?
Of course! Brad Pitt may be awesome, but he isn't me.
This is why I should be president.
-TS
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I Love Edward
Watching BJ air-humping cardboard cut-outs of him, that is. We found this in Saturday Matinee, the movie store in the mall:
Note the child in the background... I made BJ do it quick so he wouldn't turn around and see.
This is why I should be president.
-TS
Monday, August 10, 2009
I Hate This Shit
I'm attempting, in vain, it seems, to contact my local Werehnberg Theatre so that I can find out if "Ponyo" is showing on Friday.
Damn it, I want to talk to a real fucking person, not some robot who doesn't understand a fucking thing I say.
Are you really that busy that you refuse to talk to customers over the phone? Instead, you give me this unlikable robot woman who asks me to repeat myself, like, once before she gives up on me and I have to go through the whole process of calling the theatre and pressing the numbers all over again.
God, the Nintendo Company is more personal than you! At least I can easily get a hold of a real person on the other line.
This is why I should be President. (No more of this shit!)
-BJ.
Damn it, I want to talk to a real fucking person, not some robot who doesn't understand a fucking thing I say.
Are you really that busy that you refuse to talk to customers over the phone? Instead, you give me this unlikable robot woman who asks me to repeat myself, like, once before she gives up on me and I have to go through the whole process of calling the theatre and pressing the numbers all over again.
God, the Nintendo Company is more personal than you! At least I can easily get a hold of a real person on the other line.
This is why I should be President. (No more of this shit!)
-BJ.
Friday, August 7, 2009
I Hate Breasts
Yes, folks. Breasts are B-A-D! All breasts are plotting the downfall of societies everywhere, not to mention they are the reason so many teenage girls are getting knocked up.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "Isn't teenage pregnancy rising because of the abstinence movement? Because schools are now refusing to teach teens how to properly put condoms on, and tell girls where birth control can be easily accessed?"
OF COURSE NOT! How can you be so stupid? It's because women are tempting men with their evil breasts. All women should just leave their dumb boobs at home. In fact, why are they out and about, and not making sandwiches in the kitchen? (Because boobs are making them do it, duh.)
Now, I go on my little rant about the evils of boobies because of the hot new toy stirring up controversy.
Baby Glutton comes with a halter top that has daisies in the boob area. When Baby Glutton is placed next to the daisies, it makes a sucking noise, imitating the act of breastfeeding. It's the hot new toy and I'm pretty sure it originates in Mexico... of course! Who else would make such a vile toy? How dare these Mexicans teach our children that breasts are for something other than tempting men to have sex with you? How dare you try and tell me that it's OK to teach little kids about the completely unnatural act of breastfeeding!
Luckily, Fox News is right alongside me on this one.
What did we learn today? Well, we learned that breasts are good for nothing except giving men something nice to look at. It's not like multiple studies show the benefit of breastfeeding or anything. Forget about keeping your child healthy; breasts are only for sexual pleasure (of men, of course) and have absolutely no important biological function.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Now, I know what you're thinking: "Isn't teenage pregnancy rising because of the abstinence movement? Because schools are now refusing to teach teens how to properly put condoms on, and tell girls where birth control can be easily accessed?"
OF COURSE NOT! How can you be so stupid? It's because women are tempting men with their evil breasts. All women should just leave their dumb boobs at home. In fact, why are they out and about, and not making sandwiches in the kitchen? (Because boobs are making them do it, duh.)
Now, I go on my little rant about the evils of boobies because of the hot new toy stirring up controversy.
Baby Glutton comes with a halter top that has daisies in the boob area. When Baby Glutton is placed next to the daisies, it makes a sucking noise, imitating the act of breastfeeding. It's the hot new toy and I'm pretty sure it originates in Mexico... of course! Who else would make such a vile toy? How dare these Mexicans teach our children that breasts are for something other than tempting men to have sex with you? How dare you try and tell me that it's OK to teach little kids about the completely unnatural act of breastfeeding!
Luckily, Fox News is right alongside me on this one.
What did we learn today? Well, we learned that breasts are good for nothing except giving men something nice to look at. It's not like multiple studies show the benefit of breastfeeding or anything. Forget about keeping your child healthy; breasts are only for sexual pleasure (of men, of course) and have absolutely no important biological function.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Monday, August 3, 2009
I Hate Multiple Rants
I seriously couldn't decide which one to blog about first, but they're both fairly short rants, so I figured I could get away with posting two completely different topics in one blog.
To start off: I've already ranted about Taylor Swift once on this blog and how her songs play on the radio too damn often to be justified. Yet, I was listening to Love Story the other day (I'm too lazy to turn the radio off), and realized something I should have realized a long time ago:
Taylor Swift isn't fucking Country. Her songs shouldn't be considered country, and if you listen to them multiple times, you begin to realize what a goddamn poser this sad excuse for a singer is. Hell, I'd even accept (some.... SOME) of Miley Cyrus' songs because she at least has a southern accent. People should realize that Taylor Swift's songs are the farthest thing from country we are ever going to get, and she should be stripped of her title of being the first country singer to have a Top 40 song.
Excuse me, did Carrie Underwood disappear off the face of the earth or something?
OK, now we move on to the second rant, which follows the blog theme a little better, even though we haven't been doing that for a while now.... =D
Apparently, Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger has decided that the safety of women isn't worth having the state of California go into debt. He has completely cut funds for Domestic Violence shelters in California, jepordizing the safety of women in abusive relationships all over the state.
Now, given the "understanding" individual that I am, I would have understood possibly a 20% cut in Domestic Violence shelter budgets, as the state is in deep, deep debt. However, a recession is no excuse to leave abused women out of the budget. I can't possibly tell you how steamed I am about this; I can't convey such anger over the internet.... but I'll try.
Ahem; OMG WTF WER U THINKIN ARNOLD?!?!11!?!/1 U TINK DAT WOMEN DON'T DESRV HELP IF DEY R ABUSED U SICK MOFO?!.!.4693!!/! F U W/ SUMTING HARD & SANDPAPER-Y!-=5451*!!!?!!!/!!11
Not quite sure it that helps you understand how angry I am, and as much as I'd love to rant about this, I simply must lurk Feministing and internet in general to see what can be done.
This is why I should be President. (H4V M4ST3RD CH4TSP34K LOL)
-BJ
To start off: I've already ranted about Taylor Swift once on this blog and how her songs play on the radio too damn often to be justified. Yet, I was listening to Love Story the other day (I'm too lazy to turn the radio off), and realized something I should have realized a long time ago:
Taylor Swift isn't fucking Country. Her songs shouldn't be considered country, and if you listen to them multiple times, you begin to realize what a goddamn poser this sad excuse for a singer is. Hell, I'd even accept (some.... SOME) of Miley Cyrus' songs because she at least has a southern accent. People should realize that Taylor Swift's songs are the farthest thing from country we are ever going to get, and she should be stripped of her title of being the first country singer to have a Top 40 song.
Excuse me, did Carrie Underwood disappear off the face of the earth or something?
OK, now we move on to the second rant, which follows the blog theme a little better, even though we haven't been doing that for a while now.... =D
Apparently, Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger has decided that the safety of women isn't worth having the state of California go into debt. He has completely cut funds for Domestic Violence shelters in California, jepordizing the safety of women in abusive relationships all over the state.
Now, given the "understanding" individual that I am, I would have understood possibly a 20% cut in Domestic Violence shelter budgets, as the state is in deep, deep debt. However, a recession is no excuse to leave abused women out of the budget. I can't possibly tell you how steamed I am about this; I can't convey such anger over the internet.... but I'll try.
Ahem; OMG WTF WER U THINKIN ARNOLD?!?!11!?!/1 U TINK DAT WOMEN DON'T DESRV HELP IF DEY R ABUSED U SICK MOFO?!.!.4693!!/! F U W/ SUMTING HARD & SANDPAPER-Y!-=5451*!!!?!!!/!!11
Not quite sure it that helps you understand how angry I am, and as much as I'd love to rant about this, I simply must lurk Feministing and internet in general to see what can be done.
This is why I should be President. (H4V M4ST3RD CH4TSP34K LOL)
-BJ
Friday, July 24, 2009
I Hate MJ
Dear Michael Jackson, (aka, King of Pop, MJ, the -original- Pedobear, etc.)
I'm sorry the media treated you as the butt of plastic surgery and pedophile jokes for the last who knows how many years. Now, being the two faced asshole the media tends to be, they suddenly find you cool now that you're six feet under and you can't make a comeback tour. I mean, if you had just taped a shitload of rehearsals ahead of time, you could've pulled a Heath Ledger.
I'll be honest, though, I think it was your fate all along, and you might've embarrassed yourself on the comeback tour, so God was all like "Fuck it, I'll just end this bastard's suffering right now."
So anyways, I felt kinda bad seeing you in a negative light my entire life then suddenly your heart stops and everyone's like "O YAH MJ WUZ DA GR8EST ILL MIZ HIM SOOO MUCH!!11ZSHIFTYELEVEN!!!111lolwhut" It really fucks up my perspective of you.
If it's any consolation (which it's not, 'cause you're dead! =D <--- Inappropriate smiley is inappropriate), I'd love to travel back in time and be your psychiatrist. I'm a good listener.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
PS- I don't think you were a pedophile.... really......I never did..... swear to God.....totally didn't.....
PSS- At least you've got Ed McMann, Billy Mays and Farrah Fawcett with you to keep you company, yo. Bet my bird Patrick Swayze will join you next! =D (Still inappropriate...)
I'm sorry the media treated you as the butt of plastic surgery and pedophile jokes for the last who knows how many years. Now, being the two faced asshole the media tends to be, they suddenly find you cool now that you're six feet under and you can't make a comeback tour. I mean, if you had just taped a shitload of rehearsals ahead of time, you could've pulled a Heath Ledger.
I'll be honest, though, I think it was your fate all along, and you might've embarrassed yourself on the comeback tour, so God was all like "Fuck it, I'll just end this bastard's suffering right now."
So anyways, I felt kinda bad seeing you in a negative light my entire life then suddenly your heart stops and everyone's like "O YAH MJ WUZ DA GR8EST ILL MIZ HIM SOOO MUCH!!11ZSHIFTYELEVEN!!!111lolwhut" It really fucks up my perspective of you.
If it's any consolation (which it's not, 'cause you're dead! =D <--- Inappropriate smiley is inappropriate), I'd love to travel back in time and be your psychiatrist. I'm a good listener.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
PS- I don't think you were a pedophile.... really......I never did..... swear to God.....totally didn't.....
PSS- At least you've got Ed McMann, Billy Mays and Farrah Fawcett with you to keep you company, yo. Bet my bird Patrick Swayze will join you next! =D (Still inappropriate...)
Saturday, July 18, 2009
I Hate Avodart
All you women know what I'm talking about. That damn Avodart, the hot new prostate medication that is "only for men." Seriously, I've heard of sexism, but this is beyond my wildest feminist imagination. (But apparently me and a panda-spider protecting Michael Jackson from the police is not. <---Was a dream I had.)
Anyways, I was watching television, ignoring my duties as a popular political internet blogger, when SUDDENLY, I see a commercial for Avodart. At first the commercial seemed harmless enough, and I went back to slurping up shrimp ramen or doing stuff on my father's laptop. (Like watching Nostalgia Chick reviews.) When, at the end of the commercial, I clearly hear the narrator declare:
"Avodart is only for men."
OK, now my blood is seriously boiling. What wa selfish brand of prostate medicine! I mean, what the hell, Avodart? What am I supposed to do when MY prostate starts enlarging, and I can't control when I need to use the bathroom? Are you telling me that I, as a woman, just have to accept the fact that there are no prostate medicines out there for us, and that if we don't have adult diapers handy by the time our prostates enlarge, we're SOL?
Well, I say "fuck you" to Avodart and their selfish marketing.
This is why I should be President. (And obviously not a doctor. ;D)
-BJ
Anyways, I was watching television, ignoring my duties as a popular political internet blogger, when SUDDENLY, I see a commercial for Avodart. At first the commercial seemed harmless enough, and I went back to slurping up shrimp ramen or doing stuff on my father's laptop. (Like watching Nostalgia Chick reviews.) When, at the end of the commercial, I clearly hear the narrator declare:
"Avodart is only for men."
OK, now my blood is seriously boiling. What wa selfish brand of prostate medicine! I mean, what the hell, Avodart? What am I supposed to do when MY prostate starts enlarging, and I can't control when I need to use the bathroom? Are you telling me that I, as a woman, just have to accept the fact that there are no prostate medicines out there for us, and that if we don't have adult diapers handy by the time our prostates enlarge, we're SOL?
Well, I say "fuck you" to Avodart and their selfish marketing.
This is why I should be President. (And obviously not a doctor. ;D)
-BJ
Sunday, July 5, 2009
I Hate Liberals
OK, so I was a bit confused when I went to the political subcategory on Amazon books... because the main page is filled with conservative propaganda! (As opposed to liberal propaganda, of course...). The rank bestsellers (as of 3:01 am) are as follows:
1.Glenn Beck's Common Sense (Kindle Edition)- Glenn Beck
2. Glenn Beck's Common Sense (Book edition)- GB
3. Liberty and Tyranny: A Conservative Manifesto (Kindle Edition)- Mark R. Levin
4. " " " " " " " (Book Edition)- " " "
5. Catastrophe (Kindle Edition)- Dick Morris
6. " " (BE) " " " " ""
7. 5000 Year Leap (Glenn Beck Foreword)- W. Cleon Skousen*
8. not propaganda
9. 5000 Year Leap-W. Cleon Skousen
10 & 11. Common Sense- Thomas Paine (not propaganda... anymore)
12. Liberal Fascism- Jonah Goldberg
etc.
First, I don't like how Amazon lists the Kindle version and the book version of a book separately, but I guess the delivery might be off so people would comment on that. But still... I haven't seen a bestseller's list so horrifying since... well, since a few minutes ago when I was on random pages and Twilight dominated EVERYTHING.
And it made me wonder why conservatives were selling so many books... and then it hit me.
It's because liberals don't read.
I mean, we're too busy getting high and having butt sex and getting fetuses sucked out to read. But that shouldn't be an excuse not to buy the liberal propaganda... it would give you something to swat the Jehovah's Witnesses away with. And the rating on these books should be significantly lower. If I've learned anything from Amazon, it's that you don't need to have read a book to judge it, bash it, and completely trash talk fans of it based on the author and/or your personal biases toward the subject matter (take THAT Glenn Beck!).
But whatever you do, don't read! If we take a break from sex/drugs/killing babies, then the conservatives will have won!
This is why I should be president (because they don't read either).
-TS
*I didn't actually check to see if this was conservative propaganda... but it has a forward by Glenn Beck, so I would probably wager my life that it is.
PS: Bill O'Reilly's biography is four stars... that's crap. I don't care how well-written it might be, the subject matter is crap (looking at the person he is today, I'm pretty sure I don't want to read about his childhood). Remember- you don't have to read it to judge it.
PSS: I'm currently reading (while doing other things, mind you (like listening to death metal, a perfectly valid liberal past time)) Stephen Colbert's book, so this might sound like a parody.
1.Glenn Beck's Common Sense (Kindle Edition)- Glenn Beck
2. Glenn Beck's Common Sense (Book edition)- GB
3. Liberty and Tyranny: A Conservative Manifesto (Kindle Edition)- Mark R. Levin
4. " " " " " " " (Book Edition)- " " "
5. Catastrophe (Kindle Edition)- Dick Morris
6. " " (BE) " " " " ""
7. 5000 Year Leap (Glenn Beck Foreword)- W. Cleon Skousen*
8. not propaganda
9. 5000 Year Leap-W. Cleon Skousen
10 & 11. Common Sense- Thomas Paine (not propaganda... anymore)
12. Liberal Fascism- Jonah Goldberg
etc.
First, I don't like how Amazon lists the Kindle version and the book version of a book separately, but I guess the delivery might be off so people would comment on that. But still... I haven't seen a bestseller's list so horrifying since... well, since a few minutes ago when I was on random pages and Twilight dominated EVERYTHING.
And it made me wonder why conservatives were selling so many books... and then it hit me.
It's because liberals don't read.
I mean, we're too busy getting high and having butt sex and getting fetuses sucked out to read. But that shouldn't be an excuse not to buy the liberal propaganda... it would give you something to swat the Jehovah's Witnesses away with. And the rating on these books should be significantly lower. If I've learned anything from Amazon, it's that you don't need to have read a book to judge it, bash it, and completely trash talk fans of it based on the author and/or your personal biases toward the subject matter (take THAT Glenn Beck!).
But whatever you do, don't read! If we take a break from sex/drugs/killing babies, then the conservatives will have won!
This is why I should be president (because they don't read either).
-TS
*I didn't actually check to see if this was conservative propaganda... but it has a forward by Glenn Beck, so I would probably wager my life that it is.
PS: Bill O'Reilly's biography is four stars... that's crap. I don't care how well-written it might be, the subject matter is crap (looking at the person he is today, I'm pretty sure I don't want to read about his childhood). Remember- you don't have to read it to judge it.
PSS: I'm currently reading (while doing other things, mind you (like listening to death metal, a perfectly valid liberal past time)) Stephen Colbert's book, so this might sound like a parody.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
I Hate Slipknot
I don't really know why I called the post that, but I did. I guess I don't really hate Slipknot... just most of their music. And fans (except for Mars... I don't hate her). But I digress.
I was listening to the song "Rock and Roll All Night" by Kiss earlier. For some reason I picked the live version. The first thing I noticed was that they were oddly motivational and nice:
Transcript: "Y'all having a good time tonight! Y'all feel important tonight, 'cause you are very important.Want y'all to know we love ya, we celebrate ya, we are proud to share this great country with ya, and no matter how tough times may get, y'all gotta take a little time to ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND PARTY EVERYDAY!"
That struck me as odd. In my experience, rock and metal bands aren't supposed to be nice. At least, none of the ones I know of (the ones that claim to be hardcore, at least). Then I remembered a conversation I had with Mars a few weeks ago after she'd went to a Slipknot concert. She'd told me the things Slipknot had said to their fans (apparently "maggots" was a term of endearment... okay). So I looked up a video to demonstrate this. Unfortunately, I couldn't find one with all of the things she told me:
Transcript: "Now let's get it the fuck on, this song is called "Before I Forget." Here we are. I wanna see twenty thousand *censored censored censored something that's probably "in the air" censored*."
Side rant: The only reason I had to type "censored" was because I honestly couldn't understand what the fuck they were saying through the beeps. I hate when people censor things in videos that poorly.
While i don't really care that Slipknot says "fuck" a lot, probably using it "endearingly," it still makes me wonder... what's the point? I mean, KISS was pumping up the audience by complimenting them and boosting their egos... Slipknot pumped the audience up by cursing. Either way, of course, people probably were pummeled in mosh pits :)
It makes me miss the good ole days, when most rock and roll songs were about how great rock and roll was and how fucked up war was and all that. Now they're about... well, from what I can tell it's a healthy mix of whining about the government (which is fair game, I suppose) and whining about the pains of living in a developed "first world" country and shitting hundred dollar bills.
Not that I'm judging anyone, of course. And there are bands I like out there. And if you like Slipknot, that's fine. I'm not going to judge your character based on the fact that you like to watch grown men run around with masks on playing with lights (to be fair, though, KISS's make up was equally retarded... but they were first).
Peace out.
This is why I should be president (because I would actually follow the Bill of Rights
-TS
I was listening to the song "Rock and Roll All Night" by Kiss earlier. For some reason I picked the live version. The first thing I noticed was that they were oddly motivational and nice:
Transcript: "Y'all having a good time tonight! Y'all feel important tonight, 'cause you are very important.Want y'all to know we love ya, we celebrate ya, we are proud to share this great country with ya, and no matter how tough times may get, y'all gotta take a little time to ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT AND PARTY EVERYDAY!"
That struck me as odd. In my experience, rock and metal bands aren't supposed to be nice. At least, none of the ones I know of (the ones that claim to be hardcore, at least). Then I remembered a conversation I had with Mars a few weeks ago after she'd went to a Slipknot concert. She'd told me the things Slipknot had said to their fans (apparently "maggots" was a term of endearment... okay). So I looked up a video to demonstrate this. Unfortunately, I couldn't find one with all of the things she told me:
Transcript: "Now let's get it the fuck on, this song is called "Before I Forget." Here we are. I wanna see twenty thousand *censored censored censored something that's probably "in the air" censored*."
Side rant: The only reason I had to type "censored" was because I honestly couldn't understand what the fuck they were saying through the beeps. I hate when people censor things in videos that poorly.
While i don't really care that Slipknot says "fuck" a lot, probably using it "endearingly," it still makes me wonder... what's the point? I mean, KISS was pumping up the audience by complimenting them and boosting their egos... Slipknot pumped the audience up by cursing. Either way, of course, people probably were pummeled in mosh pits :)
It makes me miss the good ole days, when most rock and roll songs were about how great rock and roll was and how fucked up war was and all that. Now they're about... well, from what I can tell it's a healthy mix of whining about the government (which is fair game, I suppose) and whining about the pains of living in a developed "first world" country and shitting hundred dollar bills.
Not that I'm judging anyone, of course. And there are bands I like out there. And if you like Slipknot, that's fine. I'm not going to judge your character based on the fact that you like to watch grown men run around with masks on playing with lights (to be fair, though, KISS's make up was equally retarded... but they were first).
Peace out.
This is why I should be president (because I would actually follow the Bill of Rights
-TS
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I Hate Being Homeless
It's a damn good thing I'm not homeless, then. Unlike Azhar, the child star of "Slumdog Millionare."
Link Here
Why is it that this child starred in an Oscar winning film, yet hes homeless now? Now, I undetsand that they didn't exactly pay him Brad Pitt's salary when it came to starring in the film, but how in the world could people let this happen? A penniless child star in America would never fly!
Oh wait...
As Christian Bale would say, "THINK for one fucking second!" Is this really what America's overconsumption has led to? I'm in no position to lecture anyone, but I'm pretty sure Americans need to open their eyes.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Link Here
Why is it that this child starred in an Oscar winning film, yet hes homeless now? Now, I undetsand that they didn't exactly pay him Brad Pitt's salary when it came to starring in the film, but how in the world could people let this happen? A penniless child star in America would never fly!
Oh wait...
As Christian Bale would say, "THINK for one fucking second!" Is this really what America's overconsumption has led to? I'm in no position to lecture anyone, but I'm pretty sure Americans need to open their eyes.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
I Love Bills
As in, those passed by Congress to look pretty. Like this one:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/20/us/politics/20web-credit.html?_r=1&nl=pol&emc=pola1
I think this bill wins the award for "Bill-which-undermines-the-American-people's-sense-of-responsibility."
It's like the government is saying, "Okay... we've given you people enough time to realize that you shouldn't abuse credit cards, and you haven't learned your lesson. Since you're too dumb to understand, we'll do it for you."
And I love the language they use:
Translation:
Consumers=helpless geek at school
Credit card companies=playground bully
Harry Reid=Superman
“Any effort to restore confidence in our economy must start not on Wall Street but in Main Street, and that’s what the credit card situation is all about."- Harry Reid
Translation: Average Americans are the imbeciles who started this, so we have to clean up their mess.
And, basically, they're right. The credit card companies might be preying on consumers, but consumers are easy prey.
This all sounds like a good idea, right? And maybe it'll help a few people. But the one thing this bill ignores is Americans' decision-making abilities, which tend to be pretty poor. Because no matter how much reform the government does, it's still easier for people to charge it than save.
This is why I should be president.
-TS
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/20/us/politics/20web-credit.html?_r=1&nl=pol&emc=pola1
I think this bill wins the award for "Bill-which-undermines-the-American-people's-sense-of-responsibility."
It's like the government is saying, "Okay... we've given you people enough time to realize that you shouldn't abuse credit cards, and you haven't learned your lesson. Since you're too dumb to understand, we'll do it for you."
And I love the language they use:
"We stood up for consumers and stood up to abusive credit card companies."-
Harry Reid
Translation:
Consumers=helpless geek at school
Credit card companies=playground bully
Harry Reid=Superman
“Any effort to restore confidence in our economy must start not on Wall Street but in Main Street, and that’s what the credit card situation is all about."- Harry Reid
Translation: Average Americans are the imbeciles who started this, so we have to clean up their mess.
And, basically, they're right. The credit card companies might be preying on consumers, but consumers are easy prey.
Among other things, the Senate measure would prohibit companies from
raising interest rates on existing balances unless a card holder was 60 days
behind, and then it would require the rate to be restored to its previous level
if payments were on time for six months. Consumers would have to be notified of
rate increases 45 days in advance. And companies could not charge a late fee if
they were late processing a payment.
Statements would have to be mailed 21 days before a payment was due. It
would be harder for companies to issue cards to people under age 21. Rates could
not be increased within the first year, and promotional rates would be in force
for at least six months.
This all sounds like a good idea, right? And maybe it'll help a few people. But the one thing this bill ignores is Americans' decision-making abilities, which tend to be pretty poor. Because no matter how much reform the government does, it's still easier for people to charge it than save.
This is why I should be president.
-TS
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
It's almost that time again. Top Model LIVE BLOG OMGZ. Fuck yeah. Here's my prediction for the callout:
Teyona
Allison
Aminat
OR
Allison
Teyona
Aminat
I'm sorry to say that I won't tolerate my favorite girl leaving like I did last time. I'll turn the TV off and find something better to do if Allison isn't in the final 2. I know, that is SO dreadful! My nonexistent readers must be crying a river by now! (Not like Teyona, seriously, wtf kind of breakdown was that?! Somebody get Fo...)
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Teyona
Allison
Aminat
OR
Allison
Teyona
Aminat
I'm sorry to say that I won't tolerate my favorite girl leaving like I did last time. I'll turn the TV off and find something better to do if Allison isn't in the final 2. I know, that is SO dreadful! My nonexistent readers must be crying a river by now! (Not like Teyona, seriously, wtf kind of breakdown was that?! Somebody get Fo...)
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Monday, May 4, 2009
I Hate Top Model
Crawling?
Crawling?
CRAWLING?!
CRAWLING?!!?!?!!
Please, Tyra. PLEASE tell me this cycle's final runway does NOT involve crawling.
Also, tell me Allison makes it to the final two and rocks it over Teyona. Please?
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Crawling?
CRAWLING?!
CRAWLING?!!?!?!!
Please, Tyra. PLEASE tell me this cycle's final runway does NOT involve crawling.
Also, tell me Allison makes it to the final two and rocks it over Teyona. Please?
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
I Hate Pigs
I remember something about a certain pandemic that could kill us all.
The world certainly could use some good population control right now. Lol... "swine flu." DAMN YOU MOTHER NATURE! Leave us alone! You've already cursed our cows and birds, and now you want to take away our pork, too?!
You'll get what's coming to you, Mother Nature. Like overpopulation and global warming. Oh shi--... :o
Anyways, since there's only 4 girls left on Top Model, I'll evaluate them.
Teyona: She'll obviously win. I hate that she's so perfect. I don't want yet another girl that was never in the bottom two. In fact, she's never even been close.
Aminat: I really wish she'd pull it together. I don't understand why they keep her around. I WANT to like her...
Allison: OK, so her walk needs some work, which lets me believe she won't make it to the final 2. I at least hope she gets a chance to do a Covergirl shoot. I'd LOVE to see her do the most commercial shoot of the season.
Celia: Really, really wanted her to go home over Fo. Covergirl would drop her in a heartbeat because of her age. Not that I condone that (Celia's beautiful), but I do wish they kept Fo around, despite the fact that NONE of the designers booked her.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
The world certainly could use some good population control right now. Lol... "swine flu." DAMN YOU MOTHER NATURE! Leave us alone! You've already cursed our cows and birds, and now you want to take away our pork, too?!
You'll get what's coming to you, Mother Nature. Like overpopulation and global warming. Oh shi--... :o
Anyways, since there's only 4 girls left on Top Model, I'll evaluate them.
Teyona: She'll obviously win. I hate that she's so perfect. I don't want yet another girl that was never in the bottom two. In fact, she's never even been close.
Aminat: I really wish she'd pull it together. I don't understand why they keep her around. I WANT to like her...
Allison: OK, so her walk needs some work, which lets me believe she won't make it to the final 2. I at least hope she gets a chance to do a Covergirl shoot. I'd LOVE to see her do the most commercial shoot of the season.
Celia: Really, really wanted her to go home over Fo. Covergirl would drop her in a heartbeat because of her age. Not that I condone that (Celia's beautiful), but I do wish they kept Fo around, despite the fact that NONE of the designers booked her.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Saturday, April 25, 2009
I Love Papers
There's nothing like locking yourself up in a room to finish up your history paper, feeding yourself with only a chocolate McDonald's milkshake, and your only company being a puppy sleeping soundly on your bed.
Also, the air conditioning's broke, and you've got nothing interesting to write in your blog.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Also, the air conditioning's broke, and you've got nothing interesting to write in your blog.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Sunday, April 19, 2009
I Love Idiots
They make my job so much easier. I mean, who can watch this video and not support gay rights?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9d38EoQ9pg
I really have nothing to say about this... it speaks for itself.
-TS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9d38EoQ9pg
I really have nothing to say about this... it speaks for itself.
-TS
Saturday, April 18, 2009
I Love Ads
This level of fail totally makes up for the "Is Your Man Gay" Ad. I swear to God I saw this actually advertised on a website... today.
Oh, yes. America really is THAT hopeless.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Oh, yes. America really is THAT hopeless.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Thursday, April 16, 2009
I Hate My Memory
Because it sucks. I completely forgot that tomorrow is the Day of Silence. So I haven't talked to any of my teachers to get permission, and I haven't prepared myself mentally (I love to talk...). Luckily, I just went on Facebook and saw that one of my friends posted something about it, so I remembered. Now at least I won't go into the GSA meeting tomorrow with NO IDEA what's going on.
Sometimes being a senior sucks.
But not really :)
This is why I should be president (or not...?)
-TS
Sometimes being a senior sucks.
But not really :)
This is why I should be president (or not...?)
-TS
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Christianity Hates Me
I was on the "People You May Know" thing on Facebook. I deleted a few people, and their picture went away. But when I tried to delete the icon for "I'm proud to be a Christian" and 
"The Bible"... they didn't:
"The Bible"... they didn't:Note that the test beside these icons is missing, but their pictures are still there.
Do you think this is god's way of telling me I'm going to hell? I mean, it is easter...
-TS
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Aria-Elise
I didn't give this post a real name because it's not a real post. I'm just posting pictures of my new laptop (named Aria-Elise by Pan :) Here you go (don't ask about the washclothes...):
-TS
I Hate The Movies
You know something is wrong when they don't ask for ID at the ticket counter, though you've bought a ticket for a rated 'R' movie, but the guy who rips up your tickets later asks for it even though that's NOT part of his job, sends you to the guest service counter even though you've got a perfectly acceptable form of identification to prove that, yes, you are 17+ years old. On top of which, your friend forgets her ID at home, and now you've got to sneak an 18 year old into the movie...
WTF is wrong with America?
By the way, Rotten Tomatoes dot com, thanks for you #1, most annoying movie-goer: The Cell Phone Bitch. Emphasis on the word "bitch."
Um... fuck you. Plenty of men leave their cell phones on in the theatre. In fact, I've had MORE encounters with men leaving their phones on than with women. So I'm going to counter your sexism with more name calling. From now on, the dude that leaves his phone on in the theatre is known as "The Cell Phone Dickhead."
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
WTF is wrong with America?
By the way, Rotten Tomatoes dot com, thanks for you #1, most annoying movie-goer: The Cell Phone Bitch. Emphasis on the word "bitch."
Um... fuck you. Plenty of men leave their cell phones on in the theatre. In fact, I've had MORE encounters with men leaving their phones on than with women. So I'm going to counter your sexism with more name calling. From now on, the dude that leaves his phone on in the theatre is known as "The Cell Phone Dickhead."
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Thursday, April 9, 2009
I Love Marriage
Specifically, traditional man-on-woman marriage. I watched this video on the dangers of same-sex marriage, and now I'm convinced!
http://www.nationformarriage.org/site/c.omL2KeN0LzH/b.5075663/k.A89C/Religious_Liberty.htm
I mean, it's obvious how same-sex marriage will destroy the sanctity of Britney Spears's 72-hour just-for-fun marriage.
Seriously, though, I didn't believe this video was real when I first watched it. Then, I realized that people actually think like this. So, enjoy, and don't laugh too hard at this overdramatized piece of shit.
This is why I should be president.
-TS
http://www.nationformarriage.org/site/c.omL2KeN0LzH/b.5075663/k.A89C/Religious_Liberty.htm
I mean, it's obvious how same-sex marriage will destroy the sanctity of Britney Spears's 72-hour just-for-fun marriage.
Seriously, though, I didn't believe this video was real when I first watched it. Then, I realized that people actually think like this. So, enjoy, and don't laugh too hard at this overdramatized piece of shit.
This is why I should be president.
-TS
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
I Hate My School
You heard about Iowa and Vermont legalizing gay marriage, right? Well, my lovely principle Major Douchebag** decided that he needed to make up for that. So he denied our request to observe the day of silence on April 17. By our, I am referring to S.T.R.I.D.E., the GSA (even though we aren't allowed to call it that) at my school.
This isn't the first homophobic act he has committed. Last year, we had to fight like hell to even start the GSA. Major Douchebag said no, our superintendent said no, and it took a protest and an article in the Newspaper to force them to allow it. Still, they refused to let us call it a GSA, so now the club is promoting genera; "tolerance."
Another example (although he wasn't directly involved in this one): Last year, Alice* was elected to an officer position in the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA). Later, she went on the radio and mentioned that she was a lesbian. Because she said this, the sponsor of the FCA stripped her of her officer position. And Major Douchebag did nothing about it, of course.
So, basically, I can't wait to go to college and get away from this condoned homophobic shit.
This is why I should be president.
-TS
*name has been changed
**D-A-V-I-D K-N-I-E-P-C-A-M-P (I think that's how you spell it...)
This isn't the first homophobic act he has committed. Last year, we had to fight like hell to even start the GSA. Major Douchebag said no, our superintendent said no, and it took a protest and an article in the Newspaper to force them to allow it. Still, they refused to let us call it a GSA, so now the club is promoting genera; "tolerance."
Another example (although he wasn't directly involved in this one): Last year, Alice* was elected to an officer position in the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA). Later, she went on the radio and mentioned that she was a lesbian. Because she said this, the sponsor of the FCA stripped her of her officer position. And Major Douchebag did nothing about it, of course.
So, basically, I can't wait to go to college and get away from this condoned homophobic shit.
This is why I should be president.
-TS
*name has been changed
**D-A-V-I-D K-N-I-E-P-C-A-M-P (I think that's how you spell it...)
Monday, April 6, 2009
I Hate Music
As many of you know, Ms. Britney Spears has stirred up controversy. Again. Her new song, which, IMHO, is a tongue-in-cheek play on words, is called "If You Seek Amy." When said slurred together, it sounds like "ef-you-see-kay-me." Fuck me. I didn't notice it at first because of my habit of annunciating my 'k's. Well, parents are complaining because if children listen to this song, it will apparently rape their innocence to death. Even though if someone under the age of... let's go with 10-11, understands the meaning of the pun, they weren't that innocent to begin with. To experiment, I had my little sister listen to it to see if she'd get the pun.
Me: Did you like the song?
Sister Thing: Yes, it's catchy.
Me: Did you understand the meaning of the song?
Sister Thing: She's looking for another girl at a party.
Her childhood naivety and innocence are gone. What have I done?!?!?!
I guess what I don't understand is that why parents are so concerned about a hidden meaning that children probably wont find when there are many more demeaning songs towards women that are a lot more obvious. I'll only use examples that have played on the radio to be fair.
Chorus to Li'l Wayne's "Lollipop":
She she lick me like a lollipop (lollipop)
She she lick me like a lollipop (lollipop)
She she lick me like a lollipop (yeah)
She she lick me like a lollipop
Shawty wanna thug
Bottles in the club
Shawty wanna hump
Ya know I like to touch ya lovely lady lumps
( Repeat 2x )
Chorus to Ying Yang Twins' "Saltshaker":
Shawty crunk on the floor wide open
Skeet so much they call her Billy Ocean
Roll like an eighteen wheeler
That ho fine but this ho killer
She leakin, she's soakin' wet
She leakin, soakin' wet
Shake it like a salt shaker (shake it like a salt shaker)
Shake it like a salt shaker (shake it like a salt shaker)
And my personal favorite, Chorus to Eminem and Nate Dogg's "Shake That Ass":
Shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
C'mon girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Oh girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
C'mon girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
We bout' to have a party (turn the music up)
Let's get it started (go ahead shake your butt)
I'm looking for a girl with a body and a sexy strut
Wanna get it poppin baby step right up
Some girls they act retarded
Some girls are bout it bout it
I'm looking for a girl that will do whatever the fuck
I say everyday she be giving it up.
Mmmm. Misogyny. A dish best served hot.
Now, here's the lyrics to "If You Seek Amy."
Love me hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy
Love me hate me
But can't you see what I see
All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy
I'm going to make a new song one day, and the chorus will be something like "I walk into the bar/All the boys are just objects/My toys to play with for the night."
I'm clever as shit.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Me: Did you like the song?
Sister Thing: Yes, it's catchy.
Me: Did you understand the meaning of the song?
Sister Thing: She's looking for another girl at a party.
Her childhood naivety and innocence are gone. What have I done?!?!?!
I guess what I don't understand is that why parents are so concerned about a hidden meaning that children probably wont find when there are many more demeaning songs towards women that are a lot more obvious. I'll only use examples that have played on the radio to be fair.
Chorus to Li'l Wayne's "Lollipop":
She she lick me like a lollipop (lollipop)
She she lick me like a lollipop (lollipop)
She she lick me like a lollipop (yeah)
She she lick me like a lollipop
Shawty wanna thug
Bottles in the club
Shawty wanna hump
Ya know I like to touch ya lovely lady lumps
( Repeat 2x )
Chorus to Ying Yang Twins' "Saltshaker":
Shawty crunk on the floor wide open
Skeet so much they call her Billy Ocean
Roll like an eighteen wheeler
That ho fine but this ho killer
She leakin, she's soakin' wet
She leakin, soakin' wet
Shake it like a salt shaker (shake it like a salt shaker)
Shake it like a salt shaker (shake it like a salt shaker)
And my personal favorite, Chorus to Eminem and Nate Dogg's "Shake That Ass":
Shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
C'mon girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
Oh girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
C'mon girl, shake that ass for me, shake that ass for me
We bout' to have a party (turn the music up)
Let's get it started (go ahead shake your butt)
I'm looking for a girl with a body and a sexy strut
Wanna get it poppin baby step right up
Some girls they act retarded
Some girls are bout it bout it
I'm looking for a girl that will do whatever the fuck
I say everyday she be giving it up.
Mmmm. Misogyny. A dish best served hot.
Now, here's the lyrics to "If You Seek Amy."
Love me hate me
Say what you want about me
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy
Love me hate me
But can't you see what I see
All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to If You Seek Amy
I'm going to make a new song one day, and the chorus will be something like "I walk into the bar/All the boys are just objects/My toys to play with for the night."
I'm clever as shit.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Friday, March 27, 2009
I Hate Twilight Some More
So, there I was, trying to make myself feel better by reading stuff on FMyLife.com. I happen to come across a Twilight-based FML.
The Horror!
In a nutshell, this dude's girlfriend dumped him because he wasn't enough like Edward. If that wasn't bad enough, many posters actually vouch for Edward! (Though many others do say she needs a reality check).
This is why I need to barf on crazy Twilight fans.
-BJ
The Horror!
In a nutshell, this dude's girlfriend dumped him because he wasn't enough like Edward. If that wasn't bad enough, many posters actually vouch for Edward! (Though many others do say she needs a reality check).
This is why I need to barf on crazy Twilight fans.
-BJ
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
I Hate Abstinence
Lorenzo: Gosh, Angelita, I'm really turned on by your womanly curves right now.
Angelita: (takes off her bra) Wow. I feel super excited! Let's have sex!
Lorenzo: Alrighty!
(They get naked and take off all of their clothes. Both are really turned on.)
Lorenzo: Darn... I don't have a condom.
Angelita: Shucks.
(Both sigh)
Angelita: Wait! In sex ed we learned that condoms fail forty percent of the time anyway, which is close to fifty. So we might as well not use one, right?
Lorenzo: You betcha!
(Have sex. Lorenzo gets herpes. The End.)
This is why I should be president (and not a playwright)
-TS
PS: By "I Hate Abstinence," I mean "I Hate the Abstinence Only Movement"... but that was too long.
PSS: Yes, people really do talk like that. At least, if it's a rerun of Leave it to Beaver.
Angelita: (takes off her bra) Wow. I feel super excited! Let's have sex!
Lorenzo: Alrighty!
(They get naked and take off all of their clothes. Both are really turned on.)
Lorenzo: Darn... I don't have a condom.
Angelita: Shucks.
(Both sigh)
Angelita: Wait! In sex ed we learned that condoms fail forty percent of the time anyway, which is close to fifty. So we might as well not use one, right?
Lorenzo: You betcha!
(Have sex. Lorenzo gets herpes. The End.)
This is why I should be president (and not a playwright)
-TS
PS: By "I Hate Abstinence," I mean "I Hate the Abstinence Only Movement"... but that was too long.
PSS: Yes, people really do talk like that. At least, if it's a rerun of Leave it to Beaver.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
I Hate Makeovers
I've never actually individually rated the Top Model makeovers, but I thought since I got a new cut of my own, I'd take another peak at the girls of cycle 12. Besides, someone has to keep you distracted while TS comes up with a more intelligent blog. I'm only going to comment on a few makeovers, but I'll take requests in the comment section.
EDIT: 'Kay, our blog is being retarded, so you actually have to click to see the makeover. And, yes, I am aware that I could easily crop out the 'before' photo is a few sessions of paint, but I'd rather have the before photos there.
Best Makeover
I lost a bit of my love for Fo this week. Her makeover was the best, setting her apart from the rest of the pack. She looks way more model-y and a little less like the hot chick walkin' down the street.
Worst Makeover
She looks like a man in this picture. I'm not just saying that just because Sandra's my least favorite contestant. Hell, nobody deserves this sort of atrocity done to their hair. :o They should have just shaved it, or given her an edgy moe hawk, Naima Cycle 4 style. This mess? Tyra, wtf were you thinking?
I WAS RIGHT,RITE??!!
I called the platinum blonde weave! I must say, though, it suits her a lot better than I expected it to. And Allison hasn't trashed her appearance or anything yet, so the high-fashion girl of this cycle is really starting to grow on me. (Still want Fo to win, though. -crosses fingers-) Huh... she's got a lovely face-on shot goin' there.
Who the heck is that?
I must say, I'm liking this new look on London. She stands out more and the bright blonde makes her blue eyes pop. Seriously, I don't even recognize her! =o
A Step Up
This is a much better look for Tahlia. She's 18, but in the first picture she looks... not 18. After makeovers, she looks fresher, more versatile, and more confident. Rock those Beyonce curls, Tahlia!
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
EDIT: 'Kay, our blog is being retarded, so you actually have to click to see the makeover. And, yes, I am aware that I could easily crop out the 'before' photo is a few sessions of paint, but I'd rather have the before photos there.
Best Makeover
I lost a bit of my love for Fo this week. Her makeover was the best, setting her apart from the rest of the pack. She looks way more model-y and a little less like the hot chick walkin' down the street.
Worst Makeover
She looks like a man in this picture. I'm not just saying that just because Sandra's my least favorite contestant. Hell, nobody deserves this sort of atrocity done to their hair. :o They should have just shaved it, or given her an edgy moe hawk, Naima Cycle 4 style. This mess? Tyra, wtf were you thinking?I WAS RIGHT,RITE??!!
I called the platinum blonde weave! I must say, though, it suits her a lot better than I expected it to. And Allison hasn't trashed her appearance or anything yet, so the high-fashion girl of this cycle is really starting to grow on me. (Still want Fo to win, though. -crosses fingers-) Huh... she's got a lovely face-on shot goin' there.Who the heck is that?
I must say, I'm liking this new look on London. She stands out more and the bright blonde makes her blue eyes pop. Seriously, I don't even recognize her! =oA Step Up
This is a much better look for Tahlia. She's 18, but in the first picture she looks... not 18. After makeovers, she looks fresher, more versatile, and more confident. Rock those Beyonce curls, Tahlia!This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Saturday, March 14, 2009
I Hate Paris Hilton
I know dissing on Paris Hilton is so three years ago, but this is different. I'm not saying I hate Paris Hilton because she's a famous whore. No, this time I hate her because she's INFILTRATING OUR MALL! BJ's mom just read in the newspaper that PH will be at our mall today, which ruins our plans of going there!!! We were going to get orange chicken and go to Rue 21, but no, the universe can't allow that. Fuck.
This is why I should be President.
-TS and BJ
This is why I should be President.
-TS and BJ
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
I Hate Purity
I feel it's only appropriate to write this blog, seeing as the new South Park episode tonight deals with the subject of Purity Rings, and the Jonas Brothers. I'd also like the read and review "The Purity Myth," by Jessica Valenti. (aka, possibly the coolest feminist in the entire world.)
My 'humble' opinion: Purity rings don't work. In fact, they make the situation worse.
I totally support anyone who waits for marriage. However, this is not because I support waiting for marriage. I support waiting until you're ready to have sex, married or no. If you think you're ready, nobody can stop you.
People who wear purity rings, and end up having sex anyways are most likely not ready because, since they have not been thinking of sex, they most likely they have not been thinking of contraception. Just sayin'. Also, if we take a look at www.purityrings.com, it's VERY religious-based. (Is that a word? No? Oh well.) Sorry, but I'm starting to sense some subtle and not-so-subtle slut shaming.
You took a pledge? Awesome for you, and I hope you can keep it. But don't look down on those who haven't.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
PS- Hey, TS! I'm picking up your slack! Write a more intelligent blog, quickly, before our non-existent readers head for the hills! D= (j/k, I adore you.)
My 'humble' opinion: Purity rings don't work. In fact, they make the situation worse.
I totally support anyone who waits for marriage. However, this is not because I support waiting for marriage. I support waiting until you're ready to have sex, married or no. If you think you're ready, nobody can stop you.
People who wear purity rings, and end up having sex anyways are most likely not ready because, since they have not been thinking of sex, they most likely they have not been thinking of contraception. Just sayin'. Also, if we take a look at www.purityrings.com, it's VERY religious-based. (Is that a word? No? Oh well.) Sorry, but I'm starting to sense some subtle and not-so-subtle slut shaming.
You took a pledge? Awesome for you, and I hope you can keep it. But don't look down on those who haven't.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
PS- Hey, TS! I'm picking up your slack! Write a more intelligent blog, quickly, before our non-existent readers head for the hills! D= (j/k, I adore you.)
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
I HateTaboo Shit
Seriously, why must people suffer so that they can please society? For example, if your crotch itches, you've got to suck it up and wait until a bathroom break, despite the fact that there should be no problem, as long as you're not sticking your hands down your underpants. If you scratch on the outside of your pants, people shouldn't be so freaked out.
OK, that might be crossing the line, but what I really wanted to talk about was wedgies. When you're in public and you get a wedgie, you have to suffer until you think you can subtly pull it out. If it happens to everyone, why is it so shameful? Also, I know it hurts when a guy's pubic hair gets caught on the boxers, but they must also suffer until they are able to pull it off without anyone judging them.
Maybe the human race should stop being so uptight.
Also, I heard our new President lifted a ban on embryonic stem cell research or something like that. ;)
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
OK, that might be crossing the line, but what I really wanted to talk about was wedgies. When you're in public and you get a wedgie, you have to suffer until you think you can subtly pull it out. If it happens to everyone, why is it so shameful? Also, I know it hurts when a guy's pubic hair gets caught on the boxers, but they must also suffer until they are able to pull it off without anyone judging them.
Maybe the human race should stop being so uptight.
Also, I heard our new President lifted a ban on embryonic stem cell research or something like that. ;)
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Monday, March 9, 2009
I Love Rush Limbaugh
No, really, I do! He says such wise things about the progressive movements that are obviously the downfall of society. His criticism of feminism has made me see the light. Before, I actually used to have ideals and beliefs that women were not treated with the same respect as men. Now, looking back, I find it to be very silly of me to ever have thought that women were ever discriminated in the workplace, frequently domestically abused (most unable to escape the situation and desert their abusive spouse? Nonsense!), or that the number of rape victims has drastically increased, even in prisons. And that the punishment for rape is one of the least severe in our society.
WTF was I thinking?! Phew, I'm so glad an intelligent man such as Rush Limbaugh showed me the way, telling me that I'm just an ugly woman trying to find my place in society! Now that I've seen the true motivation behind feminism, I no longer have ambitions to be a strong woman who puts herself through college to find a decent career. Instead, I'm going to devote my soul to the men in my life no matter what! All you FemiNazis just need to chill out and stop fighting for your rights. Take yourself and your liberal feminist agenda and GTFO! Like your silly progressive movements will ever accomplish anything in society.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
PS- I think I just died a little inside.
WTF was I thinking?! Phew, I'm so glad an intelligent man such as Rush Limbaugh showed me the way, telling me that I'm just an ugly woman trying to find my place in society! Now that I've seen the true motivation behind feminism, I no longer have ambitions to be a strong woman who puts herself through college to find a decent career. Instead, I'm going to devote my soul to the men in my life no matter what! All you FemiNazis just need to chill out and stop fighting for your rights. Take yourself and your liberal feminist agenda and GTFO! Like your silly progressive movements will ever accomplish anything in society.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
PS- I think I just died a little inside.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
I Hate Tyra
Whoot! I managed to nab the 100th post! Take that, TS! Uh... j/k. I adore you. Anyways, moving onto the blog:
Fuck. Fuck, fuck fuck. Yes, Tyra. You and your panel reached a decision; a terrible one, at that. But, of course we can't send the bitch of the house home just yet. It's only the first episode, and that would make this cycle too peaceful! [/mock] So, my new thoughts on all of the girls. Now is my time to scrutinize. -devilish grin-
Jessica- "Nobody has ever told me I'm ugly." Yeah, that doesn't make you a model, sweetcheeks. Confidence will only get you so far if you can't take a picture that pleases the judges.
Kortnie-Like her a LOT more on camera, though she's a bit reminiscent of Caridee (albeit, a brunette version). Her walk's alright, and her body's slammin', so I hope she goes to final 5.
London- Surprisingly not the bitch of the cycle as I intended, but , in fact, the pacifist. She's cool enough, but I'm not too insanely attached to her.
Natalie- Barely remembered her, at ALL. Totally quiet, with a barely-there personality. Hopefully, she steps it up a notch.
Nijah- Also don't remember her much, except that her skin was gorgeous when she walked in her swimsuit. Maybe she'll step it up a bit, as well. =)
Sandra- Fuck you, bitch, gtfo, and stop terrorizing everyone else in the house. It's one thing to be confident, another to be outright mean. Seriously, I'm so sick of your fucking attitude, and I'm sure many viewers agree with me.
Tahlia- She's 18? Well, I won't get into that again, and as admirable as I feel Tahlia is, the effect of your burns goes away if you mention it every 3 seconds. (Think blind Amanda from cycle 3)
Teyona- Not as pretty on camera, but I still like her. She hasn't done anything to make me angry and her picture was decent. Definite potential in her.
Allison- Who called it?! Yup, that right, the insanely smart BJ hit the nail on the head with this one. They even called her first for a confidence boost. She is the high-fashion girl with nothing else to give, and will probably fail commercials, thus forcing the judges to send her home.
Aminat- She is very pretty, but, as the judges said, very one-note. If she can give a softer face, than I'll get more attached. Actually, looking back, she reminds me of Stacey-Ann.
Celia- Good picture, weird chin, nice enough girl, but I'm just not feeling her. Perhaps it;s just me.
Fo- A talented top model with freckles? Thank you Tyra. Can this cycle get any better? Oh yeah, if Sandra had gone home.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Fuck. Fuck, fuck fuck. Yes, Tyra. You and your panel reached a decision; a terrible one, at that. But, of course we can't send the bitch of the house home just yet. It's only the first episode, and that would make this cycle too peaceful! [/mock] So, my new thoughts on all of the girls. Now is my time to scrutinize. -devilish grin-
Jessica- "Nobody has ever told me I'm ugly." Yeah, that doesn't make you a model, sweetcheeks. Confidence will only get you so far if you can't take a picture that pleases the judges.
Kortnie-Like her a LOT more on camera, though she's a bit reminiscent of Caridee (albeit, a brunette version). Her walk's alright, and her body's slammin', so I hope she goes to final 5.
London- Surprisingly not the bitch of the cycle as I intended, but , in fact, the pacifist. She's cool enough, but I'm not too insanely attached to her.
Natalie- Barely remembered her, at ALL. Totally quiet, with a barely-there personality. Hopefully, she steps it up a notch.
Nijah- Also don't remember her much, except that her skin was gorgeous when she walked in her swimsuit. Maybe she'll step it up a bit, as well. =)
Sandra- Fuck you, bitch, gtfo, and stop terrorizing everyone else in the house. It's one thing to be confident, another to be outright mean. Seriously, I'm so sick of your fucking attitude, and I'm sure many viewers agree with me.
Tahlia- She's 18? Well, I won't get into that again, and as admirable as I feel Tahlia is, the effect of your burns goes away if you mention it every 3 seconds. (Think blind Amanda from cycle 3)
Teyona- Not as pretty on camera, but I still like her. She hasn't done anything to make me angry and her picture was decent. Definite potential in her.
Allison- Who called it?! Yup, that right, the insanely smart BJ hit the nail on the head with this one. They even called her first for a confidence boost. She is the high-fashion girl with nothing else to give, and will probably fail commercials, thus forcing the judges to send her home.
Aminat- She is very pretty, but, as the judges said, very one-note. If she can give a softer face, than I'll get more attached. Actually, looking back, she reminds me of Stacey-Ann.
Celia- Good picture, weird chin, nice enough girl, but I'm just not feeling her. Perhaps it;s just me.
Fo- A talented top model with freckles? Thank you Tyra. Can this cycle get any better? Oh yeah, if Sandra had gone home.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Saturday, February 28, 2009
I Hate Ads
Google sponsers some of the weirdest shit. I'll TRY to write this without going into the whole "Twilight vs. Harry Potter" ads. (Even though Harry Potter is obviously superior... duh.)
I came across this little jewel.
Is he? Does he ever compliment your blouse, and actually call it a blouse? Does he know fashion lines? Will he tolerate a Top Model marathon with you? Does he help you pick out your outfit for special occasions? Does he -gasp- actually take care of himself?! Comb his hair and everything? Clip his nails, and actually care what he looks like in public?
Gay. Your man is gay.
Don't even get me started on the weight loss blogs. As a female internet user, I must hate my body.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
I came across this little jewel.
Is he? Does he ever compliment your blouse, and actually call it a blouse? Does he know fashion lines? Will he tolerate a Top Model marathon with you? Does he help you pick out your outfit for special occasions? Does he -gasp- actually take care of himself?! Comb his hair and everything? Clip his nails, and actually care what he looks like in public?Gay. Your man is gay.
Don't even get me started on the weight loss blogs. As a female internet user, I must hate my body.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Friday, February 27, 2009
I Hate Weight
Dear Radio Announcer:
Why do you feel the need to mention Kelly Clarkson's weight every time her song plays? Seriously, do you ever listen to your broadcasts before you head home for the night? Listen to all the comments you make about Kelly Clarkson's weight, and saying something such as "That was the pleasantly plump Kelly Clarkson with..."
Please, just tell me why. I mean you never say anything like "That was the incredibly bitter and sexist Eminem." No, it's always something about Kelly Clarkson or Britney Spears.
It would be great if you could refrain from these childish comments, and just say that it's Kelly Clarkson's new song, without mentioning her weight. K?
Love,
-BJ
PS- You suck and I hate you.
Why do you feel the need to mention Kelly Clarkson's weight every time her song plays? Seriously, do you ever listen to your broadcasts before you head home for the night? Listen to all the comments you make about Kelly Clarkson's weight, and saying something such as "That was the pleasantly plump Kelly Clarkson with..."
Please, just tell me why. I mean you never say anything like "That was the incredibly bitter and sexist Eminem." No, it's always something about Kelly Clarkson or Britney Spears.
It would be great if you could refrain from these childish comments, and just say that it's Kelly Clarkson's new song, without mentioning her weight. K?
Love,
-BJ
PS- You suck and I hate you.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
I Love Greeks
One of my friends, we'll call her GW, goes to a Greek orthodox church. Apparently, one day in Sunday school they talked about a movie called The Silent Scream, which argues that a fetus can feel pain. For evidence, according to GW (I've never seen the film), images of an 11-week old fetus during an abortion were shown, and the fetus's mouth looked like it was screaming (hence the title). At the time of my discussion with GW, I had no evidence with which to refute this claim.
But now I do!
In an article published in the Journal of the American Medical Association(1), researchers concluded that
So, basically, it is kind of impossible for a fetus to feel pain until the third trimester (as a general rule, of course). Argue with that.
This is why I should be President.
-TS
PS: I think I should win a prize for a title which has almost nothing to do with the post :)
1)Lee, Susan J., Ralston, Henry J. Peter, Drey, Eleanor A., Partridge, John Colin, & Rosen, Mark A. (2005). Fetal Pain: A Systematic Multidisciplinary Review of the Evidence. Journal of the American Medical Association, 294 (8), 947-954.
PS2) Note that the source I used was published in a scientific, peer reviewed journal, and the source GW used was a video put out by Several Sources Shelters, a non-profit Christian organization *cough*biased*cough*. Just saying...
PS3) I still love you, GW!
But now I do!
In an article published in the Journal of the American Medical Association(1), researchers concluded that
Pain is an emotional and psychological experience that requires conscious
recognition of a noxious stimulus. Consequently, the capacity for conscious
perception of pain can arise only after
thalamocortical pathways begin to
function, which may occur in the third trimester around 29 to 30 weeks’
gestational age, based on the limited data available.
So, basically, it is kind of impossible for a fetus to feel pain until the third trimester (as a general rule, of course). Argue with that.
This is why I should be President.
-TS
PS: I think I should win a prize for a title which has almost nothing to do with the post :)
1)Lee, Susan J., Ralston, Henry J. Peter, Drey, Eleanor A., Partridge, John Colin, & Rosen, Mark A. (2005). Fetal Pain: A Systematic Multidisciplinary Review of the Evidence. Journal of the American Medical Association, 294 (8), 947-954.
PS2) Note that the source I used was published in a scientific, peer reviewed journal, and the source GW used was a video put out by Several Sources Shelters, a non-profit Christian organization *cough*biased*cough*. Just saying...
PS3) I still love you, GW!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
I Hate Readers
This Article is a MUST READ!
Some of these people are disgusting. I'm so sick of hearing these "Oh Rihanna must have provoked Chris Brown" comments. Luckily, a few sane people are quick to say that Brown was, in fact, in the wrong when he attacked Rihanna.
The fact of the matter is, Rihanna was covered in bruises, and Brown was hiding in the back of a vehicle with a blanket over his head. Even if she said something to provoke him, what he did (if he did it, which I'm going to assume for the blog's purposes) was unacceptable. Now, if she hit him, I'm not saying he shouldn't have acted in self-defense, but considering that she suffered "a swollen split lip and two red and purple contusions on either side of her forehead", this was not self defense. Let's also take into consideration that reports state that Brown fled the scene.
In that same article above ("fled the scene") his cousin defends him, insisting that he was not brought up to beat a woman, and again uses the "she must have provoked him" BS excuse. Ah, let's not forget that his mother suffered domestic abuse at the hands of his stepfather.
I am a fan of Chris Brown. I like his music, and I think he's pretty fortunate looking. However, this should not and WILL not be used as an excuse to stand by him, and shame on those who do.
Rihanna, get well soon. Chris Brown, get a fucking counselor.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
PS- I was supposed to do an abstinence blog, but I'll get on that tomorrow. I'm gonna go run.
Some of these people are disgusting. I'm so sick of hearing these "Oh Rihanna must have provoked Chris Brown" comments. Luckily, a few sane people are quick to say that Brown was, in fact, in the wrong when he attacked Rihanna.
The fact of the matter is, Rihanna was covered in bruises, and Brown was hiding in the back of a vehicle with a blanket over his head. Even if she said something to provoke him, what he did (if he did it, which I'm going to assume for the blog's purposes) was unacceptable. Now, if she hit him, I'm not saying he shouldn't have acted in self-defense, but considering that she suffered "a swollen split lip and two red and purple contusions on either side of her forehead", this was not self defense. Let's also take into consideration that reports state that Brown fled the scene.
In that same article above ("fled the scene") his cousin defends him, insisting that he was not brought up to beat a woman, and again uses the "she must have provoked him" BS excuse. Ah, let's not forget that his mother suffered domestic abuse at the hands of his stepfather.
I am a fan of Chris Brown. I like his music, and I think he's pretty fortunate looking. However, this should not and WILL not be used as an excuse to stand by him, and shame on those who do.
Rihanna, get well soon. Chris Brown, get a fucking counselor.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
PS- I was supposed to do an abstinence blog, but I'll get on that tomorrow. I'm gonna go run.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I Love Top Model
Despite my irks with Tyra last season about choosing McKey over Analeigh, I can't keep away from my guilty pleasures for long. I looked up the contestants for Cycle 12, since Barack "Magical Miracle Black Man of Equality" Obama is now Pres, and politics have taken a back seat (though I'm sure one of us might do a blog about the bailout).
Anyways, here are the contestants. I'll say what I think and what I think should be done to them at makeovers.
Isabella- At first glance, I was hesitant, but the more I look, the more I like her. Give her a frayed, edgy short hair cut or dye it dark red (think Adrianne Curry) and then put her in a photo. However, she does have the same name as the main character in book-that-shall-not-be-named.
Jessica- I'm not sure. She looks like Jaslene with a rounder face. She'd have to prove herself in a photo. She needs a honey brown dye job or caramel highlights.
Kortine-I don't think she'll go very far, so expect her in the final three =P... Don't care much for her outfit, though I may just steal those boots. Should she make it to makeovers, I expect a lot more volume and perhaps some lowlights.
London- Not to jump to conclusions, but she looks like she just might be the bitch of the cycle at first glance. Not very modelesque, more like adorable. I'd like her to go very light blonde.
Natalie- That shirt does not do her justice at ALL... love her legs, though. She'll probably go light with layers added.
Nijah- This picture is very "Modeling 101." For her makeover, I'd suggest a long weave to to the middle of her back.
Sandra- I'm not too sure... she looks like a catalog model. They'll do the obvious and shave the rest of her hair off, probably.
Tahlia- WTF is up with that mom sweater?? Seriously, though she just looks so much like a mom in another catalog ad. They probably add more curls and waves in a same colored weave.
Teyona- By far, has the most beautiful skin... in her face. Why is the rest of her body lighter than her face? Anyways, for her, I want a long, dark, straight weave with a bold bang. Think Bre from cycle 5 mixed with Brittany from cycle 4.
Allison- Uh-oh. She looks like she gonna be the high fashion girl with very little confidence. (Shandi, cycle 2, Lauren, cycle 10, Marjorie, cycle 11, etc). They should pull a Shandi with this one and give her platinum blonde with big curls.
Aminat- She got the street beauty, but does she have the model beauty? We'll find out. Tyra likes afros, so she'll probably keep it.
Celia- Much too "mall' pretty. She reminds me of Whitney with the blonde weave. She should get a stylish asymmetrical bob.
Fo- Again, "street" pretty, but not sure about model pretty. Maybe she should get a bob... well, I'm rooting for a short haircut for her. Some fringy layers would do her good.
Tell me what you think of the models.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Anyways, here are the contestants. I'll say what I think and what I think should be done to them at makeovers.
Isabella- At first glance, I was hesitant, but the more I look, the more I like her. Give her a frayed, edgy short hair cut or dye it dark red (think Adrianne Curry) and then put her in a photo. However, she does have the same name as the main character in book-that-shall-not-be-named.
Jessica- I'm not sure. She looks like Jaslene with a rounder face. She'd have to prove herself in a photo. She needs a honey brown dye job or caramel highlights.
Kortine-I don't think she'll go very far, so expect her in the final three =P... Don't care much for her outfit, though I may just steal those boots. Should she make it to makeovers, I expect a lot more volume and perhaps some lowlights.
London- Not to jump to conclusions, but she looks like she just might be the bitch of the cycle at first glance. Not very modelesque, more like adorable. I'd like her to go very light blonde.
Natalie- That shirt does not do her justice at ALL... love her legs, though. She'll probably go light with layers added.
Nijah- This picture is very "Modeling 101." For her makeover, I'd suggest a long weave to to the middle of her back.
Sandra- I'm not too sure... she looks like a catalog model. They'll do the obvious and shave the rest of her hair off, probably.
Tahlia- WTF is up with that mom sweater?? Seriously, though she just looks so much like a mom in another catalog ad. They probably add more curls and waves in a same colored weave.
Teyona- By far, has the most beautiful skin... in her face. Why is the rest of her body lighter than her face? Anyways, for her, I want a long, dark, straight weave with a bold bang. Think Bre from cycle 5 mixed with Brittany from cycle 4.
Allison- Uh-oh. She looks like she gonna be the high fashion girl with very little confidence. (Shandi, cycle 2, Lauren, cycle 10, Marjorie, cycle 11, etc). They should pull a Shandi with this one and give her platinum blonde with big curls.
Aminat- She got the street beauty, but does she have the model beauty? We'll find out. Tyra likes afros, so she'll probably keep it.
Celia- Much too "mall' pretty. She reminds me of Whitney with the blonde weave. She should get a stylish asymmetrical bob.
Fo- Again, "street" pretty, but not sure about model pretty. Maybe she should get a bob... well, I'm rooting for a short haircut for her. Some fringy layers would do her good.
Tell me what you think of the models.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Stephen King Hates Twilight
For real!!! Stephen King, whom I adore, hates You-Know-What (... I know I just said it...) Check out his interview:
http://blogs.usaweekend.com/whos_news/2009/02/exclusive-steph.html
He says:
"...The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good."
I haven't been through all of the comments, but the first one made me crack up. In it, a 24 year old college graduate disses King:
"King is demented and once he quits writing his books will fade away. I don't see any lit teachers doing a section on him in the future.
I'm am 24, female, with a college degree and I loved the twilight books."
Because Twilight will definitely be discussed by lit teachers... and that will be the day that my children shall be homeschooled.
Stephen King has more talent in the proton on the nucleus of the smallest cell on his pinky than Stephenie Meyer has, or could dream of having, in her whole body (not an exaggeration).
This is why I should be president.
-TS
http://blogs.usaweekend.com/whos_news/2009/02/exclusive-steph.html
He says:
"...The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good."
I haven't been through all of the comments, but the first one made me crack up. In it, a 24 year old college graduate disses King:
"King is demented and once he quits writing his books will fade away. I don't see any lit teachers doing a section on him in the future.
I'm am 24, female, with a college degree and I loved the twilight books."
Because Twilight will definitely be discussed by lit teachers... and that will be the day that my children shall be homeschooled.
Stephen King has more talent in the proton on the nucleus of the smallest cell on his pinky than Stephenie Meyer has, or could dream of having, in her whole body (not an exaggeration).
This is why I should be president.
-TS
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
I Love Puppies
So, one of my parentals just got a job that pays lots of cash.
Which means, come spring tie, we'll build a fence.
Which means, come summer time, we'll get a puppy. And who doesn't love puppies?
I'll tell you who: Ann Coulter.
ANN COULTER HATES PUPPIES. D= From now on, this will be my new meditation mantra. "Ann. Coulter. Hates. Puppies."
But I don't.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Which means, come spring tie, we'll build a fence.
Which means, come summer time, we'll get a puppy. And who doesn't love puppies?
I'll tell you who: Ann Coulter.
ANN COULTER HATES PUPPIES. D= From now on, this will be my new meditation mantra. "Ann. Coulter. Hates. Puppies."
But I don't.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Monday, January 26, 2009
I Hate Taylor Swift
Fuck Taylor Swift.
I swear to Gods if I have to listen to "Love Story" on the radio one more time...
I'm going to burst into little bloody pieces all over my bedroom.
That is all.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
I swear to Gods if I have to listen to "Love Story" on the radio one more time...
I'm going to burst into little bloody pieces all over my bedroom.
That is all.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Sunday, January 25, 2009
I Still Hate Twilight
So, TS and I are trying to look up a book on Amazon that begins with the word "the" and the letter "t".
The moment we typed in the letter "t", THIS god awful mess appeared.
BTW, the WTF and red marks were originally on there. We soooo did not add them in Paint. As an icon (also saved onto my computer) once said:
"Twilight makes me weep for the future of literature."
This is why I should be President.
-TS & BJ
The moment we typed in the letter "t", THIS god awful mess appeared.
BTW, the WTF and red marks were originally on there. We soooo did not add them in Paint. As an icon (also saved onto my computer) once said:
"Twilight makes me weep for the future of literature."
This is why I should be President.
-TS & BJ
Friday, January 23, 2009
I Hate Procrastination
And yet, I am one of hundreds of procrastination queens.
Expect a review of InkHeart later. TS and I are having a girls night out. Or as Miley "Can't learn my lesson and I still keep taking risque pictures: Cyrus calls it: the GNO.
-Insert Review Here- In about 4 hours. ;P
Expect a review of InkHeart later. TS and I are having a girls night out. Or as Miley "Can't learn my lesson and I still keep taking risque pictures: Cyrus calls it: the GNO.
-Insert Review Here- In about 4 hours. ;P
Thursday, January 22, 2009
I Hate Freaks
Happy 36th anniversary of Roe v. Wade!!! I can almost ignore freaks like this:
http://www.startribune.com/local/38140094.html
-TS
http://www.startribune.com/local/38140094.html
-TS
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
I Love Inaugurations
Especially when it's happening to a Democrat.
And wasn't I SOOOO totally right? Who else watched Obama's speech and saw rainbows and sparkles in the background? At one point, I'm pretty sure I saw a unicorn flitting through the crowd.
Even though a unicorn would probably have trouble flitting through a crowd of about 4 million people. (No joke.)
"Hey, is that a unicorn?"
"Shut the hell up! Obama's talking!"
The African-Americans celebrating at the inauguration with us were extremely happy and inspired, though, being the naive white girl I am, it WAS a bit frustrating knowing that most of them didn't care at all about his political views.
So, much to the dismay of my wonderful sponser, I did an improv speech encouraging them to join Young Democrats.
Jackasses forever!
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
And wasn't I SOOOO totally right? Who else watched Obama's speech and saw rainbows and sparkles in the background? At one point, I'm pretty sure I saw a unicorn flitting through the crowd.
Even though a unicorn would probably have trouble flitting through a crowd of about 4 million people. (No joke.)
"Hey, is that a unicorn?"
"Shut the hell up! Obama's talking!"
The African-Americans celebrating at the inauguration with us were extremely happy and inspired, though, being the naive white girl I am, it WAS a bit frustrating knowing that most of them didn't care at all about his political views.
So, much to the dismay of my wonderful sponser, I did an improv speech encouraging them to join Young Democrats.
Jackasses forever!
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Monday, January 12, 2009
I Hate Double Standards
I don't have time this morning, so somebody PLEASE remind me to rant about this article later:
Article Here
In the first paragraph, the article talks about "Closet Space."
"It's okay to stash emergency tampons in your man's medicine cabinet. But if you start staking out his closet, he'll feel like it's a full-scale space invasion. Take it from Reggie, 29: 'The commute to my girl's office is easier for her from my apartment, so she started staying over during the week," he explains. "The arrangement was cool until she began to keep more and more stuff at my place. Before I knew it, her dry cleaning was taking up half my closet. I said she could leave a few things, not move in!' "
Now, that, I am OK with. This is a common courtesy thing that everyone needs to respect. It's like if I go to TS's house every once in a while, but start going so often that I decide to keep my bird, fish, and computer (the latter, she probably wouldn't mind) at her house. Then, I started leaving all of my school outfits there and underwear and the like got mixed up.
Yuck. Next subject.
For a while, I didn't really think too much on the second one. Then, I got around to actually digesting it, and realized how much it pissed me off:
"I dated a girl who straightened my apartment every time she came over," he says. "The day she headed toward my bedroom with a vacuum and dust rag, I had flashbacks of my mother pulling my porn stash from underneath my unmade bed when I was 15. Not a good visual!"
Seriously?! Your girlfriend is fucking cleaning up after you and all you can think about is your mom?! There's another comment in parenthesis about a French maid costume which I won't post here. You're lucky she's cleaning up and not nagging you 24/7 about your fucking pig sty. What a load of bull.
And besides, if you're stupid enough to hide pornography in a place so obvious as under the bed, you deserve to have someone come in and find it. For that matter, you're lucky your mom even cleaned up after you, you dumb swine.
The third one is disgusting. Who the fuck would ever want to use their boyfriend's toothbrush? An icky person. Bleh. No further comments.
The last one (about the remote) really just kind of baffles me. Men can't share the TV every once in a while because if we rule the TV, we start to take over everything? That's pretty sad. If you can take over the television on Super Bowl Sunday, then I at least deserve a day of "Top Model" should a marathon be running that day.
Edit: TS here. I have to quote this to get the full effect across:
"Guys are more than willing to hand over the reins when it comes to many things. For instance, feel free to take control in the sack."
Oh. My. God. OK, so it's fine for a girl to be in control only when it's sexy for the guy. Screw that.
This is why I should be president.
-TS and BJ
Article Here
In the first paragraph, the article talks about "Closet Space."
"It's okay to stash emergency tampons in your man's medicine cabinet. But if you start staking out his closet, he'll feel like it's a full-scale space invasion. Take it from Reggie, 29: 'The commute to my girl's office is easier for her from my apartment, so she started staying over during the week," he explains. "The arrangement was cool until she began to keep more and more stuff at my place. Before I knew it, her dry cleaning was taking up half my closet. I said she could leave a few things, not move in!' "
Now, that, I am OK with. This is a common courtesy thing that everyone needs to respect. It's like if I go to TS's house every once in a while, but start going so often that I decide to keep my bird, fish, and computer (the latter, she probably wouldn't mind) at her house. Then, I started leaving all of my school outfits there and underwear and the like got mixed up.
Yuck. Next subject.
For a while, I didn't really think too much on the second one. Then, I got around to actually digesting it, and realized how much it pissed me off:
"I dated a girl who straightened my apartment every time she came over," he says. "The day she headed toward my bedroom with a vacuum and dust rag, I had flashbacks of my mother pulling my porn stash from underneath my unmade bed when I was 15. Not a good visual!"
Seriously?! Your girlfriend is fucking cleaning up after you and all you can think about is your mom?! There's another comment in parenthesis about a French maid costume which I won't post here. You're lucky she's cleaning up and not nagging you 24/7 about your fucking pig sty. What a load of bull.
And besides, if you're stupid enough to hide pornography in a place so obvious as under the bed, you deserve to have someone come in and find it. For that matter, you're lucky your mom even cleaned up after you, you dumb swine.
The third one is disgusting. Who the fuck would ever want to use their boyfriend's toothbrush? An icky person. Bleh. No further comments.
The last one (about the remote) really just kind of baffles me. Men can't share the TV every once in a while because if we rule the TV, we start to take over everything? That's pretty sad. If you can take over the television on Super Bowl Sunday, then I at least deserve a day of "Top Model" should a marathon be running that day.
Edit: TS here. I have to quote this to get the full effect across:
"Guys are more than willing to hand over the reins when it comes to many things. For instance, feel free to take control in the sack."
Oh. My. God. OK, so it's fine for a girl to be in control only when it's sexy for the guy. Screw that.
This is why I should be president.
-TS and BJ
Monday, January 5, 2009
I Still Love Movies
In case you will be needing to occupy yourself for a while, here's a list of my favorite movies. Features an array of different genres, but there are a few animated films
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: By far, the BEST adaptation movie since "To Kill a Mockingbird." The inaccuracies are so few and far between, you don't notice. Not to mention, isn't the HP trio just the cutest little bunch of ten year olds you've ever seen in your life? Harry's face when he first witnesses magic is adorable, and it has a certain charm and naivety the later movies lack. (Though I also love 'Chamber of Secrets')
Beauty and the Beast: This movie is irresistible. The songs are fun, the animation is beautiful, and the characters are more 3 dimensional than they look. Definitely a better romance than 'Twilight'.
Anastasia: Though this movie doesn't exactly boast historical accuracy, it has that nice Don Bluth touch in which the characters are neatly drawn and the surroundings are breath-taking. There are a few cute musical numbers, too, most of which I memorized in fifth grade.
All Dogs Go to Heaven: Speaking of Don Bluth, this is probably his most fun movie. I adore "Secret of NIHM," but there's just something about this movie that just keeps me glued to the TV every time I watch it. When Charlie finally ascends to Heaven at the end of the film, I tear up every time.
The Plague Dogs: I just recently watched this film, but the two furry main characters stole my heart. Rowf and Snitter, the main dogs, are constantly pitted against overwhelming odds and you just want to take them home. Or perhaps not. Snitter attracts the worst luck when it comes to owners.
The Silence of the Lambs: Jodie Foster, Anthony Hopkins, and cannibalism. What's not to love? Rent it.
Scream: I just love how this movie makes fun of itself, and how the characters are aware of all the slasher movie cliches to the point of brushing against the fourth wall. I NEVER get tired of this movie, and I laugh at Stu and Gary every time.
Mean Girls: My dad said everybody's generation has a high school movie. I proudly declare this one my high school movie.
Something's Gotta Give: Probably my favorite romantic-comedy. Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton are a hilarious older couple. In ten years, I can see them rocking in chairs on the porch, Diane writing a screenplay while Jack shouts at the neighborhood kids to get the hell off the lawn.
Tell me about your favorite movies. (I looking at yooooooooouuuu, TS... lol, not really.)
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: By far, the BEST adaptation movie since "To Kill a Mockingbird." The inaccuracies are so few and far between, you don't notice. Not to mention, isn't the HP trio just the cutest little bunch of ten year olds you've ever seen in your life? Harry's face when he first witnesses magic is adorable, and it has a certain charm and naivety the later movies lack. (Though I also love 'Chamber of Secrets')
Beauty and the Beast: This movie is irresistible. The songs are fun, the animation is beautiful, and the characters are more 3 dimensional than they look. Definitely a better romance than 'Twilight'.
Anastasia: Though this movie doesn't exactly boast historical accuracy, it has that nice Don Bluth touch in which the characters are neatly drawn and the surroundings are breath-taking. There are a few cute musical numbers, too, most of which I memorized in fifth grade.
All Dogs Go to Heaven: Speaking of Don Bluth, this is probably his most fun movie. I adore "Secret of NIHM," but there's just something about this movie that just keeps me glued to the TV every time I watch it. When Charlie finally ascends to Heaven at the end of the film, I tear up every time.
The Plague Dogs: I just recently watched this film, but the two furry main characters stole my heart. Rowf and Snitter, the main dogs, are constantly pitted against overwhelming odds and you just want to take them home. Or perhaps not. Snitter attracts the worst luck when it comes to owners.
The Silence of the Lambs: Jodie Foster, Anthony Hopkins, and cannibalism. What's not to love? Rent it.
Scream: I just love how this movie makes fun of itself, and how the characters are aware of all the slasher movie cliches to the point of brushing against the fourth wall. I NEVER get tired of this movie, and I laugh at Stu and Gary every time.
Mean Girls: My dad said everybody's generation has a high school movie. I proudly declare this one my high school movie.
Something's Gotta Give: Probably my favorite romantic-comedy. Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton are a hilarious older couple. In ten years, I can see them rocking in chairs on the porch, Diane writing a screenplay while Jack shouts at the neighborhood kids to get the hell off the lawn.
Tell me about your favorite movies. (I looking at yooooooooouuuu, TS... lol, not really.)
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
Sunday, January 4, 2009
I Love Colleges
BJ wrote about her New Year's Resolutions, so I suppose I should write about mine. Here it goes:
1) Cut back on soda. Caffeine withdrawals SUCK!
2) Finish one of my stories (I have less motivation than BJ).
3) Stop biting my nails.
So I kind of cheated and I've already accomplished number 3... and I never said WHEN in 2009 I will accomplish 1 and 2... so I'm good the way I am for a while.
And all of this has to do with college. No, really, it does.
OK, it doesn't. You see, today I officially accepted my offer of admission to the University of Illinois-Urbana-Champaign (engineering major). Why so early? Because --get this!-- I'm also enrolled at St. Louis University right now (in a dual-credit course) until January 7, so... I'm in two colleges at once!
I think it's funny.
This is why I should be president.
-TS
1) Cut back on soda. Caffeine withdrawals SUCK!
2) Finish one of my stories (I have less motivation than BJ).
3) Stop biting my nails.
So I kind of cheated and I've already accomplished number 3... and I never said WHEN in 2009 I will accomplish 1 and 2... so I'm good the way I am for a while.
And all of this has to do with college. No, really, it does.
OK, it doesn't. You see, today I officially accepted my offer of admission to the University of Illinois-Urbana-Champaign (engineering major). Why so early? Because --get this!-- I'm also enrolled at St. Louis University right now (in a dual-credit course) until January 7, so... I'm in two colleges at once!
I think it's funny.
This is why I should be president.
-TS
Saturday, January 3, 2009
I Hate New Years Resolutions
HA! Nabbed the first post of 2009! Suck on that, TS!
......Just kidding.....
Anyways, during my New Year's Eve celebration, I snarfed down a TON of goodies, and if I ate like that every day, I'd probably weigh at least 250 pounds by 2010. THAT'S not a healthy spike in weight. O_o
So, here are my New Years resolutions:
Cut back on beef. In the immortal words of Chik-Fil-A, "Eat mor chiken."
Also cut back on dairy.
Support better treament of dairy cows, pigs, and chickens at the slaughterhouse. For the love of all that is holy, STOP shoving growth hormones down the throats of our hamburgers!
Donate and help charities that shelter victims of domestic abuse.
Volunteer at the humane society and look for a house-broken dog in the process.
Finish 3 stories.
And I SUPPOSE I'll try to be a "better" person and all that junk. Not. Being a hypocrite is too much fun.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
PS- I'm so excited! Barack Obama will be inaugurated on the 20th and he'll turn America into a land of magical happiness and equality. The ceremony will have rainbows and unicorns and we'll have another Progressive Era and everyone will have sparkles flying out their butts!
Happy New Year. ;P
......Just kidding.....
Anyways, during my New Year's Eve celebration, I snarfed down a TON of goodies, and if I ate like that every day, I'd probably weigh at least 250 pounds by 2010. THAT'S not a healthy spike in weight. O_o
So, here are my New Years resolutions:
Cut back on beef. In the immortal words of Chik-Fil-A, "Eat mor chiken."
Also cut back on dairy.
Support better treament of dairy cows, pigs, and chickens at the slaughterhouse. For the love of all that is holy, STOP shoving growth hormones down the throats of our hamburgers!
Donate and help charities that shelter victims of domestic abuse.
Volunteer at the humane society and look for a house-broken dog in the process.
Finish 3 stories.
And I SUPPOSE I'll try to be a "better" person and all that junk. Not. Being a hypocrite is too much fun.
This is why I should be President.
-BJ
PS- I'm so excited! Barack Obama will be inaugurated on the 20th and he'll turn America into a land of magical happiness and equality. The ceremony will have rainbows and unicorns and we'll have another Progressive Era and everyone will have sparkles flying out their butts!
Happy New Year. ;P
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